Glee

Quinn: (Finn passes a note to Quinn) What is this? Finn: Check it out. I came up with the name that I think we can give for the kid. Will: Eyes on your own test, Finn. What's up now, Ronnie? Finn: Anyway, then I read that Gwyneth Paltrow named her kid Apple and I think that's so cool 'cause you know how much I love apples, right? Quinn: And so I figured we should name our kid something more original and poetic. Then I came up with the best baby name of all time... (Quinn opens the note) Drizzle! Quinn: Drizzle?! Finn: Yeah, yeah, it's- you know how awesome it is when it's drizzling outside, but it- it's not really raining so it smells like rain but you don't need an umbrella to go outside? Quinn: Are you a moron?! Finn: What? Quinn: We're not naming our baby Drizzle- we're not naming our baby anything! Finish your test, Finn.

Will: Sue. Hey, Sylvester, I'm talking to you! Sue: Oh, hey, buddy. I thought I smelled failure. Will: Why'd you take the piano when it was my time up with the kids? Sue: A properly steam-cleaned piano is the key to any successful music group. Will: You are undermining me in front of these students. Sue: Your delusions of persecution are a telltale sign of early-stage paranoid schizophrenia.

Sue: (to Principal Figgins about Will failing most of her cheerleaders) This is a travesty of international proportions! You are jeopardizing my Cherrios' role as good-will ambassadors, and I have a call in to the president. Will: Sue, I have in my hand a Spanish quiz in which one of your cheerleaders misspelled her name, and answered every question with a drawing of a sombrero!

Will: Since 1992, 95 percent of your Cheerios should have flunked Spanish, and I, for one, am not gonna be a part of it anymore! Sue: Oh, Will! We all know about your devotion to that dying language! Will: Dying language?! Sue: Let me break this down for you, okay? I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go on to college? I don't know. I don't care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they want to become dishwashers and gardeners. But if they wanna be bankers and lawyers and captains of industry, the most important lesson they could possibly learn is how to do a round-off!

Will: See you at Glee Club, Sue. Sue: Don't touch me. (Will pokes Sue) Sue: That is a lawsuit, mister! I will sue your ass!

Kurt: Sue told me that if she caught me even talking to one of Mr. Schue's kids, she'd shave my head! And I just can't rock that look. (All the kids laugh) Even Justin Timberlake is growing his 'fro back!

Sue: Are these your droopy white granny panties, Jacob? Are you an Eve who was born a Steve? Because if you are, I think there's a special school that would better address your needs. And I think that school is in Thailand.

Sue: Sometimes people ask me, "Sue, how come you're so sensitive to minorities?" Well, I'll tell you why: because I know firsthand how hard it is to struggle as a minority in America today. I'm 1/16th Comanche Indian. In fact, I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one.

Sue: I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help but picture little birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and it disgusts me.

Sue: Santana! Wheels! Gay kid! Asian! Other Asian! Aretha! And Shaft! (to Will)See, Will? I don't want to participate in any group that ignores the needs of minority students.

Sue: I'm all about empowerment. I empower my Cheerios to live in a state of constant fear by creating an environment of irrational, random terror.