Alton: Ahh. The pie cooling on the windowsill. It's not so much a dessert as an icon. An edible emblem of America, democracy, and all that is good. But allow me to humbly suggest that in this guise at least, pie is actually a tool of repression. Think about it. It's almost as tedious to eat as it is to make. Specialized equipment is required for extracting the pieces. You need a plate. You need a fork. And then, of course, you've got to have a table to sit at. And as for removing the first piece, well, I'd just as soon take out my own appendix with a pen knife. No, this is not a pastry for the convenience age.