Jake: You know what sucks? Look at us, we're both easy-going, and smart, and funny. Why can't love be like this? You know, just two people hanging out. Easy, no angst, no drama, no- Penny: Crystals?
Jake: Frank, open the door and leave. Frank: That's exactly what my mom said to me on my 18th birthday.
Jake: Penny! Did you just see that? Penny: What? When you yelled "Penny!" and woke me up?
Jake: Hot and smart can go together. Penny: Uh, not since Einstein was cremated.
Gavin: So, I'm actually hosting a show where we slot in the producers grandmother, because the weather nun has gone AWOL. What teenage witch did I cut off in traffic?
Jake: Oh you know whats good for congestion? Decongestant.
Jake: What are you doing with my gym bag? Penny: I think the bigger question is 'what are you doing with leg warmers?'
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