Florida Evans (1974-1977), (1978-1979)
James Evans (1974-1976)
James "J.J." Evans, Jr.
Thelma Evans Anderson
Notice all of the locks on the door in this episode. Did the neighborhood suddenly become safe because after this episode all of the extra locks are never seen again.
(about the boy who shot himself)
Michael: Daddy, the gun wasn't yours.
James: Oh it was and don't try to tell me any different.
Michael: But Daddy it's not your gun. Last night I got to thinking, what would you do if you ever really got mad? Hmmm, so I took it.
Florida: You did?
Michael: Yeah, I took it and hid it in that lamp you were fixing.
Florida: Maybe it wasn't your gun.
James: It was my gun, Florida, the kid wouldn't be hurting now if it weren't for me. It was supposed to be for protection but who in God's name did it protect?
Florida: I didn't take the gun, James.
James: Well the gun didn't just get up out of the box and walk away!
J.J.: Maybe a moth ate it...all we'd have to do would be to find a pregnant looking moth.
(trying to figure out who took the gun, all eyes go to J.J.)
J.J.: Don't look at me, my idea of a Saturday night special is getting a girl to say yes to a date who's said no for the last six nights of the week.
Willona: Is that one of those Saturday night specials?
Willona: I heard they go off if you breathe on them heavy.
James: Guns don't kill people, Florida, people kill people.
Florida: With guns.
James: It don't matter if they outlaw them or not, the bad guys will always find a way to get guns.
Florida: I read that every minute, someone in this country gets shot.
James: Then some dude must be full of holes by now.
Willona: Florida, did you hear?
James: Yeah we heard, now get out.
Willona: But wait till I tell you...
James: We don't have time for your Mickey Mouse gossip.
Willona: It is not Mickey Mouse gossip...a five year old boy in this building accidentally shot himself today. It's the story you always hear about, a child playing with a loaded gun that went off.
Florida: Oh Lord...
Willona: What's going on here?
Thelma: Daddy's gun is missing and we can't find it.
J.J.: It's getting so dangerous in this neighborhood, the Tidy Bowl man is trading in his rowboat for a battleship.
J.J.: You know, that gun is a lot like me: slim, black, and...(claps)...DY-NO-MITE!
Officer Wigmore: But we're trying to make sure that law enforcement is the same here in chocolate city as it is out in the vanilla suburbs.
J.J.: But in the suburbs, the cops come with two scoops, whip cream and a cherry. All we get around here are sprinkled nuts!
Willona: Where'd you get your housekeeping tips from, "Better Homes and Garbage?"
Florida: You can thank my interior decorator here (looking at James) the black tornado.
James: Florida, I don't know how I'm gonna find that gun if you stand there playing 'this is the way we fold our clothes.
James: You're the one who said you couldn't sleep with that gun in the house.
Florida: I'm also the one who is so frightened of a gun that if I touched it, I'd turn white as a sheet.
J.J.: And if that don't prove Ma's innocent, nothing will.
Willona: I regret that I have only one life to give for my panty hose.
J.J: Say dad, what if a lawless intruder comes into the house and tries to harm the more defenseless members of the family, can I get a rod and waste 'em?
James: No, Junior. I want you to do what you do best: Yell for help, run in a corner, and shake till I get here!
Florida: I can't tell you how good it is to have a gun in the house. Now get rid of it!
This episode was videotaped on July 17, 1975.
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