Blair admits she's pregnant after Dorota goes to the gynecologist to get her own pregnancy test. But Louis's sister, Beatrice, thinks her bouts of morning sickness are a sign of bulimia and keeps trying to get Blair to eat.
Blair confesses her pregnancy to Dan and Beatrice overhears. She spreads the news to a good-looking priest in a limo and then, as if her lips couldn't get any looser, she starts to make out with him.
Dan is trying to find out who has their hands on his secret novel before it goes public.
Chuck joins a fight club in LA because he no longer can feel pain. When Dan finds out, he tries to get Chuck to stop. He tells Chuck he needs to treat his post-traumatic stress disorder from getting shot with more positive experiences, such as letting Dan tickle him.
Things are going well for Nate. He's having a steamy affair with Elizabeth Hurley, and the CEO for Goldman Sachs and a New York senator are vying for him to intern with them.
Serena gets her fake cousin Ivy/Charlie to move in with her, but then decides to move back to the Big Apple. Upper West Side better watch out!