Gossip Girl Season 1 Episode 15

Chuck: (referring to Blair) She really needs to tone down the social niceties. It's embarrassing.
Serena: Eventually, the two of you are gonna have to work out your issues.
Chuck: What issues? I'm issue-free. And based on my exhaustive research... So are you.
Serena: (anxious) Georgina?
Chuck: According to my very reliable sources, Georgina Sparks is nowhere near our fair isle. She's in Switzerland, dating the prince of Belfort.
Serena: There's a prince of Belfort? And she's dating him? Oh, thank God!
Chuck: Now you can enjoy the gifts she mailed you with peace of mind... And maybe Chuck in the room?
Serena: (shoving him) Oh, shoot, except we're siblings!
Chuck: Georgie always brought out the devil in you. Part of me is a little disappointed she's not here.
Serena: (ironically) Mm, I wonder which part.
Chuck: It's been a while since I saw the old Serena.
Serena: Well, thanks to her, the new one has to break 2000 on her SATs, so, if you could just go smarm elsewhere...
Chuck: The offer still stands. I know a lovely little redhead that's just dying to be you for the day...
Serena: Oh, I'll leave the cheating to you, Chuck. I plan on taking the SATs myself.

Serena: This is not about last year Georgina, it's about last night!
Georgina: Like you are some innocent bystander who walked in on...
Serena: I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT IT GEORGINA, OKAY?! And neither are you. If I going down, you're going down with me. In the meantime, stay out of my life.
Georgina: I don't need anyone in my life who doesn't wanna be there.
Serena: Then we're agreed.

Asher: Oh, oh so sorry. Are you okay?
Jenny: Yeah. (laughs) My lunch isn't though.
Asher: Uh, let me give you my last dollar.
Jenny: Oh, I couldn't you shouldn't be walking the streets with no money.
Asher: Let's just settle for an I.O.U. then.
Jenny: It's just a hot dog.

Dan: Yo, hey, buddy, there you go.
Georgina: Oh, awww, Georgie hey, bad boy. Sorry he disturbed you.
Dan: Well, uh, it's fine. I love dogs.
Georgina: Really. Do you have any?
Dan: No, uh, we use to have a cat, uh, but you know... sister, allergies.

Serena: I gotta wait for Dan. He's stressed, he doesn't do very well with tests so...
Blair: Performance anxiety?
Serena: Bye Blair!

Blair: (about her practice SAT score)2200.. which means Nelly Yuki probably got 2300.
Serena: You don't even talk to her. Why do you care how she does?
Blair: Nelly Yuki has her sights set on Yale, too. What are the odds of them accepting two girls from Constance? And have you seen Nelly Nuki's extracurriculars? I need to kick her well-rounded ass!

Gossip Girl: (after Georgina returns and talks to Serena) Spotted in the courtyard, S., looking like she's seen a ghost. The ghost of parties past.

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Serena van der Woodsen being given a real life multiple choice question.
a) Go home and study.
b) Get a good night sleep.
c) Call your boyfriend ...
or d) none of the above.
Hope that wasn't the wrong answer, S. This test doesn't grade on a curve.

Blair: Ew gross! Incoming, Chuck.

Blair: Nelly Yuki must be destroyed!
Serena: Why do you keep saying her name?
Blair: Because it's Nelly Yuki!

Georgina: (to Serena) So you want to distance yourself from your mistakes by staying away from me.

Isabel: So how did you get Todd to play along?
Blair: Hey Is, what are you doing tonight?
Isabel: Uh, not Todd.
Blair: Fine, I guess I'll have to come up with something else.

Nelly: Todd's here? Do I have cushion face?
Isabel: A little.

Dan: I can't concentrate.
Jenny: The sound of your own voice annoying you?

Georgina: (to Serena) And do you remember when we ran out of money and I had to flash the bartender?

Georgina: (to Serena) You always did know how to leave them wanting more.

Elise: What are you doing? He's gorgeous.
Jenny: He's a dog-walker. I need a king, not a jester.

(Serena covers Dan's eyes and kisses him)
Dan: Oh Chuck, I had no idea you felt that way about me.

(phone call)
Dan: (thinking it's Serena) Hey, I've been wondering where you were.
Chuck: You mean all of your life?
Dan: Uh, don't take this the wrong way, Serena, but you sound just like this jackass we know.
Chuck: Serena has food poisoning. She's too sick to come to your playdate.
Dan: Put her on the phone.
Chuck: The bathroom doesn't get reception.
Dan: Somehow I don't believe you.
Chuck: And I'd like to say I'm a little glad about that, but my poor, sick sister has asked for my assistance in the matter, so I'll leave it at this. She's not coming, don't try calling. Humphrey, always a pleasure.