Sweet, sweet satisfaction is in the air. After four long and torturous weeks, our beloved Gossip Girl returns.
8.0
"Great"
In the original run, Gossip Girl off the air for a month before this episode was shown, and it was surely back with a vengeance. The UES's most famous high schoolers staged "The Age of Innocence" for Constance and St. Jude's. Now, I'm sure I missed more than a few delicious satires last night, as I am much like Serena and Nate in the fact that I've never read the book or seen the movie, but I'll try to hit on all the key points..
Let's talk about Chuck. Is he still in school? All signs point to no, seeing as his father's friend that he met at lunch seemed to know that young Charles was learning the ropes of the family business. Yet Nate mentioned earlier in the episode that Chuck got a doctor to excuse him from completing the senior requirment of the play by diagnosing him with "acute stage fright." Riiiiiight. And the faculty at St. Jude's believed that. Also, wasn't he expelled earlier this year for being habitually absent and having a major drug problem? And speaking of drugs, why has Erik, of all people, been the only one to have ever gone to rehab? And can we just end this stupid "Elle" plotline already?
Great...on to Blair and Dorota, the true heriones of this show. I loved the moment when Dorota is attaching the extension to the back of Blair's head and she gets transfixed by imagining it on her own head. Oh poor Dorota, your snazzy red cape is just not enough! Miss Blair needs to give you a better uniform. And speaking of that, how awesome was it when Penelope realized she was wearing the same outfit as Dorota! Perfect.
Ok, Vanessa. This character often elicits the most fury from loyal fans, because she's just so lame. This week, she was better, but mostly because the writers started feeding her meta-self-deprecating lines, such as when she says "I'm totally annoying!" but doesn't really mean it. We mean it, Vanessa. We mean it. Still, she was better this week. She got some major points for being one of the only girls to know that Julian the director was a huge tool (the other was Blair, of course), and even more points for how confident she was when she explained the phone mix-up to Nate. Serena would have grabbed his wrists and pleaded but V just laughed it off. It was pretty cool of her. Ok, but that's the last compliment she gets because she was doing another documentary. Really? Really!?! She's becoming the girl version of Mark from Rent.
Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. What is wrong with you? Just because she is from Iowa, she is incredibly naive gets totally used by all the rich UES kids? No, that totally wouldn't happen. But you know what, I'll forgive it. Because without dear Miss Carr, we would have never been treated to Dan's best line of the entire series as he passed by Blair: "Oh and we had sex in the costume closet, so do whatever you want with that." Dan Humphrey, I might just love you again. Also, I have note how much I loved the self-awareness of the show that when it panned over the top of the audience at one point, there were numerous bright blue and white blobs shining out of laps. Props for that, only there would be so many more cell phones if that were truly a high school production. But then again, that crowd was pretty old, and nearly the entire cast of the show was in the play, so I'll let it slide. But where was Erik? He didn't come see his sister act? And Lily is not the best mother in the world, but she didn't come to see her daughter either? No wonder Serena was lusting after the unavailable gay director.
And let's face it, the play was terrible, but its abrupt end provided Gossip Girl with a great voiceover: "As Shakespeare said, 'All's well that ends well,' and sometimes it just..ends." Where would this show be without Kristen Bell and her fabulous writers?? And while I'm breaking the fourth wall here, let's talk about the sponsorship last night. No, it wasn't Axe Bodyspray or Neutrogena, or even one of John Krasinski's Blackberry Storm ads. No. It was X-Men. Um, seriously? I know that the show isn't watched entirely by teenage girls, but I have to guess that the X-Men movie could have reached a much better audience if they had aired that ad at the same time on CBS while The Big Bang Theory was on..
And so finally we come to the final scene with Blair and Carter Baizen. One terrible thing about the internet is the fact that nearly every diehard Gossip Girl gossip fan had seen or heard about this drink between Blair and Carter. (Sidenote, it was doubly fun to watch since Sebastian and Leighton are dating in real life!) The second that Elle told Chuck he should love someone who cares, I knew that even his cold heart would eventually realize that that is Blair. So of course the perfect juxtaposition occured as Chuck sat waiting, with beautiful flowers in hand, for Blair to return, while she finished a scandalous martini next to Chuck's long lost nemesis Carter Baizen. If Gossip Girl taught us anything this week, it's that this is merely March, so Chuck and Blair (Bluck? Chair?) have two more months to dance their tempting tango before the beloved May Sweepsmoreless