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Erik van der Woodsen
Gossip Girl's post at the beginning reads:
"King N and Queen B rule again
We all knew their break up couldn't be for good. What's Blair without Nate? He's the Jimmy to her Choo. The Dom to her Perignon. One cannot happily exist without the other. We're thrilled to have our favorite couple back. They're the epitome of UES high school royalty. Long live the King and Queen, happy together and so in love.
XOXO Gossip Girl"
When Blair tells Chuck she's not pregnant, she wasn't wearing a bright red jacket. But after school she is wearing one.
Dan: Please say something. Anything would be better than this I'm-so-disappointed-in-you silence.
Rufus: Since the time you could walk, your mother and I knew you were special. Very smart, very talented. And we promised each other we would do whatever it took to give you a bright future. And that did not include you becoming a teenage father.
Dan: Dad, this wasn't a part of my plan either. Seriously not a part of the plan. But whatever Serena decides to do, I want to be there for her. I have to be there for her. I love her.
Dan: I do. Whether she's pregnant, whether she's not pregnant. I love her.
Rufus: First thing's first, you need to talk to her. Maybe it's not even true.
Dan: Did you hear what I just said?
Rufus: I heard you and I hope you heard what I said.
Jenny: DAN!!!! (Dan and Rufus come in)
Dan: What? Are you okay?
Jenny: Fine. I was just testing my screaming to see screaming efficiency.
Dan: Dad, then with your permission, I'd like to kill her please.
Rufus: What are you hiding?
Jenny: Nothing. (Rufus tries to open her laptop) Dad, stop! You're invading my privacy.
Dan: This is a loft. You have no privacy.
Jenny: No, stop! (Dan and Rufus lift Jenny out of the way) You guys! Dan, you're gonna be really sorry you did that.
Eric: Is there something you wanna tell me?
Serena: Is that so obvious? Yes, actually that hair color is all wrong for you. (Serena's laughing.)
Eric: That's funny. (showing Serena his cell) this isn't.
Serena: I'm not pregnant.
Kati: Aw, cool.
Hazel: Celebratory drinks after school?
Serena: Sure, whatever.
(Rufus calls Bex as she's leaving the gallery)
Bex: (smiling) Hello.
Rufus: I never was good at following rules. (Bex looks back at him and smiles)
Serena: I need to know why you love me.
Dan: Because I do.
Serena: I really want to trust you when you say those words, Dan. So maybe if I knew why, I'd stop being so scared of hearing them and afraid to say them.
Dan: Okay. Well, if you want to talk about why...
Serena: It has to do with my mom and her many marriages.
Dan: There. That's why. Because I actually like it when you interrupt me, which is often, by the way. I love you because you make no apologies about being exactly who you are... Beautiful, smart, sexy as hell.
Serena: Now you're embarrassing me.
Dan: That's another reason. You're completely unaware of your affect on me. You're also completely unaware that you laugh like a 4-year-old.
Dan: Just like that. And I love you because you can be with someone like me and still be best friends with someone like Blair.
Serena: Yeah, well, I tried to be.
Dan: I know you do. And that's not easy, but you never give up on her. That is how amazing you are.
Serena: Well, you're amazing too, for being able to say all of those things. You just are. And I love you. But I have to go.
Dan: What? What... what is it this time?
Serena: One of the many reasons you love me.
Blair: Hey, S. It's B. Two things. First... I'm sorry; About Dan, about the Gossip Girl blast, and about not telling you about Nate.
Blair: You were just so hard on me about Chuck. I didn't want to be judged for sleeping with them both.
Serena: I understand. Apology accepted.
Blair: That was fast. If I were you, I would've made me work for it a little bit harder.
Serena: Well, I think you've suffered enough.
Blair: And second thing...
Serena: Wait. That's already, like, three things.
Blair: I took the test. I'm not pregnant.
Serena: Aah! Oh my gosh! Are you kidding me?
Serena: Oh, I am so happy. I would have had no idea what to wear to a paternity hearing.
Blair: Clean slate?
Serena: Oh, clean slate. Oh, I'm so happy.
Blair: You're late.
Jenny: Yeah, I know. I had to drop some books off at the library. Sorry.
Blair: Would you do me a favor?
Blair: Move down a couple steps.
Jenny: You know, this whole hazing thing is getting a bit old, don't you think, B.?
Blair: First of all, the hazing stops when I say it stops. And for future reference, only my friends call me B.
Blair: What? You want a lift to JFK?
Serena: Your mom said you're going to Paris tonight.
Blair: She has a big mouth.
Serena: B., we're best friends. She was shocked I didn't know.
Blair: Well, now you do.
Serena: What I know is how you felt when I left without telling you.
Blair: Is there a reason you're here?
Serena: Stay. Don't let these things make you run away like it did me. Like it does everybody in our world.
Blair: Everything's horrible. My whole life is falling apart.
Serena: So rebuild it. You're a Waldorf, remember? People don't tell you who you are, you tell them. Stay and fight. I'll fight with you.
Blair: I'm so embarrassed. I'm so...
Serena: So, what? Start over. It can be done. I should know. We can get through this together.
Blair: (to the men loading the helicopter) Stop, guys! I'm going home.
Blair: I came to congratulate you in person. You ruined my relationship with Nate, Serena, all of my friends. Even little Jenny thinks she's too good for me. So, bravo! Just like you wanted. I have no one to turn to but you.
Chuck: Actually, you don't even have me.
Chuck: I'll try to be more succinct. You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful, delicate, and untouched. But now you're like one of the Arabians my father used to own; rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore. And I can't see why anyone else would.
Serena: I'm such an ass.
Eric: Let me guess. Dan?
Serena: He told me he loved me, and all I did was stand there like a stupid mute. I mean, why wouldn't I want to hear those words come out of his mouth? But it's like it made me trust him less, which is crazy. And even if he is lying about telling Jenny, even though I told him I didn't tell anyone, I should have come up with a better response to "I love you."
Eric: Not that I even know what you're talking about, but why would you think he was lying?
Serena: Because I'm the only one who knows and he's the only one I told.
Eric: Do you know how many times I listened in on your conversations when you thought I wasn't?
Serena: None, I hope.
Eric: You hoped wrong. I'm a little brother. It's what I do. And you don't have to be a genius to figure out the trust thing. Every time mom brought home someone who said I love you, they would end up getting married.
Serena: And then divorced. Didn't leave us with a strong sense of trust, huh?
Eric: But that's mom's issues; not ours. And Dan's not like those other guys.
Serena: Okay, this conversation has to end because you're getting dangerously close to being smarter than I am.
Serena: Did you tell Jenny about Blair and Chuck?
Dan: No! No, of course not.
Serena: But you're the only one I told.
Dan: And I didn't tell anybody.
Serena: How can I know that?
Dan: Because I gave you my word. Because I love you.
Dan: I love you. And not just because I thought you were pregnant. And I know how you love some random guy who picks up your Lit papers and girl who likes your hair.
Dan: Okay? The response is not okay. (walks away)
Blair: What are you doing here?
Jenny: I was just leaving.
Penelope: No, stay. Blair, given that you can barely manage your own messy affairs, surely you're not in a position to tell anyone where they can and can't eat.
Blair: Do you realize who you're talking to?
Hazel: You mean the self-righteous bitch, who always sat on her own high horse judging everyone else?
Penelope: Pregnant little hypocrite.
Blair: Not that it's any of your business, but I'm not pregnant.
Hazel: Nate must be thrilled.
Penelope: Chuck, too.
Blair: What are you talking about?
Hazel: The whole school saw them throwing down over your cheap ass.
Penelope: The boyfriend and the best friend? Pretty classy. Consider yourself dethroned, Queen B.
Serena: Hey, B. What's up?
Blair: I can't believe you told Jenny about me and Chuck.
Serena: What? I didn't.
Blair: Because of her, everybody knows the intimate details of my private life. And now Nate's not speaking to me.
Serena: But I told you, B. I didn't tell Jenny. I don't know how she found out.
Blair: Did you tell Dan?
Blair: You did. You told your low-rent boyfriend and he told his social climbing sister, who wears my hand-me downs, and she blabbed to Nate.
Serena: I can't believe you're attacking Dan and Jenny.
Blair: Did you or did you not tell him?
Serena: I did. But only because you weren't dealing with it, and I wanted advice on how to help you.
Blair: I can't believe you don't get it. The world is different for the Serena van der Woodsens of the world. People expect you to party and be wild, sleep with whoever you want, run away, come back...
Serena: Wait, are we really going back there?
Blair: You shot your reputation to hell a long time ago. It doesn't matter what you do. But I'm a Waldorf!
Serena: Since you and your reputation obviously don't need me and my low-rent taste, you and the Waldorf name can weather this storm alone. (walks away)
Blair: (to herself) With pleasure.
Nate: What are you doing here?
Blair: Your mom let me in.
Nate: I didn't ask how you got in, I asked why you're here.
Blair: To talk. About us.
Nate: There is no us, Blair.
Blair: Yes, there is. We finally really have a chance to start over.
Nate: You know, all this time I felt so bad for everything I've done. And when you said you wanted to leave the past in the past, I didn't know we were talking about your past.
Blair: You had just broken my heart. I made a decision I was in no condition to make.
Nate: But you're clear-headed now, right?
Nate: So, you understand perfectly when I say I want nothing else to do with you, Blair. You and Chuck deserve each other.
Blair: You know Chuck would say anything, twist the truth.
Nate: Jenny wouldn't.
Nate: Don't go blaming any of this on her, Blair. I would have found out eventually. I said I'm done. Over. Now, would you, please, leave? (Blair just looks at him) Fine. Stay as long as you like. I'll leave.
Chuck: Yes, Nathaniel! I took what Blair kept throwing at you and you kept throwing back.
Nate: So, somehow you screwing Blair as a sport is my fault!?
Chuck: It wasn't for sport! She needed someone and I was there.
Nate: Oh, so you cared about her?
Chuck: You guys were broken up.
Nate: How long? A week? An hour?
Chuck: Look, I'm sorry. But I know how long you and I have been best friends, okay?
Nate: No, it's not okay, Chuck. From now on, you stay away from me.
Nate: Did you hear what I said? You stay the hell away from me, Chuck!
Chuck: (looking around at the people watching them) Show's over!
Gossip Girl: (last lines) One good scandal deserves another. Wonder who's going down next? Everyone, if B has anything to say about it.
Blair: I'm not pregnant. I command myself to not be pregnant.
Eleanor: You all right?
Blair: Never been better.
Eleanor: Well, Serena has. What's wrong?
Blair: I don't know. I can't be held responsible for her mood swings.
Eleanor: Were you arguing about the possibility that your condition may have returned.
Blair: No. It hasn't.
Eleanor: I heard you the other day in your bathroom with the water running.
Blair: I'm very stressed. And with you and Serena down my throat I can hardly see straight, never mind keep food down.
Eleanor: Maybe you just need to take a little break. Visit your father? Leon is beautiful this time of year.
Blair: Maybe this summer.
Eleanor: Summer? Sounds great. Finish your breakfast.
Dorota: Good morning, Miss Serena.
Serena: Anybody notice the weather, today?
Serena: Take a look outside, B. My first response would be that the sky is a clear blue, easy.
Blair: Dorota, you may be excused now.
Serena: (after Dorota left) I can't believe you didn't tell me about you and Nate.
Blair: What did he say?
Serena: Nothing. Chuck did. When I went to see him because I thought maybe he could talk some sense into you.
Blair: You had no right to do that.
Serena: I was trying to help you, B. I took a public bullet for you. Let another rumor about me run rampant. The whole school heard, even Dan.
Eleanor: (entering the room) What's going on?
Serena: Ask Blair. Her version of the story is always better.
Serena: There's no moving on just yet. The pregnancy test wasn't for me, it was for Blair.
Serena: She won't take it. So, given that if she's pregnant and you're the father...
Chuck: No! We used a condom.
Serena: Well, obviously it broke.
Chuck: What's obvious is that your best friend has kept you in dark.
Serena: What are you talking about?
Chuck: I handle my business. Apparently, Nate doesn't. They slept together just after we did. It's him you should be asking for help.
Serena: Hi, Chuck.
Chuck: Please, call me brother.
Serena: I need to talk to you.
Chuck: About getting knocked up? I must say I was a little disappointed you weren't more careful.
Dan: Well, let's try this. Why don't you tell me what's on your mind. Then it can be on our minds. And our minds can worry about what's on your mind... together.
Serena: I have no idea what you just said.
Dan: I don't know what I said, either. But what I'm saying now is... talk to me.
Serena: I never thought I was pregnant. The test was for Blair.
Dan: Wait, wait. I'm confused. She just got back together with Nate.
(Serena gives him a look)
Dan: Oh, then who?
Dan: Chuck? And Blair? Blair and Chuck? Then why isn't he the one buying the test?
Dan: Because he's an ass.
Serena: Who doesn't know.
Dan: Why not? I mean, there's no love lost between me and Chuck Bass, but I gotta believe he deserves to know.
Serena: He does have this weird influence over her. Maybe he could talk her into taking the test. (sighs) It's just I'm so worried about her.
Dan: Come here. (hugs her)
Jenny: Well, I've never seen you give up so easily.
Dan: Can you not start with me?
Jenny: Can you not be so easy to start with? Why are you taking his advice? He's old and alone.
Jenny: Tell Serena again. Without the pregnancy scare in a quiet, no distractions kind of way. But, then again, what do I know about romance, friends or anything else?
Dan: No, no. Actually, Jen, that's a very good idea.
Jenny: Oh right. What would you do without me?
Dan: Promise me I will find out one day?
Serena: Did you get my text?
Blair: Of course. Yes, I did.
Serena: So, you know that I told Dan I'm not pregnant.
Blair: Yes. And I'm so happy for you. Close call, huh?
Serena: Are we really gonna play that old game, B?
Blair: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Serena: Whenever something happens that is not part of your plan, you pretend like it doesn't exist. You act like you're in this movie about your perfect life. Then I have to remind you the only one watching that movie is you. You admitted that your period was late.
Blair: Yes! I've been very stressed. I had that chem test on Friday.
Serena: And you're acting like a total bitch because you're not hormonal?
Blair: Maybe I am a total bitch. Did you ever think about that?
Serena: Just take the test, B. (handing her a pregnancy test box)
Blair: Stop it.
Serena: Just take the test. We need to know if you and Chuck are gonna have a baby.
Gossip Girl: And for a scandal to really blow up, all it needs is an unexpected turn.
Random Student: (mockingly) Hey, Mom.
Serena: Yes! I'm pregnant and it's yours!
Gossip Girl: What's the difference between gossip and scandal? So glad you asked, UES Forever. Anyone can commit a minor indiscretion and generate a day's worth of buzz, but in order for gossip to birth a true scandal it requires the right person to be in the wrong place. Take one "it" girl on a pedestal, add a crowd eager to see her fall, and give them the means to knock her down.
Blair: (passes Chuck, smoking a cigarette) Oh, don't stop on my account.
Chuck: Oh I had to, second hand smoke is bad for the uh...
Blair: I'm not pregnant. So goodbye mistake, so far in my past I can hardly remember it.
Chuck: You cannot be serious (touches Blair's stomach)
Blair: You can't be touching me. Look, if you were going to tell Nate, you would have done so in Monaco but you don't want him to hate you. Game over.
Chuck: Game's not over until I say it is.
Blair: Then have fun playing with yourself.
Gossip Girl: Looks like the Virgin Queen isn't as pure as she pretended to be. Who's your Daddy, B? Baby Daddy that is? Two guys in one week? Talk about doing the nasty, or should I just say being nasty.
Serena: (to Blair) Like you said, you're a Waldorf. You don't let people tell you who you are, you show them.
(Blair has just been 'dethroned')
Blair: Jenny! It is highly unlikely that I will ever forgive you for going to Nate, but if you walk away from me now...I will also ruin you.
Jenny: How are you going to do that?
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Skandál (Scandal)
Original International Air Dates:
India: February 1, 2008 on Zee Cafe
Norway: March 26, 2008 on TVNorge
Latin America: April 3, 2008 on Warner Channel
Philippines: May 27, 2008 on ETC
Sweden: June 17, 2008 on Kanal 5
Poland: July 1, 2008 on TVN7
The Netherlands: July 29, 2008 on Net 5
Turkey: December 9, 2008 on CNBC-E
Greece: December 13, 2008 on Star
Denmark: February 2, 2009 on Kanal 4
Slovakia: January 11, 2009 on Markiza
Hungary: March 22, 2009 on Cool TV
Czech Republic: December 12, 2009 on Prima
Music Featured in this episode:
- "Got Ur Number" by Nadia Oh
- "The Dark Side Of Indoor Track Meets" by Falling Up
- "You'll Change" by Machine Translations
- "Where There's Gold" by Dashboard Confessional
- "The Air We Breathe" by Figurines
- "Goodbye" by Dan Cray Trio
- "Happily Never After" by Nicole Scherzinger
Although she is credited, Kelly Rutherford (Lily) does not appear in this episode.
Episode Title: A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate
This refers to the 1971 R&B hit song "A Thin Line Between Love and Hate" made famous by The Persuaders.
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