Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 16

Serena: What are you guys doing?
Blair: Don't talk to them. They're working. REFRESH!

Dan: Ah, thank you my friend to see you. Serena and, we moved up with our parents before we got here, and it went from Family Ties to Fockner in one cocktail fleck.

Lily: Did you really try to buy anthrax with his credit card?
Chuck: The black market isn't what it used to be.
Lily: And you got him on Megan's list?
Chuck: If only his apartment were few blocks closer to the playground..
Lily: Look, I understand why you try to do these things, but we have got to do something that is not illegal.

Roman: It's all the color of Yale. You see?
Blair: That's just what I need to perk me up. I couldn't sleep a wink.
Roman: We know. We heard you watching "Gilmore Girls" all night. Again.
Blair: Oh. I am so better fit for Yale than this Rory.

Gossip Girl: (closing voiceover) Some endings take a long time to reveal themselves. But when they do, they're almost too easy to ignore. Some beginnings start so quietly, you don't even notice they're happening. But most endings come when you least expect them. And what they portend is darker than you've ever imagined. Not all beginnings are cause for celebration. A lot of bad things begin, fights, flu season and the worst thing of all... Want to be starting something? XOXO. Gossip Girl.

Miss Queller: (to Blair) I've called you here this morning because Miss Carr told me what you did. You leave me no choice but to give you detention. Yale has been notified, your acceptance has been placed on hold. If you complete detention to my satisfaction, Yale will still be possible. But if you do not...

Blair: (on the phone) What are you doing?
Serena: I'm just reading the Brown catalog. Oh and I ordered a home dreadlocking kit. Want to meet up later?
Blair: Definitely. Maybe we can get a jump-start on your veganism.

Gossip Girl: The thing about new beginnings is that they require something elso to end.

Rufus: (to Dan) I just had a full conversation with this opera-goer about 'The Magic Flute'. And he pretended like that was exactly what he just watched. I'm beginning to get these society people. It's all a big game pretending you know what you're talking about.

Gossip Girl: Sticks and stones may break bones, but a poison pen is the best revenge.

Jack: (to Lily) Who's your lucky escort this evening? Someone you picked up at the funeral?

Gossip Girl: Spotted, B hot for teacher. Too bad Miss Carr doesn't remember the devil is in the details.

Penelope: (to Blair) The Devil would say you're already in Yale. You have security, now more than ever you can do what you want.
Isabel: And an angel would say, all the more reason to not to. You have what you want.
Penelope: You don't have a perfect transcript.
Isabel: But you don't need one. You're in. Ugh! I hate having to play the angel.
Penelope: I know, the Devil is so much better.

Penelope: A new teacher is like a child. It has to be taught.
Hazel: And spanked.

Serena: I know that look. You're up to no good.
Blair: Good is subjective. If you don't believe me, you can look it up.

Chuck: (to Lily) You say you want to be family. But if you really meant it, you wouldn't parade your mistress in public. You'd have some tact, some respect.

Chuck: (to Lily) I can't believe you. You're actually going to take your half-price hustler out on the town tonight.

Chuck: If your people don't come up with anything, maybe we can try number 26.
Lily: (reading) Crash Jack in plane. The Bass jet is kind of expensive, Charles.
Chuck: There's insurance.

Lily: (talking about Jack) The bastard is untouchable.
Chuck: What shall we do?
Lily: Time to get dirty. I'm all yours.
Chuck: Let me educate you.

Blair: (talking about her assignment) This is a B.
Miss Carr: Yes. It is.
Blair: You're new here so you don't know how it works.
Miss Carr: I have a feeling you're about to explain.
Blair: Second semester seniors get a free pass, like pregnant ladies or 14-year-old Chinese gymnasts. Constance wants their students to get into the best colleges. That's why this free pass exists. The headmistress, if she knew about this grade, she'd rap you on the wrist.
Miss Carr: Maybe, in time, I'll get in trouble for not inflating grades like everyone else, Miss Waldorf, but until then, I'll give them based on merit.

Blair: Witch hunts are my Valium, Serena. I'm just trying to stay calm.

Miss Queller: When I spoke to Dean Barrowby this morning, he assured me that if the student they've accepted turns them down, you are next in line.
Blair: Dan Humphrey. He's like a cafeteria lady who won the lottery. You couldn't pry that acceptance from his hands with the jaws of life.
Miss Queller: I wasn't speaking about Mr. Humphrey.

Gossip Girl: They say it's not over until the fat lady sings. But who's that, here, turning up in the wings? Sorry, B. I think it's curtains.

Nate: (talking about Vanessa) I saw a DVD of 'The Ring Cycle' at her house and I figured she might like some champagne in my family's box.
Dan: Yeah, that's good, that's good. Don't tell her you saw that DVD though, because I pointed it out once and she made me watch the whole thing with no sub-titles. If you've ever seen 'A Clockwork Orange' then you know how that ended up.
Nate: What's a clockwork orange?

Chuck: (on the phone) No I told you, under 18 and I want verification. I don't care where you have to import them from, I want them young and unstable.

Dan: Yale day. I thought we could walk to school together for support. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. I'll end up in the right place. But what if I don't get in?
Serena: Forget you. What if I do and Blair doesn't?
Dan: Fire and brimstone. A lot of bitchy asides. Death by Dorota.

Gossip Girl: (opening voiceover) True love and betrayal. Revenge and more revenge. A heroine with an impossible goal. If only Mozart had lived on the Upper East Side. But you can keep your magic flute, Amadeus. All this queen wants is a golden ticket to Yale.

Chuck: (talking to Lily) I'm trying to do something. I really wanted to do it on my own, but that's not working. I'm thinking you are the only person left that can help. (pause) What do you say?

Lily: Charles, I didn't expect to see you today!
Chuck: ..or ever, if it had may way.
Lily: Yes, well. I missed you too.

Blair: You look like a firing squad.
Harold: More like a "Welcoming Commitee". It's the big day.

(to Lily and Rufus)
Erik: I would say get a room but yours is right above mine. Please try to remember that.