Okay, Graceland, we need to talk about this episode title, because "Happy Endings" was neither happy nor an ending, and if it was meant to convey the orgasmic joy we'd all get from partaking of the latest Mike and Briggs Comedic Angst Hour, I'm gonna have to report back that while Graceland's penultimate Season 1 episode was very good, there was no quivering in my loins to be found.
And now that we're all left with that image of questionable taste, let's talk about what was awesome, because there was some awesome. In fact, 99.9 percent of "Happy Endings" continued Graceland's fine tradition of being intense and crazy and... well... awesome.
Still reeling from the unfortunate conclusion to DJ's fabulous strippers-and-bouncy-castle birthday party, Johnny made Death Star pancakes (<3 him) and quietly moped about how everyone hates each other these days and oh look, Charlie is getting snuggly with a Federale. Their confrontation about Charlie's new BFF basically amounted to:
"NO ONE AT HOME GETS ME!!!"
Since Johnny's endgame is basically to be besties with everyone in the house at pretty much any cost, he went along with Charlie's plan to invite Jangles on her latest Heroin Kate adventure. There was some token grumbling, but Johnny ultimately sat in the car like a good puppy and let Charlie smack the crap out of Whatsisface for that time he let Whistler OD in his gross frat-boy bathroom. (Sorry, frat boys.) Now, to be fair, I have encountered some very nice fraternity potties in my day... but the vast majority made me cry and rethink my life choices.
Also up for re-evaluating life: DJ! Hi, DJ. Welcome! Welcome!
It turns out that DJ and Briggs go way back. We've never been given any inkling of this before, but whatever, I was so excited to see DJ doing something besides being bitter that I happily hand-waved it (though the randomness of their sudden closeness is definitely part of that percentage of a percent that prevents "Happy Endings" from being OMG BEST THING EVER OMG). It was a random revelation, but not an episode-ruiner for me. If you disagree, please feel free to sound off below. I know that sometimes I get bent out of shape over plot points that no one else has a problem with, and I'm always curious to see when that's inverted.
So DJ and Briggs went to the site of the former Estate to find Juan's car and the supposed recording that supposedly implicates Briggs in Juan's murder. Unfortunately, the car was stolen because of course it was and unfortunately, Mike and Paige were also looking for the car and the recording so that they could clear Briggs' name. Aw, they're cute. Briggs and Mike teamed up and Mike, proving that he really had learned a thing or two from his mentor, whether he was supposed to or not, struck first and cuffed Briggs in the middle of their mission so that he wouldn't interfere with Mike getting his paws on Juan's recorder.
You know, if Juan's recorder had actually been in the car.
I mean seriously, the car had been stolen. By car thieves. If you've worked up to stealing cars, you're probably okay with stealing other stuff too. Like the stuff in the cars that you steal. That recorder was pawned last week for beer money. Duh.
The damage—or at least more of it—was already done, though. Briggs grabbed his secret drug money nest egg and bailed. Mike looked like a doofus with no recorder (Can I get a Simpsons-esque "HA HA?"), and Jangles is still on the prowl because of Charlie's Charlie-ness. Better ice those knuckles, girl, we've still got a week left in Crazytown.
Are you still watching? What do you think will happen in next week's finale?
– The Charile/Jangles montage was unintentionally hilarious. I think it would have been more amazing if Charlie was a girly girl lady-spy a la Sarah Walker (Chuck), but lipstick versus bone saw was still pretty great.
– WHERE'S THE
MONEY RECORDER, LEBOWSKI?
– I love that even though Briggs and DJ are surprise Best Friends Forever, DJ still doesn't take Briggs' bullshit and doesn't settle for his crappy vague answers. Use small words and a firm voice, Boo.
– Lol @ Mike getting all weirded out about Paige being pretend preggers for the mission. Seriously, the dude masqueraded as a crooked Marine and actually got people killed and he squirms at the sight of a plastic preggo belly? Shut up, Mike. Even if his real issue was with Paige lying to Clayton's mom about her delicate condition... MIKE'S MISSION ENDED LIVES. DISCUSSION OVER.