Greek

Casey is done chasing after men. Even though the Omega Chis are throwing a huge six-way bash, she's going to be chill about all the Grade-A prime frat boys who'll be there. She's just going to think happy thoughts and see what the universe brings her.

As Casey contemplates what will make her happy, the house runs out of hot water, right in the middle of Rebecca's shower. Chalk up one for karma. It sure works in mysterious ways, doesn't it?

Now, karma has nothing to do with locking up Cinderella -- a.k.a. Rebecca -- and all the other pledges on the night of the Omega Chi party. That cruel and inhumane act is pure Casey. What did Rebecca and the pledges do to deserve the lockdown? They wanted to go to the rival Kappa Tau party, but there's no way Casey is going risk offending the Omegas by letting some first-years hang with Cappie and the boys. So, she makes Rebecca and the girls stay home to be Sober Sisters for all the partiers.

Not that Rebecca is going to miss much. The Kappas are digging nickels out of couches to scrape together keg money. They're in such dire straits they're making jello shots without vodka ... wait, can you REALLY make jello with water? But Cappie is determined to throw a party. It's been his life's dream, ever since Evan told him the Kappas weren't invited to the Omega Chi bash.

Of course, the real reason the Omega Chis are having a big bash is so Evan can have one more devious little shot at winning Casey back. His plan tonight: force Calvin to run off every man that comes near Casey. Calvin's not so into the idea because: 1. It's not going to work, and 2. Calvin's boyfriend Michael is coming to the party. Calvin's gay French-T.A. boyfriend is coming to an Omega Chi party? Wow. This guy must really love Calvin.

But Evan isn't asking Calvin for help. He's telling a pledge to do his bidding, and Calvin tries to keep karma from delivering a man to Casey. He pulls it off with the first two guys who chat her up, but when Calvin tries running off a hunky pre-med student that Casey likes, she tells Calvin to stop. Casey has had her eye on Ryan forever, and she just found out that he broke up with his girlfriend -- yay, universe! -- and there's no way Calvin is going to wedge him away from her.

Meanwhile, the Kappas' last keg is bone dry and the party is DOA. But does Cappie give up? No way. He and the boys infiltrate the Omega Chi party, pose as bartenders and busboys and harvest every drop of liquor they can find. Seriously, these boys are scooping up half-empty drink cups and rooting in the trash.

But the booze jumpstarts the Kappa Party, and by the time Rebecca talks the other pledges into bailing on Sober Sister duty, the Kappa house is raging.

Back at the Omega house, Casey and Ryan are getting closer and closer. Ryan was nervous about talking to Casey -- he had always sorta fantasized about dating her, even when he was with ex. He did? No way! So did Casey! Evan can't bear to watch it. It's enough to drive a man to drink.

And you now what happens when Evan drinks, right? Frannie sits down to give him a pep talk and a little advice: Stop trying to get the girl everyone in the room is looking at -- Casey -- and find the one girl who thinks he's the only guy in the room. That would be ... Frannie, right?

Michael is very uncomfortable at the frat party. Is it because Calvin's been too busy chasing men away from Casey? No, but that doesn't help. Is it the frat guys? They're really not that homophobic. NO, it's not that. He's just feeling ... old. He's a grad student. He was in middle school when Calvin was born. But Calvin doesn't care, and he gives him a lusty, steamy kiss to prove it.

Casey and Ryan are inches from a kiss too, when a drunk Zeta Beta named Betsy stumbles in between them. Casey tries to call Rebecca to come and get their drunk sister, but Rebecca is too busy partying to answer. So Casey --ever the martyr -- leaves Ryan to take Betsy home.

Except Casey doesn't take her home. She takes her to the Kappa house and dumps her on Rebecca. Well, she tries to, but why should Rebecca have to suffer so Casey can get back to her really cute guy? This gives Casey a nice opportunity for a nasty crack about Rebecca ruining Casey's love life.

Casey takes poor, drunk Betsy home, and guess who is waiting for her at the ZBZ house? Ryan. He had a wonderful time. He goes in for little kiss (not bad), then another (looking good), then ... OMG is he trying to EAT her? It's like he's trying to lick her kidneys. Oh well, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. Just make sure the next one doesn't try to eat you.

Rusty has a great, if tiny, story this week about the fallout from last week's Tina encounter. Now, all she wants is sex. Not talking, not dating, just sex, and Rusty doesn't think he likes it. Cappie thinks he's nuts -- it's the perfect relationship -- but Rusty decides he has to break it off. But how?

Beaver helps Rusty role-play a Dear Tina phone call. The Beav's performance as a jilted girlfriend is Emmy-worthy. But Rusty doesn't have the guts even though Tina keeps calling and calling and calling. How is he going to dump her? Email? Nah. Face-to-face? No way. Heath -- Calvin's old flame -- has an idea: text her. He grabs Rusty's phone and texts: "ur gr8 ljbf." That'd be: "You're great. Let's just be friends."

There, Rusty's free! Except BING! Tina texts him back: "Rusty, thanks for letting me know. BTW I have crabs."

Isn't technology wonderful?