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Calvin: What is she doing with him? She must like guys with personality.
Dale: I don't know. He doesn't look that hideous to me.
Calvin: Oh! So you find him attractive?
Dale: Well, his got good bone structure.
Calvin: Wait! It all makes sense!
Dale: What?
Calvin: Oh, Dale. Have you ever thought that the reason you're trying to turn me straight is because, deep down inside, you might be gay?
Dale: That's ridiculous...
Calvin: Just look at the evidence: you don't have sex with women, you like to knit, you appreciate the male form... and I've seen you run, it's a little bit squishy.
Dale: I don't like what you're implying!
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Dale: Rusty, I'm not Satan's joystick.
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Rebecca: Aren't those the same clothes you were wearing last night?
Lizzi: Casey? I'm concerned.
Casey: Me too. About the environment. That's why I wear all my outfits twice before washing them. Water is the earth's most precious gift!
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Cappie: Speaking of kittens, I saw this video on YouTube with this kitten that wouldn't stop sucking this guy's nipple.
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Casey: (about Ashleigh's date) So is he French?
Ashleigh: He sure kisses that way.
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Dale: (to Rusty) Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the Lord today.
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Dale: (to Calvin) Hey, how you feelin'? Any less gay today?
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Rebecca: (about Casey) She was nice... to me.
Cappie: (sarcastically) Un-freakin' believable.
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Cappie: (to pledges): It's your turn to write a chapter in the Kappa Tau pledge book. Preferably one with lots of pictures, for those of us who doesn't care for reading the text.
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(Girl runs past Rusty and the other pledges)
Rusty: Hey, nice taillights!
Casey: (Casey turns around and sees Rusty) Rusty?
Rusty: Oh my God, that's my sister.
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Cappie: Seeing me with someone else is driving you insane?
Casey: No seeing you with her [Rebecca] is.
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Casey: You're not in college?
Jonah: No, but I'm in AP Calculus.
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Jonah: (as Casey is leaving) Can I call you?
Casey: In five years.
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Casey: I need a date.
Ashleigh: I thought your weren't dating.
Casey It's not dating, its a defensive maneuver.
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Casey: (to Rusty when he comes to her for help) Okay, have a seat on your thrown, Drama Queen.