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Girl: I'm over 21, Casey.
Casey: Beer is high in carbs and it makes you bloat. I'm doing you a favor.
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Rebecca: What did you do to him?
Helga: You know the rules Miss Logan, what happens in Cappie's room, stays in Cappie's room.
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Frannie: (after Evan kisses her) I'm not interested in being anyone's warm body.
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Casey: (stamping Rebecca as under 21) Enjoy your soda!
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Evan: You're the ZBZ Party Patrol?
Casey: Yeah, that's me. Your guy hasn't shown up yet.
Evan: Uh, yeah, he has. It's me.
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Tina: (to Rusty) Any message? Something short and limp?
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Dale: (about Tina) I'm just not intimidated by strong women, Rusty.
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Cappie: Wait what, uh, what's under the white coat, doc?
Rebecca: Oh, it's nothing that should be seen through crust.
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Rusty: That was a complete disaster.
Dale: Are you kidding? That was great, that Tina was a real spit-fire.
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Emma: So how are you liking American Lit?
Rusty: Honestly, I'm finding Moby Dick pretty long and kind of stiff.
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Dale: She wants to bring her roommate along on our date.
Dale: That can't be a good sign.
Rusty: If she didn't want to be alone with me why didn't she just break the date?
Dale: Pity can be a pretty powerful emotion.
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Casey: (to Rebecca) You know, when Cappie and I were together I always took care of him when he was sick, but he's probably not even thinking about that right now, maybe you could just send him a nice warm E-card, I'm sure it'd mean a lot to him.