Greek

Cappie: (as Keanu Reeves circa "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure") Prometheus: a most historic Greek god dude who journeyed on a most excellent quest to bring fire to mankind only to incur the wrath of the odious Zeus who chained the dude on yonder mountaintop while an eagle egregiously scarfed the dude's liver up for, like, infinity. (pause) Yeah, I full-on read Campbell's book. Casey: Since this morning? That's impossible. Cappie: A most bodacious masterpiece with many pages in which I forgoed an afternoon of non-bogus fun.

Rusty: (To Cappie) Casey got lavaliered by Evan. Casey: That's supposed to be a secret! Rusty: Then why did you tell me? Casey: Good question.

Rusty: Dale you gotta be careful drinking all that caffeine. Dale: No, my resting heart rate is… 145, that's well within' tolerance. Rusty: Yea, for a humming bird!

Cappie: You pick the hand with the jellybean in it, you go back to your dorm with a burst of fresh blueberry flavor. No questions asked. You take the other one, and you get to see how deep the rabbit hole goes. Rusty: The rabbit hole?

Rusty: So with everyone cheating is it still really cheating if you cheat?

Rusty: I spent all last night trying to learn five brain cramping chapters of physics. My brain's fried, because of all I studied last night, I forgot what I learned three weeks ago.

(Talking about Ashleigh) Cappie: My point is, maybe she's finally becoming the person she was meant to be. Casey: If that's the case, she'd be better not growing up at all. Cappie: I could not agree with you more! Especially if growing up turns you into someone your not. Someone pretentious, boring… pie less.

Dale: (Talking about Harvel who passed out during his and Dale's study session) He has a medical condition, that's what he told me. Rusty: I think Harvel just needs to sleep it off Dale. Dale: No! Harvel needs to tutor me! So, I need to find him drugs, any drugs, it's as simple as that. Alright, I need drugs, whose got em'?

Casey: Don't tell me, your arranging a Kappa Tau midterm party? Cappie: Better! A midterm barbeque!

Rusty: Do you have a moment to talk? Dr. Hastings: We are talking. We're also walking, thanks to my superior ability to multi-task. Rusty: Good one sir.

Frannie: Ok, it's time for our anonymous someone to reveal herself by blowing out the candle... Once around - friendship, twice - lavalier, three times - pinning, four times - engagement... Jen K.: What's five times? Frannie: Murder!... Kidding!

Rusty: Beav seems pretty happy... Cappie: He got so excited about his History mid-term, he went online last night and discovered that JFK wasn't just an airport... Rusty: And that La Guardia was a Mayor? Cappie: No one appreciates a show off, Spitter... Rusty: Sorry...

Casey: You can't be my partner, you've only been to two classes! Cappie: Uh, three including today.

Casey: I thought you dropped this class! Cappie: So did I.

Cappie: (To Rusty and Casey) Oh! Look at this! The Cartwright kids! You know, you two should band together and solve mysteries, fight crime! You've got the perfect name for it, there's a sketchy janitor who I think is up to something…

(Talking about Kappa Tau's midterm filing system) Rusty: Isn't this cheating? Cappie: Cheating? Would our esteemed professors continue to reuse the same test over and over, knowing that future students could easily recycle them?

Rusty: The game's rigged. Old tests, pay tutors for cramming, drugs. College isn't about learning; it's a four year course on how to get buy and beat the system. It's supposed to be the last passion for education, a place removed from society where you're inspired, not discouraged. A place where teachers teach and students learn.

Dale: Okay, I need drugs. Who's got them? I'm not a narc. I'm just-I'm just a guy in a bind.

Cappie: (to Casey) What's the harm in taking one little bite of an apple?

Ashleigh: (to Casey) I'm not good with secrets, I get all hive-y.

Ashleigh: (about Travis) He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Calvin: So you've said, five times.

Casey: I know where I want to be in 10 years, do you? Cappie: I want to be with you.