Green Acres

CBS (ended 1971)
  • Season 6
    • The Ex-Secretary
      Episode 26
      4/27/71
      6.6
      Oliver contacts Carol, his one-time secretary, to find out where she'd had his watch repaired years earlier. In this pilot for a proposed series, Carol now works for a California realtor. She prevents her current boss from being conned by man that Oliver Douglas had tried to indict back in New York.moreless
    • Hawaiian Honeymoon
      Episode 25
      3/16/71
      4.0

      Lisa cons Oliver into taking a fifth honeymoon together, this one in Hawaii. When they check into the honeymoon suite, they are unaware that the hotel manager's groovy daughter has already given her friends the suite. Since the suite has two bedrooms it's just a matter of both couples avoiding each other while on their honeymoons.

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    • 3/9/71
      6.7

      Oliver takes a night course in organic farming at the state college while Lisa studies psychology. After just three classes, everyone in Hooterville is running to "Doctor Lisa" to analyze their problems and give advice. Despite all of Oliver's bellyaching about her not being a doctor, she's soon "saved the life" of Hank Kimball, Sam Drucker, Arnold the Pig, and a quacking goat with an identity problem. Exasperated, Oliver has to make an appointment just to see his own wife.

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    • 3/2/71
      6.5

      Oliver's temporary fix on his dry-rotted front porch proves pointless when Kimball removes the new board and promptly falls through. After Lisa moves the injured patient their bedroom to recuperate, he blows non-stop on his kazoo whenever he wants something. Ralph Monroe shows up wearing in a nurse's uniform from a theater production to care for her "Hankie" and throw herself at him while he can't run away. Self-appointed "attorney" Haney tries to soak Oliver with a $50,000 lawsuit just before local farmers bring their livestock into the bedroom for Kimball's animal clinic. Oliver finally storms out in search of a saloon.

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    • 2/23/71
      7.2
      Ralph wants Hank to ask her to the Carpenter's Ball, but he comes up with feeble excuses to avoid going. Planning to get the two together at the event, Lisa asks Hank to be her date to the party. In no time, Hooterville is convinced that the Douglases' marriage is on the rocks and that Lisa and Hank are running off to Acapulco.moreless
    • A Girl for Drobny
      Episode 21
      2/16/71
      6.0
      Lisa concludes that Drobny, the duck she received from her uncle in Hungary, is lonesome. She invites Arnold over to play with him, but alas, the language barrier is too great to overcome. Lisa's next plan is get Drobny a girlfriend, so she talks Oliver into buying a female duck from Mr. Haney. Soon, love is in bloom for Drobny and Gertrude.moreless
    • King Oliver I
      Episode 20
      2/9/71
      7.5

      The governor declares the state bankrupt, shuts down most services, and raises taxes by 52%. Hothead Oliver demands the locals protest and, after hearing Lisa's story of how her father the king responded to a tax increase, secedes from the union. They blow up the bridge out of town and anoint Mr. Douglas as King Oliver I. Now in a panic, Governor Carstairs puts on his waders and comes to Hooterville for a summit with his royal highness.

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    • The Spot Remover
      Episode 19
      2/2/71
      8.4
      Lisa's Uncle Boris sends her a jar of his incredibly effective cleaning fluid. It removes stains from suit coats and rugs, not to mention green from toupees. Seeing dollar signs, Haney sneaks a sample and has it analyzed; the secret formula ends up being a magical recipe for cabbage soup.
    • Star Witness
      Episode 18
      1/26/71
      9.4
      While in Pixley with the Douglases, Arnold witnesses a hold-up of the Pixley Bank. With his voice gone from squealing, a hoarse Arnold is unable to describe the crooks to the sheriff. The robbers learn that one Arnold Ziffel can identify them, so they come to the Douglas farm to silence him for good. They mistakenly kidnap Eb, not realizing that it was a pig who saw the whole thing.moreless
    • The Wedding Deal
      Episode 17
      1/19/71
      7.7
      With just two weeks until their wedding, Eb and Darlene still don't have a location for the ceremony. Mr. Haney's first suggestion, to have it for free at a car wash, doesn't wash. His second scheme, which comes complete with a household of furniture, gets Eb's signature on the dotted line. Darlene's father, however, refuses to let her get married on television in a furniture emporium's front window.moreless
    • Son of Drobny
      Episode 16
      1/12/71
      6.2
      Hooterville throws a celebration for the son of a war hero who Lisa claims delivered secret messages during WWII. Oliver tries to tell them that Drobny is just a "dumb duck" sent to them by Lisa's father, but they think he's just being a sorehead.
    • The Free Paint Job
      Episode 15
      1/5/71
      8.3
      Oliver's happy to let a paint company put a fresh coat on the house as an advertising stunt. But to everyone's surprise, the wood is so porous, it sucks up the paint as quickly as it's applied. In the kitchen, Lisa is taking three weeks to practice cooking spaghetti and meatballs for Oliver's birthday.moreless
    • 12/29/70
      8.0
      Eb is sent packing when Darlene's dad learns he proposed to is daughter with a watch fob instead of a ring. Lisa gives Eb the $2000 ring Oliver used to get engaged to her and everyone is happy--until the father has the ring appraised.
    • 12/22/70
      5.0
      Oliver won't take Lisa to New York for a big party, but the issue isn't over. She conspires with Eb to invent new invisible friends, hoping the scheme will end with a trip to the city to visit a psychiatrist.
    • 12/15/70
      7.5
      After Lisa hears a women's liberation speaker, she demands that Oliver share the household chores while she runs the farm. While he meets with nothing but red tape while trying to build a tool shed, Lisa gets the permit and completes the building with ease. A skeptical Oliver is in disbelief that his wife is so successful at "men's work".moreless
    • 12/8/70
      8.1
      Wanting a better paying career, Eb enters the accounting program of a correspondence school. When they mistakenly enroll him in their acting course, Eb believes it's destiny calling. Despite a disastrous attempt at makeup, he studies by dramatizing everyday events; a boring meal becomes dinner with King Louis XIV with Lisa as his serving "wrench".moreless
    • Oliver's Double
      Episode 10
      12/1/70
      9.4
      A bank robber hiding out in Pixley is an Oliver Douglas look-alike. When Eb spots the crook kissing his moll, he accuses Oliver of cheating on "Mom". Things get more confusing when Oliver's hauled in on suspicion of being the holdup man.
    • Enterprising Eb
      Episode 9
      11/24/70
      7.5
      Eb learns that $538 is not enough to build a house on the two acres the Douglases gave to him and Darlene. His schemes to raise a down payment include turning the Douglas farm into a bed and breakfast, a dump, and a trailer camp.
    • 11/17/70
      9.0
      Oliver has his first good apple crop, but the valley has no pickers. He suggests the farmers take turns picking each others' crops, but by the time they get to him, they're worn out. Compounding his problems, Lisa's driving lessons include an unplanned wreck with a sheriff's car.
    • 11/10/70
      8.5
      The new schoolteacher, Carol, arrives in Hooterville and Eb is in love. He'd asked his current girlfriend, Darlene, to the dance weeks earlier, but now wants to go with Carol. After seeking and ignoring advice from Oliver, Eb listens to Mr. Haney and tells Darlene that he has a wife in Racine, Wisconsin. Darlene's father, angry over this little revelation, takes his displeasure out on Oliver's nose.moreless
    • 10/27/70
      8.1
      Mayorial candidate Oliver Douglas faces an opponent when the Hooterville women nominate Lisa to run. While the men plot to improve Oliver's image, Ralph Monroe wages a campaign of dirty tricks against him that includes hotscake batter in his hat and an appearance by Lady Godiva.
    • 10/20/70
      9.3
      After saying good-bye to Lori at the airport, a distraught Lisa seeks a job to fill her days. When Haney spots her applying at the County Welfare office, he assumes she's there for the free soup. Soon, Hooterville's convinced "dumb dumb" Oliver has lost his money and sent his wife out to find a job.moreless
    • 10/6/70
      5.7
      Lisa tells Lori yet another version of how she and Oliver met. In this one, she was living in a Paris apartment with her father, the deposed King of Hungary. While he was plotting his return to power, Lisa was working as a waitress at a sidewalk cafe when Oliver stopped by for six bottles of champagne. The King wants her to marry a baron who will bankroll his army, but Lisa loves poor American Oliver Douglas.moreless
    • Jealousy
      Episode 3
      9/29/70
      7.7

      Eb won't stop badgering "Dad" to buy him a car, though an increasingly irritated Oliver keeps saying no. Meanwhile, Lisa is busy lavishing gifts on little Lori. Feeling he's been replaced in the Douglas family, a dejected Eb runs away to find a new job. He stops by Drucker's store just long enough to tell Sam how Oliver keeps him locked in leg irons and lost his $4000 on a drunken gambling spree in Las Vegas. Eb quickly returns home to discover Oliver isn't the monster he's been claiming.

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    • 9/22/70
      6.6

      Lori, the little girl who missed the train back to the city, is staying with the Douglases. Lisa's plan to introduce her to the local children by having a party and gets out of hand; the festivities grow to include an elephant and Haney giving biplane rides. While Oliver fights to downsize her event, he searches for a replacement part for his ancient Hoyt-Clagwell tractor so he can begin planting.

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    • The City Kids
      Episode 1
      9/15/70
      6.3
      Four children from the city spend a week on the farm the Douglases. While Oliver teaches them to plant seeds and milk a cow, Lisa falls in love with the little girl of the group, Lori. The two bond over a batch of banana jelly.
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