Green Acres - Season 3

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CBS (ended 1971)

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jaynashvil

User Score: 5505

Episode Guide

  • 4/10/68
    8.2
    Oliver and Lisa chaperone Arnold to Hollywood for his screen test. Producer Boris Fedor isn't interested in the pig; he's just using him to pressure a greedy horse to come back to work. When the horse's agent balks, the publicity machine starts promoting Arnold as the studio's next big star. A stunned Oliver, who came along for laughs, can't believe what he's witnessing.moreless
  • 4/3/68
    8.2
    Arnold's performance as a British police dog in the Hooterville theater production of Who--the marquee wasn't big enough for Who Killed Jock Robin?--turns him into an overnight star. Lisa is so impressed, she arranges for an old friend to give him a Hollywood screen test. The Douglases are soon Tinseltown bound, escorting the hammy actor west for his big showbiz break.moreless
  • Instant Family
    Episode 28
    3/27/68
    6.4
    At Sam Drucker's store, Oliver and Lisa meet their new neighbor who's about to go into labor. After racing her to the hospital, Oliver arrives home to find Lisa's volunteered to keep the woman's four other children in their home. Oliver's nerves become frayed when he's forced to sleep in the barn with the boys and spend all day carrying the kids to and from school.moreless
  • The Rutabaga Story
    Episode 27
    3/20/68
    9.2

    It's planting season in Hooterville, but Oliver doesn't know what to grow. After testing the soil, he discovers Hooterville is perfect for growing rutabagas. The locals are overcome with rutabaga fever, going so far as to plan a "Rutabaga Bowl". To spread the word, Lisa is sent up in a hot air balloon to drop vegetables on people with the message "Eat Hooterville Rutabagas" written on them.

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  • The Hungarian Curse
    Episode 26
    3/13/68
    6.9
    The man who saved the life of Lisa's uncle moves in on the Douglases seeking repayment for his good deed. Lisa feels an obligation to help Lazlo, but Oliver is simply irritated by his constant money-grubbing. Oliver's also unfazed by Lazlo's threats to cast a Hungarian curse on him.
  • Oliver's Jaded Past
    Episode 25
    3/6/68
    8.6
    Lisa's long-awaited vacation to New York is not what she'd hoped for. She's none to thrilled hearing about Oliver's womanizing playboy days or all the wild parties they're invited to. When Oliver's offered a job with his old law firm, he's the Douglas who's tempted by the excitement of city life.moreless
  • Our Son, the Barber
    Episode 24
    2/28/68
    9.4
    Eb's latest career choice is that of a barber. He talks Oliver into paying his tuition to MIT, a mail-order barber college. Eb's sent a dummy head and hair to practice on and receives his grades by mailing the trimmed toupees back to the school. Lisa is excited about Eb's education while Oliver is irratated by all the hidden costs he keeps being asked to pay.moreless
  • The Spring Festival
    Episode 23
    2/21/68
    9.1
    Everyone in Hooterville, except Oliver, is overcome with spring fever; even Sam Drucker is wearing his spring toupee. Deciding to revive the Hooterville spring festival, Lisa visits the neighbors to drum up support. Meanwhile, Oliver tries to do his planting with Eb who can't understand how to work the automatic planter.moreless
  • 2/14/68
    7.0
    On learning that Lisa's mother is coming for a visit, the Hooterville residents go overboard in wanting to welcome the countess. Despite Oliver's protests that she's not royalty, they forge ahead anyway with plans for a parade and marching band.
  • Flight to Nowhere
    Episode 21
    2/7/68
    9.4
    The farmers of Hooterville sign up for a government-sponsored agriculture exchange program to Europe. When they realize the $300 cost for tickets is per person, not per plane-load, they decide to supply their own airplane with Oliver as their pilot.
  • 1/31/68
    9.6
    Arnold is opening an account at the Pixley Bank when two robbers make off with a bundle of cash and the pig's five dollars. The pair hides out at the Douglases' farm, taking Lisa, Oliver and Eb hostage. Arnold makes off with their bag of money and takes it to the authorities while the clueless criminals force Lisa to make hotcakes for them.moreless
  • Boy genius Dilly Watkins improves farm life for Douglases with his new electronic inventions. Besides the barn door opener that works when Eleanor moos at it, there's the television camera that sends pictures of the cow to the bedroom set. Oliver doesn't realize the camera is transmitting to all the sets in the valley, turning him into an overnight Nielsen sensation.moreless
  • 1/10/68
    8.7
    A young runaway turns up in the Douglas' barn but refuses tell them his real name. After Oliver reports the child to the police, the boy goes on the lam. When encountering other Hooterville residents, his aliases include Oliver Wendell Douglas, Jr., Fred Ziffel, Jr. Hank Kimball, Jr. and Sam Drucker, Jr.moreless
  • Not Guilty
    Episode 17
    1/3/68
    9.4
    Sam Drucker calls the law when he discover $300 is missing from his safe. With the investigation pointing only to Frank Nitti, Eb is finally charged when he shows up in a car he paid $300 for and can't recall who gave him the money to buy it.
  • Eb Returns
    Episode 16
    12/27/67
    8.9
    Eb is embarrassed to tell the Douglases that he was stood up at the altar and took his honeymoon trip alone. He begs an old girlfriend, Cynthia, to pose as his new bride just long enough to meet his "parents". She agrees if it won't take long since she has a big date to get ready for.moreless
  • No Trespassing
    Episode 15
    12/20/67
    8.9
    Oliver's crabby attitude leads everyone think he's about to snap from overwork. To help him relax, Lisa takes him on a picnic by the lake. That's where he runs into gun-totin' Ira Hatch, who hassles him about trespassing on his property. When he tells the locals about the old man, they declare Haney the winner of the "Oliver Douglas crack-up pool" because Ira had died 20 years earlier.moreless
  • 12/13/67
    9.6
    Alf and Ralph announce that they are finally going to finish the Douglases' bedroom, but the project stalls when the "brothers" beging fighting. Lisa hires Ralph as their maid and Oliver can't bring himself to fire her when he discovers she's a good cook.
  • Haney's New Image
    Episode 13
    11/29/67
    9.8

    Oliver gets the usual runaround from Haney when he complains about the ancient tractor he'd bought. But suddenly, it's a new, honest Haney who offers to buy back the tractor and the "dump" of a farm he sold Oliver. Coincidentally, he's just learned that the Douglas farm is in the path of a proposed new highway. Oliver's soon onto his scheme and decides to make the charlatan squirm.

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  • 11/22/67
    8.4
    Over Lisa's objections, Oliver plans on attending a farm symposium alone. To watch over her, he hires a charming young British man as a temporary farm hand. Determined to go along, Lisa plots to make Oliver so jealous of the handsome help that he wouldn't dare leave her behind.
  • 11/15/67
    9.7
    With Doris out of town, Fred looks after Arnold by himself. When Arnold sees an advertisement for free movies and ice cream, he goes to Pixley. Lisa is convinced he's been pig-napped, so they all go on a search that leads them to a packing house.
  • Das Lumpen
    Episode 10
    11/8/67
    6.8
    Lisa tells another version of how she and Oliver met during World War II. As a member of the Hungarian underground, she saved him from Nazis by hiding him in a barn and earned him a Purple Heart by poking him in the rump with a pitchfork. They saw each other again after the war when Lisa was a professional cello player.moreless
  • The Thing
    Episode 9
    11/1/67
    7.0
    Oliver is tired of paying storage for something neither he or Lisa can recall, so he has it shipped to Hooterville. Inside a giant crate is a genuine Stavinski birdbath that Lisa had bought years earlier for Oliver's birthday. The hideous collection of pipes and faucets leads Oliver to plot "the thing's" demise.moreless
  • Eb Elopes
    Episode 8
    10/25/67
    8.9

    The Douglases find a note from Eb saying he's eloped. While he's on his honeymoon, his cousin Walter will cover his duties. Unfortunately, Walter's experience is limited to bartending at the old Stankwell Falls Lounge. This leads to more destruction than usual on the farm and everyone thinking Oliver's opening a cocktail lounge.

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  • Oliver's reign as "El Presidente" of the phone company hits bottom when he hires a farm worker to be his operator. He pays Haney to take the business off his hands, but soon Hooterville is up in arms over the price-gouging Haney Phone Company.
  • 10/11/67
    8.3
    Irritated by complaints and about how much money he's losing, Oliver raises the rates at the Hooterville Phone Company. His top priority, however, is getting the Monroe brothers to connect his own phone inside the house. Meanwhile, Lisa discovers the magic of cooking dehydrated food.
  • 10/4/67
    8.1
    Oliver's without an operator on his first day as president of the Hooterville Phone Company. As he wrestles with an exploding switchboard, the locals gossip about how he stole the company from Roy Trendell in a rigged card game. Lisa figures out how to put calls through, but had rather flirt with the president than work the switchboard all night.moreless
  • 9/27/67
    8.2
    Oliver is finally fed up with the lousy service of the Hooterville phone company. He petitions the state "futilities commercial" for improvements, but they can't help; Hooterville needs at least forty-two customers to be covered by the law. Tired of hearing Oliver boast about how he could run the company better, the owner hands him the keys to the place.moreless
  • 9/20/67
    9.5
    Fred Ziffel objects to Arnold's love affair with Haney's "basket" hound Cynthia. Realizing that their relationship can never work, Arnold breaks things off. When Cynthia performs miserably at the county field trials, Haney wants to sue over his heartbroken hound.
  • Lisa's Jam Session
    Episode 2
    9/13/67
    8.3

    Drucker's store doesn't sell jam since all the Hooterville women make their own. Oliver encourages the reluctant Lisa to learn how to make preserves from Doris Ziffel since her's are the best in the valley. Lisa submits, citing the Hungarian Parliament's "Big Dumb Law of 1924" which stated, "All Hungarian women had to do whatever their husbands wanted them to do, no matter how dumb it was." With Doris' help, Lisa easily makes dozens of jars of "homemade" jam. Oliver is impressed until he learns Mrs. Ziffel's secret.

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  • 9/6/67
    8.2
    The state committee to nominate a new senator considers Oliver as their candidate. Upon hearing about his credentials (he can read and write), they send representatives to Hooterville to meet the man and learn what his neighbors think of him.
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