Green Acres - Season 5

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CBS (ended 1971)

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jaynashvil

User Score: 5505

Episode Guide

  • 11/22/69
    9.8

    Oliver tries to pick up a special delivery letter that arrived for him at the Hooterville post office. He and Lisa end up traveling all over the valley because Drucker mistakenly gave it to Hank Kimball, who gave it to Fred Ziffel, who gave it to Arnold. Arnold dropped it in the mail, sending the Douglases to the Pixley post office where two sets of identical twins are working at the windows.

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  • The Confrontation
    Episode 20
    2/14/70
    9.8
    In just his first day as the School Board President, Oliver has started a grammar school protest. The kids are upset that their mascot, Arnold, has been thrown out for popping his teacher with a pea shooter. Fred asks Oliver to represent his "son" on grounds that he was discriminated against, but all Oliver can do is talk to the school's determined principal.moreless
  • A Tale of a Tail
    Episode 4
    10/18/69
    9.7
    "Noted pig lawyer" Oliver arrives in Chicago with Lisa and Eb to prove Arnold's the rightful heir to a $20,000,000 fortune. While Arnold is given the royal treatment by the hotel staff, the Douglases are treated as persona non grata. The red carpet is rolled up for them all once Arnold's tail predicts snow--in July!moreless
  • Oliver unintentionally provides the motive for the residents of Hooterville to illegally receive more than $500,000 from the Internal Revenue Service. The locals think all they have to do is write in and state their losses--not understanding that they actually have to file taxes first. Eventually, to get its cash back, the IRS invests in Haney's monkey racing track.moreless
  • The Picnic
    Episode 22
    3/7/70
    9.6

    Oliver wants to have a simple, romantic Sunday picnic with Lisa. His afternoon for two turns into an irritating crowd when everyone invites themselves and tags along. Joining the couple are Eb, his girlfriend Linda and her accordion, her parents, Sam Drucker, his date and her sousaphone, Hank Kimball, Linda's Grandpa and some old lady he hit on at the gas station. That night, Oliver and Lisa take refuge in the barn when the crowd shows up at their house.

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  • The Road
    Episode 6
    11/1/69
    9.5
    Oliver's angry over Hooterville's dirt road, especially after learning the money to pave it was appropriated thirty years earlier. Never content to leave well enough alone, he descends on the state capitol demanding that something be done. He makes little headway until Lisa mentions the name of powerful hot dog vendor Big Joe Haney.moreless
  • The Ex-Con
    Episode 18
    1/31/70
    9.5
    Oliver gives another of his speeches, this one to the County Bar Association, encouraging the hiring of ex-convicts. This leads to his hiring of Willie Dunhill, a man who's spent so many years in prison, he can't adjust to life on the outside; he keeps calling Oliver "warden".
  • 10/25/69
    9.5

    When the Douglases, Eb, and potentially wealthy Arnold return from Chicago, the pig goes on a gift-giving spree. Mr. Kimball gets a wristwatch, Lisa, an expensive bracelet, and Oliver, a shrunken head. Trying to cash in, Haney conducts tours of the important locations in the life of the pig. With Arnold the target of every salesman in the valley, he hides out at the Douglas farm. Soon they've tracked him down and it's Oliver who has to fight off the pushy peddlers.

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  • Ralph's Nuptials
    Episode 11
    12/13/69
    9.4
    Ralph finally squeezes a proposal out of a medicated Hank Kimball, sending a delighted Lisa into wedding planning mode. Even though the Haney-produced ceremony goes off without a hitch, the honeymoon with an absent-minded Hank doesn't.
  • 11/29/69
    9.4

    Oliver speaks about a law career at Hooterville High and impresses one student, Cathy, a teenagerwho develops a crush on every speaker who visits. Lisa's irritated whenthe girlstarts showing up at their house fawning over her "groovy" husband and calling her old. Oliver also has to contend with her jilted boyfriend who's angry that he broke them up.

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  • Happy Birthday
    Episode 26
    4/11/70
    9.4

    To his irritation, Oliver learns he shares his birthday with Arnold Ziffel. He refuses to spread the joy by getting a gift for theZiffel boy, even though the pig gives him a fur-lined electric snout warmer. Even though he requested no celebration, Oliver's convinced that Lisa is throwing him a surprise party, so he puts on his tux and goes all around Hooterville looking for it. He gets a surprise, but it's not a party.

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  • 10/11/69
    9.4

    The descendant of Herman, a pig that predicted the weather with his tail, stands to inherit the $20,000,000 Birnbacher estate. Fred Ziffel is convinced Arnold has the same talent. Fred, along with everyone else in Hooterville, pressures Oliver to take Arnold to Chicago and claim his inheritance. Oliver, however, isn't interested in demeaning himself by becoming a famous "pig lawyer."

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  • The Cow Killer
    Episode 19
    2/7/70
    9.0
    Haney's latest attempt to cheat Oliver could land him in jail if he doesn't repay his $200 by six o'clock. He uses Oliver's irritation over Colby's renegade cow, the Douglases' cow Eleanor and a misplaced phony bovine to his advantage, selling and reselling all three cattle to make money. Along the way, Lisa and Eb become convinced that Oliver is a cold blooded "cow shooster".moreless
  • Trapped
    Episode 16
    1/17/70
    8.9
    Old timbers collapse, trapping Oliver and Lisa in a root cellar beneath their house. Calling for help through the drain in the kitchen sink, the two await a rescue by the addled Kimball and an amnesiac Eb. Their hopes are pinned on Arnold Ziffle and a game of charades.
  • Beauty is Skin Deep
    Episode 13
    12/27/69
    8.7
    Sam Drucker stocks no "cosmeteticals" in his store, so Lisa offers to put together a display for him. When 395 cartons of Lady Love cosmetics are delivered, Lisa pushes Sam out the door and converts his business into a "beauty saloon". After Oliver tells her she must move her business somewhere else, she sets up shop in their living room.moreless
  • Rest and Relaxation
    Episode 15
    1/10/70
    8.7

    Oliver's old friend, reporter Mort Warner, comes to Hooterville to relax and soothe his rattled nerves. He's ready to flee in less than one day. Mort is frightened by Lisa's syrupy coffee, hosed down with oil by Oliver's rickety tractor, and has his bed invaded by a TV-watching pig. Fred Ziffel peers at him naked in the outdoor shower, Mr. Haney gouges him with his phony Auto Club, the sheriff arrests him for stealing the Douglas' car, and quail-hunting Hank Kimball fills his behind with buckshot.

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  • The Youth Center
    Episode 8
    11/15/69
    8.6
    Alarmed by the dropping population of Hooterville, Oliver calls a town meeting to find a way to keep the young people from moving away. Lisa urges him not to become involved because his "goo dooding" always backfires, but he forges ahead anyway. Soon, he's involuntarily volunteered his barn to be the valley's new youth center.moreless
  • Four of Spades
    Episode 7
    11/8/69
    8.6
    Lisa the fortune-teller predicts that a mysterious stranger will soon enter Oliver's life. That stranger is Tadpole Talbot, Eb's country music singing cousin. Tadpole hires Eb to go on the road and plug his music, but it's not nearly as glamourous as Eb imagined.
  • 12/20/69
    8.6

    With minimal help from Eb, a stressed Oliver begins planting his corn crop. Lisa tries to be a useful farm wife by making dreadful lemonade which Oliver pours out onto the ground. The next morning at that spot, he finds a giant cornstalk that reaches into the clouds. At the top of the stalk there's a Jolly Green Giant who bellows "Ho, Ho, Ho" and drops down creamed corn, both in the can and by the bucketful.

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  • 9/27/69
    7.8
    Lisa's mother surprises her and "Whatshisname" (Oliver) with a three week visit. She just became a countess--the title came with an estate she bought--but Eb tells everyone she's the Queen of Sicily. In her royal honor, the locals hold a Ceremonial Day complete with a solid gold wooden key to the city. The highlight is a 21-gun-salute using just one cannon and three balls.moreless
  • Uncle Fedor
    Episode 24
    3/28/70
    7.5
    Lisa's skittish Uncle Fedor uses the Douglases home to hide out--mostly under the bed and sofa. He claims he's on the run from the Secet Police who want him for smuggling a secret formula. When a man with a scar and another without an ear are spotted in Hooterville, his wild tale starts to seem believable.moreless
  • 10/4/69
    7.3
    Two weeks of bordom is finally enough for Lisa's mother. To Oliver's relief, the woman who still doesn't know his name is packed and ready to go. His celebration is short lived once Haney and Joe Carson learn how much money she has. The two become a pair of dueling Romeos vying for her hand and, more importantly, her fortune.moreless
  • The Beeping Rock
    Episode 23
    3/21/70
    7.2
    A wild story told by an 11-year-old about his recent trip to the moon enthralls Eb and Lisa. Oliver believes none of it, especially when the kid sells Lisa a "moon rock" for $14. But once the rock stars beeping under the moonlight (and when Arnold snorts at it), he suspects he's the subject of a practical joke. Oliver ships it off to NASA for their scientists to examine.moreless
  • The Wish-Book
    Episode 14
    1/3/70
    6.9

    The discovery of a Wish Book from 1898 leads Haney to tell the story of Calvin and Tessie Whittaker, who once owned the Douglases' house. When a magic lantern is mistakenly delivered by the catalog company, Calvin opens a Wall Picture Theater in Pixley, thrilling audiences with a slide of Abraham Lincoln standing on his head. Eventually he goes to Hollywood to pitch his ideas, but they call him a nut. They even scoff at his idea to put a mouse named Dickey into films. They love Tessie, however, and she becomes a silent film star.

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  • Bundle of Joy
    Episode 17
    1/24/70
    6.8

    While Oliver's in New Yorkfinishing a casefor his old law firm, Lisa and Eb discover "Little Freddie" on the doorstep. Oliver panics when Lisa calls and tells him about the baby, but fails to mention it's a baby dog. Unable to talk Lina into contacting the sheriff, he abandons his case and races back to Hooterville to take charge.

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  • 4/11/70
    6.0
    In a personals ad, Eb advertises himself as a wealthy landowner. He begins communicating with a woman with a Park Avenue address, prompting him to exaggerate his worth even more. By the time she arrives for a visit, Eb is passing the Douglases off as sharecroppers who work for him.
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