With "Haney's School of Mail Order Accounting", students receive a Bob Cratchit accounting desk, an autographed photo of Tiny Tim looking happy on Christmas Day, and an abacus with an electric cord on it.
Among the profitable occupations Eb is considering is brain "sturgeon", Rear Admiral, Greek millionaire, dictator and football star.
Oliver has another head-scratching moment when he watches Eb take a nap on an invisible bed he's imagined.
Eb enrolls in Clarkwell Correspondence School, which is Sam Drucker and Hank Kimball's old alma mater.
Sam, Hank and Eb sing the Clarkwell school song. They each sing it slightly different, but the lyrics are approximately: "Raise your glass to Clarkwell/ in rain and sleet and hail./ Raise your glass for Clarkwell,/ where you'll study through the mail."
Drucker: Ever notice how my canned goods are displayed?
Oliver: Well, no, I uh--
Drucker: (pointing at shelf) Now, you take them cans of parboiled lobster tongues. They're displayed so's when you come in the store, they hit you right in the eye.
Oliver: Yes, that's very...
Drucker: 'Course, I ain't never sold none, but when you come in the store, they do hit ya right in the eye.