Green Acres

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CBS (ended 1971)

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  • Season 6 (26)
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  • The Picnic

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 22 - 3/7/70

    Oliver wants to have a simple, romantic Sunday picnic with Lisa. His afternoon for two turns into an irritating crowd when everyone invites themselves and tags along. Joining the couple are Eb, his girlfriend Linda and her accordion, her parents, Sam Drucker, his date and her sousaphone, Hank Kimball, Linda's Grandpa and some old lady he hit on at the gas station. That night, Oliver and Lisa take refuge in the barn when the crowd shows up at their house.

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  • The Case of the Hooterville Refund Fraud

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 21 - 2/28/70

    Oliver unintentionally provides the motive for the residents of Hooterville to illegally receive more than $500,000 from the Internal Revenue Service. The locals think all they have to do is write in and state their losses--not understanding that they actually have to file taxes first. Eventually, to get its cash back, the IRS invests in Haney's monkey racing track.moreless
  • The Confrontation

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 20 - 2/14/70

    In just his first day as the School Board President, Oliver has started a grammar school protest. The kids are upset that their mascot, Arnold, has been thrown out for popping his teacher with a pea shooter. Fred asks Oliver to represent his "son" on grounds that he was discriminated against, but all Oliver can do is talk to the school's determined principal.moreless
  • The Cow Killer

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 19 - 2/7/70

    Haney's latest attempt to cheat Oliver could land him in jail if he doesn't repay his $200 by six o'clock. He uses Oliver's irritation over Colby's renegade cow, the Douglases' cow Eleanor and a misplaced phony bovine to his advantage, selling and reselling all three cattle to make money. Along the way, Lisa and Eb become convinced that Oliver is a cold blooded "cow shooster".moreless
  • The Ex-Con

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 18 - 1/31/70

    Oliver gives another of his speeches, this one to the County Bar Association, encouraging the hiring of ex-convicts. This leads to his hiring of Willie Dunhill, a man who's spent so many years in prison, he can't adjust to life on the outside; he keeps calling Oliver "warden".moreless
  • Bundle of Joy

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 17 - 1/24/70

    While Oliver's in New Yorkfinishing a casefor his old law firm, Lisa and Eb discover "Little Freddie" on the doorstep. Oliver panics when Lisa calls and tells him about the baby, but fails to mention it's a baby dog. Unable to talk Lina into contacting the sheriff, he abandons his case and races back to Hooterville to take charge.

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  • Trapped

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 16 - 1/17/70

    Old timbers collapse, trapping Oliver and Lisa in a root cellar beneath their house. Calling for help through the drain in the kitchen sink, the two await a rescue by the addled Kimball and an amnesiac Eb. Their hopes are pinned on Arnold Ziffle and a game of charades.moreless
  • Rest and Relaxation

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 15 - 1/10/70

    Oliver's old friend, reporter Mort Warner, comes to Hooterville to relax and soothe his rattled nerves. He's ready to flee in less than one day. Mort is frightened by Lisa's syrupy coffee, hosed down with oil by Oliver's rickety tractor, and has his bed invaded by a TV-watching pig. Fred Ziffel peers at him naked in the outdoor shower, Mr. Haney gouges him with his phony Auto Club, the sheriff arrests him for stealing the Douglas' car, and quail-hunting Hank Kimball fills his behind with buckshot.

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  • The Wish-Book

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 14 - 1/3/70

    The discovery of a Wish Book from 1898 leads Haney to tell the story of Calvin and Tessie Whittaker, who once owned the Douglases' house. When a magic lantern is mistakenly delivered by the catalog company, Calvin opens a Wall Picture Theater in Pixley, thrilling audiences with a slide of Abraham Lincoln standing on his head. Eventually he goes to Hollywood to pitch his ideas, but they call him a nut. They even scoff at his idea to put a mouse named Dickey into films. They love Tessie, however, and she becomes a silent film star.

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  • Beauty is Skin Deep

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 13 - 12/27/69

    Sam Drucker stocks no "cosmeteticals" in his store, so Lisa offers to put together a display for him. When 395 cartons of Lady Love cosmetics are delivered, Lisa pushes Sam out the door and converts his business into a "beauty saloon". After Oliver tells her she must move her business somewhere else, she sets up shop in their living room.moreless
  • Oliver and the Cornstalk

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 12 - 12/20/69

    With minimal help from Eb, a stressed Oliver begins planting his corn crop. Lisa tries to be a useful farm wife by making dreadful lemonade which Oliver pours out onto the ground. The next morning at that spot, he finds a giant cornstalk that reaches into the clouds. At the top of the stalk there's a Jolly Green Giant who bellows "Ho, Ho, Ho" and drops down creamed corn, both in the can and by the bucketful.

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  • Ralph's Nuptials

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 11 - 12/13/69

    Ralph finally squeezes a proposal out of a medicated Hank Kimball, sending a delighted Lisa into wedding planning mode. Even though the Haney-produced ceremony goes off without a hitch, the honeymoon with an absent-minded Hank doesn't.moreless
  • Oliver's Schoolgirl Crush

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 10 - 11/29/69

    Oliver speaks about a law career at Hooterville High and impresses one student, Cathy, a teenagerwho develops a crush on every speaker who visits. Lisa's irritated whenthe girlstarts showing up at their house fawning over her "groovy" husband and calling her old. Oliver also has to contend with her jilted boyfriend who's angry that he broke them up.

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  • The Special Delivery Letter

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 9 - 11/22/69

    Oliver tries to pick up a special delivery letter that arrived for him at the Hooterville post office. He and Lisa end up traveling all over the valley because Drucker mistakenly gave it to Hank Kimball, who gave it to Fred Ziffel, who gave it to Arnold. Arnold dropped it in the mail, sending the Douglases to the Pixley post office where two sets of identical twins are working at the windows.

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  • The Youth Center

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 8 - 11/15/69

    Alarmed by the dropping population of Hooterville, Oliver calls a town meeting to find a way to keep the young people from moving away. Lisa urges him not to become involved because his "goo dooding" always backfires, but he forges ahead anyway. Soon, he's involuntarily volunteered his barn to be the valley's new youth center.moreless
  • Four of Spades

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 7 - 11/8/69

    Lisa the fortune-teller predicts that a mysterious stranger will soon enter Oliver's life. That stranger is Tadpole Talbot, Eb's country music singing cousin. Tadpole hires Eb to go on the road and plug his music, but it's not nearly as glamourous as Eb imagined.moreless
  • The Road

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 6 - 11/1/69

    Oliver's angry over Hooterville's dirt road, especially after learning the money to pave it was appropriated thirty years earlier. Never content to leave well enough alone, he descends on the state capitol demanding that something be done. He makes little headway until Lisa mentions the name of powerful hot dog vendor Big Joe Haney.moreless
  • You and Your Big Shrunken Head

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 5 - 10/25/69

    When the Douglases, Eb, and potentially wealthy Arnold return from Chicago, the pig goes on a gift-giving spree. Mr. Kimball gets a wristwatch, Lisa, an expensive bracelet, and Oliver, a shrunken head. Trying to cash in, Haney conducts tours of the important locations in the life of the pig. With Arnold the target of every salesman in the valley, he hides out at the Douglas farm. Soon they've tracked him down and it's Oliver who has to fight off the pushy peddlers.

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  • A Tale of a Tail

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 4 - 10/18/69

    "Noted pig lawyer" Oliver arrives in Chicago with Lisa and Eb to prove Arnold's the rightful heir to a $20,000,000 fortune. While Arnold is given the royal treatment by the hotel staff, the Douglases are treated as persona non grata. The red carpet is rolled up for them all once Arnold's tail predicts snow--in July!moreless
  • Where There's a Will

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 3 - 10/11/69

    The descendant of Herman, a pig that predicted the weather with his tail, stands to inherit the $20,000,000 Birnbacher estate. Fred Ziffel is convinced Arnold has the same talent. Fred, along with everyone else in Hooterville, pressures Oliver to take Arnold to Chicago and claim his inheritance. Oliver, however, isn't interested in demeaning himself by becoming a famous "pig lawyer."

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  • Everybody Tries to Love a Countess

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 2 - 10/4/69

    Two weeks of bordom is finally enough for Lisa's mother. To Oliver's relief, the woman who still doesn't know his name is packed and ready to go. His celebration is short lived once Haney and Joe Carson learn how much money she has. The two become a pair of dueling Romeos vying for her hand and, more importantly, her fortune.moreless
  • Lisa's Mudder Comes for a Visit

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 1 - 9/27/69

    Lisa's mother surprises her and "Whatshisname" (Oliver) with a three week visit. She just became a countess--the title came with an estate she bought--but Eb tells everyone she's the Queen of Sicily. In her royal honor, the locals hold a Ceremonial Day complete with a solid gold wooden key to the city. The highlight is a 21-gun-salute using just one cannon and three balls.moreless
  • The Reincarnation of Eb

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 26 - 4/2/69

    Oliver, Lisa and Eb talk about reincarnation after watching a movie about a grandfather who returns as a racehorse. Later, when Eb goes missing during a nasty thunderstorm, Lisa is worried sick that something bad has happened to him. She's greatly relieved when he returns home safely--"reincarcerated" as a dog.moreless
  • The Milk Maker

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 25 - 3/26/69

    Local inventor "Looney Luke" Needlinger has built a contraption that turns hay into milk. Convinced it will make them rich, Haney and Fred pitch Oliver on investing in the machine, but he thinks they're being conned. After seeing the milk maker in action, Oliver convinces a chemist to give the devise a once-over. What he discovers insures that cows will always have work.moreless
  • The Old Trunk

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 24 - 3/19/69

    From inside an old trunk Eb found in the barn, Lisa begins reading the diary of Lydia Plunkett who, in 1898, becomes a traveling saleswoman for a corset company. Lydia falls in love with rival salesman Harry Wright, whose career falters as a result of her success. The two marry, she becomes president of the corset company, and unhappily tends house. He eventually tires of being a housewife and leaves her. As Lisa continues reading, Eb is entranced by the story, but Oliver scoffs at the soppy romance.

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  • Eb Uses His Ingenuity

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 23 - 3/12/69

    All of Hooterville is excited about the upcoming big dance. Eb, however, is obsessed with raising $20 to buy his girlfriend a birthday present. Oliver tells him to be ingenious, so he begins leasing out the Douglases' wardrobe, telling people they're strapped for cash. Eb's big brainstorm: sit for ten babies while their parents go to the dance.moreless
  • Oh, Promise Me

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 22 - 3/5/69

    A check of their their marriage license revals that Oliver and Lisa aren't husband and wife. They'd been mistakenly given a license to practice dentistry. Refusing to stay in the house with a bachelor dentist, "Dr. Gronyitz" moves in with the Monroe brothers until they can re-tie the knot. Their church wedding goes fairly smoothly considering Hank Kimball is the best man and Ralph Monroe is the maid of honor.

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  • A Hunting We Won't Go

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 21 - 2/26/69

    After a friendly doe wanders onto the farm, Lisa starts a drive to ban deer hunting. When the governor arrives in Hooterville for the start of hunting season, Lisa presents him with her petition. He threatens Oliver and Lisa with jail time because her petition promises everyone who signed it a one-hundred dollar payment.moreless
  • Retreat From Washington

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 20 - 2/19/69

    With the Douglases in Washington, the "Haney Farm Mindin' Service" leases out their house (for $4 a day) to a couple with six children. Meanwhile in D.C., Lisa and Eb go to the White House to have unannounced lunch with the president, Kimball causes chaos for the Secretary of Agriculture, and Arnold causes problems in a laundromat. Oliver calls an early end to their trip, forcing Haney to quickly dispose of his new tenants.moreless
  • Economy Flight to Washington

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 19 - 2/12/69

    The Hooterville Young People's Agricultural Society, comprised of Eb, Hank and Arnold, flies to Washington, D. C. for the national convention. When the stewardess tries to throw the pig off the DC-3, the Douglases come on board to smooth over the problem. With Arnold hiding in "the occupied", the plane takes off with the whole Hooterville crowd aboard.moreless
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