Green Wing

Season 1 Episode 3


Aired Friday 9:30 PM Sep 17, 2004 on Channel 4
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Episode Summary

Worried about her age Joanna is also concerned about the dreariness of her relationship with Statham, who in turn tries to spice up their relationship through spontaneity (with the help of playing his recorder to get himself sexually aroused). However he soon becomes concerned that I.T. wiz and women-pleaser Lyndon Jones is trying to steal Joanna away from him. Meanwhile Mac discovers that despite protesting she never wanted children, his ex-girlfriend Holly is expecting with her new partner. A delighted Guy soon uses this as ammunition in his game of one-upmanship with Mac, but ends up being traumatized himself when memories of his boarding school days come back to haunt him. And Caroline juggles her nicotine urges with searching for a new roommate, but is less than thrilled with the candidate being Angela.moreless

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  • Caroline's looking for a lodger, Joanna is still trying to keep her "relationship" with Alan a secret, and Sue's parading around the hospital with a new friend.

    Today, in our favourite hospital, we have Sue, running back and forth with a camel, in between getting funky with her ring tone. There's Caroline, fighting for her nicotine rights. And we have Angela and Boyce, cart wheeling down a corridor in the middle of the day.

    I guess that's just your typical day in Green Wing. We learn a bit about Guy's past, meet a new character Lyndon Jones, head of IT and heartthrob of the hospital, and we get an informative lesson on checking for a broken toe bone through oral examination from Dr. Alan Statham. This is an entertaining episode with some important character development containing your recommended daily allowance of hospital antics.

Oliver Milburn

Oliver Milburn


Guest Star

Daisy Haggard

Daisy Haggard


Guest Star

Roger Frost

Roger Frost

Dead Wife Man

Guest Star

Paterson Joseph

Paterson Joseph

Lyndon Jones

Recurring Role

Keir Charles

Keir Charles


Recurring Role

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (5)

    • Caroline: [Apparently] pubic topiary is the new pashmina.
      Martin: Yeah, yeah, you could have a heart done, or your initial. Or a lovely swan.
      Caroline: Or a C for Caroline (pause) oh no, no, people might get the wrong idea. They might think it's C for something else.
      Martin: Crazy, or someth… (Caroline shakes her head) Oh! Yes, the nasty C word.
      Caroline: Yeah, wouldn't want that.
      Martin: No. Well I mean…you don't want to signpost it anyway, do you? Pretty obvious to…to any…you know…visitors…there.

    • Naughty Rachel: (angry) I hate it when men say 'I can't remember saying that' or 'I was only joking'.
      Kim: Or, 'I didn't mean it like that'.
      Naughty Rachel: Yeah and what about, 'you only hear what you want to hear'.
      Karen: Or, 'I'm actually a woman'.

    • (discussing motorcycle helmets)
      Martin: I'm thinking about getting an adamantium helmet.
      Mac: Yeah? That's the stuff that Wolverine's skeleton is made out of isn't it?
      Martin: Yep. Hardest metal in the world.
      Mac: Indeed, indeed. Sadly of course a fictional metal…so that would probably reduce its effectiveness in a crash style scenario."

    • Boyce: If you see a really pretty blonde girl, about 5' 7", green eyes, slightly foreign accent, can you tell her I've gone to radiology.
      Caroline: Yeah I suppose so. What's her name?
      Boyce: I've no idea, she might not even exist, but you know, just in case.

    • (lodger interview)
      Dead Wife Man: I though I'd find myself a new place after my wife died.
      Caroline: Oh, I'm so sorry. Was it sudden?
      Dead Wife Man: Well I didn't notice it straight away. You know…sex was the same. But the dishes kept piling up.

  • NOTES (2)


    • Mac: "That's the stuff that Wolverine's skeleton is made out of isn't it?"
      Wolverine is a character from the Marvel comic book series X-Men, whose special powers include retractable claws.

    • Guy: "Have you ever seen that film The Terminator? It's about this cyborg woman that get's pregnant..."
      Guy is still trying to annoy Mac by referencing The Terminator, a 1984 film about a robot that comes back from the future to kill the unborn baby of a woman.

    • Guy: "All that she wants is another baby."
      This lyric is from Ace Of Base's hit, All That She Wants, and is sung by Guy to Mac in an attempt to wind him up about his ex-girlfriend's pregnancy.