Greg: (voiceover) You know, I really learned something that day. Something besides the fact that Jimmy has to get a new car, because, let me tell you, these little side trips to the cemetery are way too emotionally draining. I learned that, you know, even though it's scary to let go of the past, being able to do so is a true test of character.
Blah: Oh, you'll be fine. Besides, if you're always retracing your footsteps, you'll never make new ones, blah.
Warren: That's a little odd coming from somebody whose idea of a hot date is to sob uncontrollably to a marble slab.
Maggie: You are a pompous, self-centered monkey!
Warren: You are a shallow, manipulative trollop!
Gil: Hey, why don't we all calm down before somebody says something untrue.
Maggie: And I'll have you know, Blah is the greatest lover I've ever had. Talk about a G-spot? He found the whole damn alphabet.
Maggie: Warren, stop it. There is nothing going on between Gil and me. I mean, look at him!
Gil: Hello. Person with feelings standing here.
Maggie: Despite what you think, I wouldn't just sleep with anything.
Gil: Anything? Hey, you married an ape and slept with a vampire!
Dottie: Look, I know Jack's a little strange. But he's not stalking you. When would he have the time, with all his anger management classes and gun club meetings?
Gil: This thing between you and Maggie. Is it, uh, serious? Blah: No, it's just a one-time thing. Well, technically, it's a four-time thing. But just one night. Gil: Four? Blah: I know, I'm a little rusty.
Gil: Alright, how the hell did that happen?
Blah: Oh, it's all Jimmy and Greg's fault, blah. They took me to this silly phone bar, and... well, I haven't been with anyone in six years, and Maggie was there, and one thing led to another, and the next thing I know, she's blahing me.
Greg: So, apparently, poor Blah has been visiting his wife's grave every day for, like, six years.
Jimmy: Well, in all fairness, it's not like she can go to his place.
Dottie: My uncle, Dan, was a romantic like this. He used to visit the spot where my aunt was buried all the time. That's how the FBI finally found the body.
Gil: ...but Alison at the network just hated your "Trust Song," so she's making me fire you.
Psycho Writer: What? I put my heart and soul into that song.
Gil: I know. I know, and it shows, it sh--please. And I quote your song, "May my bones be crushed in moldy dust. If you can't trust, you can't trust, you can't tru-uh-ust me" when I say that I loved your song... Now your office has been cleaned out, boxes are already in your car, so off you go.
Psycho Writer: This sucks.
Alison: What was that about?
Gil: Oh, nothing. The writer of "The Trust Song" just quit.
Alison: Oh, really? Oh, I loved that song.
Gil: Hey, we all did.
Greg: Sometimes we get so attached to things that it becomes hard to move on. Things like old cars... bad relationships... my pet snake who loved to sleep in the driveway.
Count Blah's wife's epitaph:
BELOVED WIFE, BLAH
The outtakes tag for this episode was not broadcast by FOX. It was replaced with a promo. In this show, one outtake is shown during the closing credits: Maggie and Count Blah french kissing in bed (to the hoots and hollers of the crew).
Visually references both the film King Kong and Samsonite commercials from the 1970s.
The role of Maggie was written with Jennifer Coolidge in mind.
Moe Gans-Pomerantz is credited as Moe Gans Pomerantz.
Originally scheduled to air on May 8, 2002. The series was originally supposed to run the first two weeks of May sweeps, but declining ratings (and a lack of network support) led FOX to yank it for all of sweeps, filling the gap with reruns of The Bernie Mac Show instead.
Music: "Nothing Takes the Place of You" by William Bell