Greg the Bunny

Season 1 Episode 3

The Jewel Heist

Aired Wednesday 7:30 PM Apr 03, 2002 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Tardy the Turtle: (Eating a bag of paintballs) The green ones make me horny! (makes trademark squeak)

    • Jack: Well, there's your problem there. In fact, you got two problems. And they're both between his legs.
      Blah: Eh, what? They look fine to me, blah. I wish mine looked that healthy. Mine hang so low, I need a cold shower before I can get on an escalator, blah.

    • Alison: You don't have the guts. Drop it.
      Dottie: You drop it.
      Susan: Ladies, ladies. Let's just cool out. Now let's all agree that it'd be nice to have a penis. But the sad truth is, we don't. And some of us probably never will.

    • Greg: Oh. Hi. I, uh, I must've, uh, dozed off.
      Jimmy: Right next to the killer dog, no less.
      Chelsea: Oh, aren't they cute.
      Greg: Well. Yeah. You know, uh, he does seem much calmer, doesn't he? I guess we patched things up.

    • Chelsea: Oh my God. Oh my God. James, what did he do to my dog?! Make it stop!
      Jimmy: Hey, what happened?
      Greg: Oh, Jimmy. Come on--what do you want me to say, man? You want me to say that Jack came over here, neutered the pooch and replaced his kabangers with Sammy Davis, Jr.'s eyes? Is that what you want me to say?

    • Greg: He attacked me.
      Chelsea: You must have been taunting him!
      Greg: Oh, you know, you should be a rape counselor.

    • Chelsea: Okay, you're apologizing to him?
      Jimmy: Yeah, well, look--
      Chelsea: He castrated my dog!
      Greg: You castrated my best friend.

    • Warren: Hey, what do humans see in these things, anyway? If I wanted someone to lick my face and poop on my lawn, I'd get back together with Farrah Fawcett.

    • Greg: Jimmy, come on, this is paintball! We practiced for a month! We devised intricate battle plans! I even had myself Scotchguarded!

    • Greg: Oh my God! Oh my God! Stop! Sit! Play dead! Play paralyzed! Play anything! Just play it away from me!

    • Paintball Instructor: While the paintball is designed to not break the skin, oh, they do break the skin. They cause pain, welts, and -- if'n you're not wearing your goggles -- a little something I call "painteye." I.e., blindness.
      Warren: Did he just say, "blindness."
      Blah: Yeah, blah. He also said, "if'n."

    • Jack: We're going to Greg's place. He needs our help.
      Blah: Why, what's wrong, blah?
      Jack: There's no time to explain.
      Blah: ...Wait a minute. There's plenty of time to explain, blah. Greg's place is, like, 40 minutes away.

    • Greg: Oh, Chelsea wants. Look at you, man. You're on a shorter leash than her stupid dog. You know, we used to hang out. We used to play Nintendo. We used to melt stuff.
      Jimmy: Oh, Greg, that's so cute. That you're jealous. I mean, don't worry. It's perfect normal. Perfectly healthy. Just a tad bit gay.
      Greg: Oh, yeah. Says the guy with the sweater tied around his shirt.

    • Chelsea: Hey, James. Winston had a little accident on your lawn.
      Greg: Ooh, is he dead? Oh. That kind of accident.

    • Alison: You organized the game.
      Gil: I'm... not sure that's... true. Uh, Doris, would you find out who organized the paintball game, and why the ladies weren't invited?
      Dottie: You're talking into a humidor.
      Gil: Doris, what happened to my intercom?
      Dottie: There is no Doris.
      Gil: Edna, would you find out what happened to Doris?

    • Gil: End of discussion.
      Warren: No, it is not end of discussion, Gil! I do not want to sing this song with Dottie! I do not want to sing this song with Blah! I want to sing this song all by myself, you hear me? Me, me, me, me, me!
      Gil: Warren, I really don't think this is the right attitude for "The Sharing Song."

    • Dottie: Gil organized a big paintball war for this weekend. Apparently, shooting each other is supposed to promote office unity.

    • Greg: Teamwork. Two people of like mind working together for the common good. Nothing can beat it... Well, except maybe three people of like mind.

  • Notes

    • In this show, two outtakes are shown during the closing credits: Eugene Levy flubbing a line in the studio hallway; Greg having trouble trying to take his goggles off. FOX did end up broadcasting them.

    • Since the episodes were aired out of order ,this marks the first episode broadcasted where Greg has eyes made of colored plastic, as opposed to black buttons.

    • Chelsea's dog, Winston, is played by none other than Rowdy, that famous German Shepherd/Husky mix from Nickelodeon's 100 Deeds for Eddie McDowd -- which Seth Green just so happened to provide the voice for in its first season.

    • Music: "Shotgun" by Junior Walker and the All-Stars; "War" by Edwin Starr

  • Allusions

    • Greg: Yoko
      Greg calls Chelsea "Yoko" because she is breaking up Jimmy's and Greg's friendship. Yoko Ono was John Lenon's wife, and is believed by many to be responsible for breaking up The Beatles.