Grey's Anatomy Season 7 Episode 15

Eli: So when's your next break?
Bailey: Okay, uh uh, no. This will never happen again, ever. Understood?
Eli: Sure. ... Until your next break.

Henry (to Teddy): So before he gets off the phone and since I now I have to go pee in a cup. I just have to say this. I basically spent the past hour on a date with William myself, and I don't know how much you know about the guy, but this is what I know. Um, he wears driving gloves, yeah. And he doesn't live with his mother, but until recently he lived above her house. And he used the word "shan't", and he wasn't being funny. And he has yet to tell a story about himself in which he is not the hero. And as your husband, I think we can do better.

Meredith: Chief, about earlier...
Richard: It's all taken care of. I checked Adele's head CT myself, it's clean. Her wrist is in a splint and I'm taking her home now.
Meredith: Well, I still have some concerns. And if her CT was clean, then I have even more concerns.
Richard: Thank you, Meredith, but I assure you, Adele is fine.
Meredith: Chief, she's been getting things very confused.
Richard: Meredith she is fine and I'm taking her home right now.
Meredith: Why was she getting Christmas decorations in February?
Richard: Good night, Meredith.
Meredith: And she said she had just gotten home from work, didn't she retire?
Richard: Meredith...
Meredith: Chief something isn't right.
Richard: Okay, that's enough. While I know what you're implying and I appreciate your concern, that's enough. Adele had a scare today, she had a fall. Any number of things could account for her mixing up a couple of details not the least of which is her being interrogated by you. Now if something bigger were wrong with my wife I would know it. Now, you've got Alzheimer's on the brain. You buy a car and you start seeing it everywhere you look. Now, you've been working on this Alzheimers trial 24-7. I get it. Adele is not your mother, Meredith. She's my wife. Now, good night.

Meredith: You know, it's not that I don't want to share you. I mean, I don't want to share you, but that's not the reason I don't want you to be Callie's baby's godmother.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Meredith: It just seems like if you agree to be Callie's baby's godmother, you're saying that I'll never have a baby of my own.
Cristina: Meredith, you know that I am in no way saying that...
Meredith: I know. It just feels that way.
Cristina: Okay. ... Well, I have to go have a really uncomfortable conversation with Callie now.

Alex: We got through those charts fast. Floor seats here I come.
Lucy: So, I just helped you get through three dozen charts in a fraction of the time it would've taken you to do on your own. Basically ensuring you get to your floor seats on time. How long do I have to wait until you ask me to go to the game with you?
Alex: Oh, I mean, I was supposed to take Avery, but screw him. Sure, you wanna go?
Lucy: No, I'm on-call tonight, actually. I just wanted to see if I could get you to ask me out.

Meredith: Where are we going?
Derek: Nowhere. We're gonna do it here.
Meredith: Wh-- No we're not.
Derek: Come on.
Meredith: No. No way. Are you kidding me?
Derek: No, drop your pants. (stops the elevator) Come on. I'll be quick. I'll be in and out.
Meredith: Oh my God. Eyes up here! Are you kidding me?
Derek: No, I'm serious about this. Where is your sense of adventure?
Meredith: My sense of adventure is down on the first floor. It's not in this elevator.
Derek: Come on, if not for me then do it for your future baby. Come on, turn around.
Meredith (turns around): I cannot believe I am doing this. This future imaginary baby of ours better be worth it. (Derek gives her a shot in her ass) Ouch.
Derek: There. I told you I'd be quick. I can't wait to meet our our future fictitious baby.
Meredith: Me either.

Cristina: Okay, Stuwart, let's focus. What's 14 + 4?
Stu: 18.
Cristina: 27 - 13?
Stu (thinking): Uh, 15?
Cristina: No. 172 - 60? (David raises his hand in the background)
Stu: I have no idea. But it's not because of the knife. It's just because I'm so drunk.
David: No, actually it's just 'cause he's dumb.
Stu: Thanks, David. Really?!
Cristina: Unbelievable. His mental status is completely intact if you don't account for his math skills. It's like the knife did no damage at all.
David: So, why don't you just pull the thing out? 'Cause we got a game to get to.

Cristina: Hey, where's the knife guy? Is it true he's walking and talking?
Meredith: What about your colectomy?
Cristina: Ah, postponed. The wife snuck him a cheeseburger and fries before surgery.
Meredith: So, this thing with Callie, you know it's a bad idea, right? You don't wanna be Callie's baby's godmother.
Cristina: I don't?
Meredith: No! I mean, think of how many people have to die before you even get to step up. Mark, Callie and Arizona. That's a lot of people.
Cristina: It is. A lot of dead people.
Meredith: Where as if you're my baby's godmother-in-waiting. It's only me and Derek. One wrong turn down a dark, twisty road. Boom, you're in.
Cristina: Okay, let's be clear. If I am ever a godparent to anyone's kid it will be in name only. I will not be taking care of children. That's what boarding schools are for. Which way to butcher block?
Meredith: Trauma two.

Lucy: Forgery, huh? Why am I not surprised?
Alex: Whatever, I just wanna get outta here so I can get to this game tonight.
Lucy: Wait, you have tickets? Tonight? It's the Pac-10 title game.
Alex: Yeah, I know.
Lucy: Win this and the Huskies get an automatic bid to March Madness.
Alex: Yeah, why do you think I'm powering through all these stupid charts? (Lucy grabs a stack of charts) Wh-What are you doing?
Lucy: Of my ten patients in labor right now, none of them are past three centimeters, which means I have some time to kill and you can't miss this game. Hand me a pen.
Alex: I thought you thought I was a loser.
Lucy: I think you're a little bit less of a loser now that I know you like college hoops.

Alex: Hey, Kepner!
April: Yeah?
Alex: How good are you at forging signatures?
April: Even if I were good at forging signatures I wouldn't do it. It's unethical and probably illegal, so I'm sorry, you're just gonna have to finish signing your charts on your own.

(Bailey is about to go into an on-call room)
Meredith: Dr. Bailey.
Bailey: Uh, I'm taking a nap. Uh, I'm sorry. What I mean to say is that I'm going to use this room to take a nap. Because that's what people do in these rooms when they're tired. Cause I have a child and a full-time job and work long hours, so I'm just tired. Just very, very tired. (fakes a yawn, and sees Eli round the corner behind Mer and she shakes her head 'no' at him. Mer looks confused)
Meredith: O-kay. I was just gonna ask you if you'd seen Dr. Altman.
Bailey: Dr. -- No! No, I have not seen Dr. Altman nor any other doctors. Or nurses. Because I will be in this room. Asleep. By myself.

Adele: I am perfectly fine waiting, I know you have far more pressing patients.
Meredith: Well, you're the chief's wife so that makes you my most pressing.

Bailey: I understand what you are suggesting. I know that it is done by many medicial professionals in this hospital but I am not a medicial professional who would ever consider...
Eli: Well, maybe you should consider it.
Bailey: Oh, lord. Do not test me.
Eli: Maybe you should consider the potential benefits, all the intensly exciting, toe-curling potential.

Cristina: What're you doing here? I thought you had the night off.
Alex: Yeah, I do. I'm not here. What's medicial records extension?
Meredith: Looks like you're here to me, which is good 'cause we're swamped. (holding charts) Take your pick: Impact bowel, suspicious rash or really smelly guy.
Alex: Forget it. I only came in because medicial records called and said I have to sign all my unsigned charts or they would suspend my privilidges.
Cristina: You're getting suspended? Dibs on his solo spleenectomy tomorrow.

Cristina: You brought this on yourself, you know. You volunteered to help run the ER?
Meredith: You know, I saw a need and I filled it, like any good chief resident candidate.
Cristina: Sado-masochistic chief resident candidate, maybe. (Mer laughs) What is up with you? You're all perky and cheerful.
Meredith: Ah, you know, it's the fertility drugs. We've stepped it up. I'm pumped full of hormones. You know what's perky?
Cristina: What?
Meredith: My boobs, they are huge. Am I supposed to like big boobs?
Cristina (laughs): Oh god, no. They'll make you fall over.

Meredith: Well, are you gonna help me at all or are you just gonna sit there and eat potato chips?
Cristina: I performed four back-to-back fem-pop bypasses today this is the first chair I've seen since 7am. And this is the first food I've had since yesterday. I choose potato chips.

Meredith (opening voiceover): How much can you actually accomplish in an hour? Run an errand maybe, sit in traffic, get an oil change. When you think about it an hour isn't very long. Sixty minutes. Thirty-six hundred seconds. That's it. In medicine, though, an hour is often everything. We call it the golden hour. That magical window of time that can determine whether a patient lives or dies.