Isobel "Izzie" Stevens
Dr. Arizona Robbins
Bailey: You okay?
Callie (depressed): I cut off a healthy leg. I just cut it off. It was for the patients own good, but still, I feel like a butcher.
Dr. Swender: My miracle case is on life support. I thought I had one. One miracle. I hate this job sometimes.
Callie: I don't know why we do this.
Bailey: Come on, come with me. (they follow her)
Callie: Okay, what are we doing here?
Bailey: We came to see that (they look at Arizona's patient that got better)
Dr. Swender: What?
Bailey: The joy. It comes around rarely, so rarely we forget it can happen. But that, that's why we do this. The joy.
Cristina (to Owen): God, it doesn't matter how good you are. Or how hard you work. You can do all the research, you can master all the latest techniques, I mean you can be the best. You can be the best surgeon in the world, but your patients are still gonna die. 'Cause the next day, or the next month, or the next year, you know they're just gonna get hit by a car. Or find a mole on their back. There's nothing you can do about it. (looks at Owen) I don't want you to die.
Meredith (teary eyed): I always thought it would be me. I'd get Alzheimer's like my mother and forget everyone. Lets go to city hall tomorrow. I don't wanna spend another day not being married to you.
Izzie: You can do it. You can cut into my brain again.
Izzie: You can do it, but I don't wanna end up a vegetable.
Meredith: Izzie, you won't.
Izzie: No, just listen. I want the surgery right now, but if something goes wrong I don't wanna end up on a ventilator. So, I'm signing a DNR.
George: Izzie? You paged me, are you okay?
Izzie: No, I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should have the surgery. I think I'm gonna die either way. You gotta tell me what to do.
George: You know what to do.
Izzie: No, I don't. I don't.
George: Yes, you do. You're just scared to do it. This back and forth is just fear. You've already made the decision. You made it. You made it the second you decided to fight this thing. Just look, look where you started. Look where you are now. I mean, now you're this incredible surgeon, and teacher. You're a doer, remember? You know exactly what you have to do.
Bailey: How did the neuroblastoma kid do?
Arizona: Oh, he was awesome. The surgery was totally easy and he's gonna make a full recovery. That's kinda why I wanted you there, because the kids you can save almost make up for the ones you can't.
Mark: I wasn't asking you to come see the condo. I was asking you to move in with me. If that's what you want.
Lexie: I do.
Mark: You do?
Lexie: Yeah. Not right away.
Mark: No, of course not. Like... a year.
Lexie: 10 years.
Mark: Wait, what now?
Lexie: Oh, uh, because I'll still be a resident for like 6 more years. And then I'd wanna get my practice up and running. So, how 'bout 7?
Mark: How about 5 years?
Lexie: I'll still be a resident.
Mark: So... Stevens and Karev are residents. Meredith's a resident. Bailey's a resident. All married or soon to be, and happily, or whatever.
Lexie: I'm sorry, ar-are you asking me t-to... marry you?
Mark: No... Why? Would you?
Lexie: Ah, should we be having this conversation?
Mark: No. Probably not.
Lexie: ... Okay. (they walk off in different directions)
Meredith: We need to go talk to Izzie.
Cristina: No, we are not talking Izzie into having surgery because your future husband is mad at you.
Meredith: But he has a right to be mad, because we didn't talk Izzie out of surgery as her doctors, we did it as her friends.
Cristina: Our job as doctors is to present the options, answer questions, and let the patients decide the course of treatment. That is what we did.
Meredith: Right. Except I may have presented her options as, "You're having this surgery, over my dead body!" He has a right to be mad.
Izzie: We haven't even been married 24 hours yet, and we've already had our first fight.
Allison: That's a good sign. Fighting leads to good make up sex. Are you watching birds fly around my head again? Am I like totally Snow White now?
Izzie: I just don't wanna hurt him.
Allison: He'll come around. It might take a while. But, once that tumor disappears, once you're back at work cutting open other people. He'll come around. Is it humming birds at least? I really like hummingbirds.
Charlie: Dr. Torres, Dr. O'Malley, I just wanna apologize for...
George: It's okay, Charlie.
Callie: You don't have to do that.
Charlie: No, I do. ... 'Cause you both were just trying to do your job back there, and your job is to put people back together, not take them apart. I get that. And I know that it doesn't make sense to you that I would want to go back to a place where people get hurt and die... but we're there because we're trying to help people, save people, the same as you. It's my job, who I am. ... If something happened, and suddenly, you couldn't be a doctor anymore, if someone told you, you couldn't do it anyomre... Wouldn't you wanna do everything you could possibly do to be a doctor again?
Owen: I realized the reason why I haven't told my mother I'm back is because part of me is still over there. I made a commitment to the army that I wasn't able to fulfill. If my unit hadn't been destroyed. I would still be there. So, no wonder I can't sleep at night, or look my mother in the eye. No wonder you and I, we can't move forward. My work there isn't done. Until it is, I have no business being here. So, I've decided to go back.
Cristina: I have to go.
Owen: Come on.
Cristina: I'm sorry, what am I supposed to say?
Owen: I could use your support.
Cristina: You don't have it. (walks away)
Alex: You're having the surgery.
Alex: Shepherd said that this is your last shot.
Izzie: Look I under-
Alex: I am your husband, and I say that you are having the surgery!
Izzie: What happened to "this is your decision."?
Alex: That was when I thought you were gonna make the right one! But, you chose wrong so now you don't get to make this decision on your own, because you married me! It's not just your life at stake anymore! It's my life, too. My life with you! So you can tell Swender whatever you want, but I'm telling Shepherd, and I'm telling you that you're having the surgery!
Richard: Dr. Robbins. Dr. Bailey performed Seattle Grace's first single incision gall bladder removal.
Arizona: Oh, wow! Cool.
Richard: Through the patient's belly button.
Arizona: And now it's kind of creepy.
Bailey: No, no, you should have seen it. No scars, no bleeding, in about half the time it would have taken laparoscopically.
Richard: You wanna do one after lunch? I've got another colie.
Bailey: You don't mind?
Arizona: Oh, so, I guess I'm on my own for this afternoon. My neuroblastoma. No, no, no, no, don't worry. You don't have to. You'll have the rest of your life to do neuroblastomas.
Bailey: Well, then I'll see you after lunch, sir. (walks off)
Arizona (giving him a look): Chief.
Richard: Yes, Dr. Robbins?
Richard: Did you wanna tell me something?
Arizona: I am going to cry, and I just want you to know that I know it's going to happen. And, I just want you to ignore it. And, I'm not crying because I'm upset. It's just what happens when I get mad at people of authority.
Richard: You're mad at me?
Arizona (starts crying): I am mad at you. And, I'm crying because you're the boss. My boss. Which brings up issues of authority and my dad, who you kind of remind me of. Not that you're old, but you command respect. People respect you. I mean, I know I do and I know Bailey does. Which is why I'm mad. Because, it's wrong, sir. It's wrong and mean to use a robot to lure Dr. Bailey back into general surgery, because I don't have a robot. All I have are little kids, and they're not as fun as a robot. And they're not shiny, and new, and silver, and they don't have things coming out of their belly buttons. But, I will fight you, and I will win, ... sir.
Richard: You think you can fight me, and win?
Richard: Good luck.
Arizona: Because I have something that you don't have! I have joy, sir!
Allison: Don't do it. That's my vote. Don't have the surgery. I didn't. I friggin' hate surgery.
Izzie: I'm hallucinating, Allison. I have really long conversations with dead people, and I see that aren't... Like right now, for example, I'm pretty certain there aren't birds flying over your head, because this is a hospital and that would be weird. But, that's what I'm seeing. I have a brain tumor. Am I really not gonna let them cut it out?
Allison: I didn't let them cut out mine. It's like... Okay, one minute I'm this college kid. Rowing crew, and being an idiot, and forgetting to bring my sunscreen, and thinking it doesn't matter. Because, I'm me, and life has turned out pretty good for me. And then the next minute they're cutting into my body every other week. I had 15 surgeries, and then I said... enough. Forget it. I'll rogue through in heaven, or whatever. And then, the IL2 worked. It worked. I come here every 3 weeks, I get my medicine, and I don't have a brain tumor anymore.
Meredith: You couldn't remember anything. You didn't know my name. You didn't know who Derek was. (tears up) You didn't know who Alex was. You couldn't even remember how to speak.
Izzie: How come I don't remember any of this?
Meredith: Because, the tumor is sitting right in the middle of everything that makes you, you. I was standing there talking to you exactly like i am now, only you weren't there. You weren't you. You were gone.
Izzie: So, what do I do?
Meredith: Well, Swender has a patient. Female, 22 years old, metastatic melanoma.
Izzie: Allison Clarke?
Meredith: After 3 months of the IL2 her mets were gone. All of them. You're not having this surgery.
Dr. Swender: The test impaired your memory to such a degree that I have to strongly recommend that you don't have the surgery.
Derek: Izzie, the test was the worst case scenario. The result has nothing to do with the surgery.
Dr. Swender: We don't know that.
Derek: But what I do know is that not operating is every bit as risky as the surgery itself. If not more. But, it's up to you.
Izzie: What do you think?
Alex: I think he's talking to you, not me.
Derek: I'll leave you two alone to discuss this.
Alex: Ah, I'll come with you. I have a couple of questions.
Izzie: Wait, Alex.
Alex: Think about what you want to do for a second, okay? I'll be right back. (everyone but Mer leaves the room. Mer closes the door)
Meredith: You are not having the surgery.
Meredith: Okay Iz, I am going to show you a series...
Izzie: A series of images that you want me to try to remember once Derek put the right side of my brain to sleep.
Izzie: Hit me. Show me what you got.
Izzie (Mer shows her a card): Is that a schnauzer or a scotty? How specific do I need to be?
Derek: Dog's fine.
Izzie (Mer shows her another card): It's either a 727 or a 747.
Izzie (Mer shows her the final card): Oh, a two story Victorian mansion.
Derek: We would also accept the word 'house'.
Izzie: Schnauzer, 747, mansion, Schnauzer, 747, mansion...
Derek: Or... dog, plane, house. I'm gonna put the right hemisphere of your brain to sleep now, okay?
Izzie: Dog, plane, house. (repeats this several times)
Derek: Now we just wait for the brain activity in that area to stop.
Izzie: Dog, plane, house. Dog, plane, hou....
Meredith (Der nods to Mer): Okay, Iz. Can you tell me what you saw?
Derek (Mer looks at him scared): Show her the cards.
Meredith (shows the cards): What's this? (Izzie looks at the card) Dog. Can you say dog? (Izzie tries to speak but just makes sounds, no words) Well, what's my name?
Derek: Just stick to the cards Meredith.
Meredith: Meredith. You know my name, you can say my name.
Izzie: Mmm... Mmmme...
Dr. Swender: This is what I was afraid of.
Meredith: Okay, who's Alex? Iz, okay. You don't have to speak. Just, nod your head for me if you know who Alex Karev is. (Mer looks at Der and is starting to tear up. Izzie looks around really scared)
Izzie: If Derek cuts the tumor out I could lose my memory, and if he doesn't I can die. I don't know what to do. Alex, tell me what to do.
Alex: Iz, I can't tell you what to do.
Izzie: Of course you can, you're my husband. That's what husbands do, they stomp around telling their wives what to do. It's your job.
Alex: My job is to support whatever you wanna do.
Izzie: I don't know what I wanna do. That's why I'm asking you. (turns to Mer and Cristina) Okay, I have an idea. Let's put it to a vote. All in favor of the surgery.
Meredith: No, we're not voting. No one's-- No one's voting.
Cristina: I'm opposed... (Alex gives her a look) ... to voting.
Izzie: Just decide for me. Please?
Alex: You don't have to know right now. Think about it.
Izzie: I don't have time.
Richard: You know, Dr. Chalikonda at Cleveland Clinic is doing single-incesion gall bladder removal through the belly button. We can try that on the next one. ... If you're up to it.
Bailey: Don't tease me, sir.
Richard: Oh, I'm not. Why should Dr. Claikonda have all the fun? (Bailey giggles, excited)
(Bailey is performing surgery using the Da Vinci and making Light Saver noises)
Richard: Dr. Bailey, are you making Light Saver noises?
Bailey: Uh, not anymore, sir.
Dr. Swender: You wanna remove her hippocampus?
Derek: One of them. It's a common procedure for seizure patients
Dr. Swender: Removing her hippocampus could compromise her memory, her speech, she wouldn't be able to practice medicine anymore.
Derek: I have performed this surgery hundreds of times.
Dr. Swender: On cancer patients?
Derek: No. But it's...
Izzie: If you do the surgery I could lose my memory?
Derek: ... It's unlikely but it's possible.
Izzie: And, if you don't do the surgery...
Dr. Swender: We could shrink the tumor with IL2.
Izzie: If the tumor doesn't kill me first.
Derek: Why take the chance?
Dr. Swender: Have you even done a WADA test to see how her memory would be affected?
Derek: Putting her brain to sleep and asking her to remember a bunch of flash cards is not an accurate assessment of the post surgical outcome.
Dr. Swender: But, it would tell us whether or not she could function afterwards. And, as Dr. Stevens primary physician...
Derek: Fine, I'll do it. It's unnecessary but...
Dr. Swender: The surgery is unnecessary.
Derek: The tumor is already symptomatic, she's having hallucinations.
Mark: Hey, I was thinking, you know, with ah, Derek and Meredith getting married, they ah, probably don't want us hanging out in the attic much longer. So, I was thinking I'd start looking for a condo.
Lexie: Perfect. Then you'd finally have a place of your own.
Mark: Actually, I was, you know, thinking maybe, you'd uh... you'd come with me.
Lexie: Absolutely, no-- I-I'd, I would love to see it. I'm so happy for you. (walks off)
Mark: How much of that did you hear?
Derek: You mean the part where you asked her to move in with you, or the part where she shot you down?
Derek: I was here for both. By the way, it's just way too early for you to be moving in with Lexie. You don't have to do everything I do.
Mark: This is not about you! I have my own future to think about. Life is short. Look at what's going on with Stevens.
Derek: Don't worry about Stevens. I've got a plan.
Richard: Who is Santa Claus?
Bailey: An old white man, who lives at the North Pole, and enters people's homes inappropriately.
Richard: No, I'm Santa Claus. (opens the door and shows her the Da Vinci)
Bailey: Oh, no you did not!
Richard: Oh, yes, I did. The Da Vinci SIHD surgical assistant.
Bailey: Tell me you didn't wait till I'd all but left the general surgery program to buy us a Da Vinci!
Richard: Care to take it out for a spin?
Bailey (excited): Santa!
Arizona: Dr. Bailey, are you busy today?
Bailey: That depends. Do you have any more dying children you want me to become overly attached to before they expire?
Arizona (shakes her head): I have an 8 year old neuroblastoma patient and he's gonna live. I can feel it in my bones. So, scrub in with me and see the joy.
Owen: So ah, I had a good session with my shrink this morning.
Cristina: Did you talk to her about your Mom? ... I mean, have you seen your Mom yet? 'Cause she lives, you know, a few miles away and she thinks your still in Iraq.
Owen: I'm planning to see her.
Cristina: When? (Owen is silent)
Allison (as Izzie is introducing Alex to her patient friends): Can you turn him around so we can see the butt?
Izzie: Yes. Alex?
Alex: Ha, what, are you kidding me?
Izzie (looks away): Oh! Big trauma just came in! (Alex turns around giving everyone a view of his butt)
Allison: That's quality booty.
Izzie (laughs): Right!
Allison: Congratulations, Izzie!
Izzie: Thank you. (Izzie and Alex laugh)
Alex: Are you sure you're okay to be up and around?
Izzie: Yes. I have good days and bad days. Plus, I don't wanna spend out entire honeymoon in a hospital bed.
Alex: This is not our honeymoon.
Izzie: It totally is. Come on, I want you to meet my friends.
Alex: I know all your friends.
Izzie: You know all my doctor friends. I'm a patient now, you're gonna meet my patient friends, and they're gonna love my new husband.
Alex: Don't make it a big deal.
Izzie: I'm not gonna make it a big deal. (they walk into the room) I'm a bride! (everyone claps)
Alex: Izz, come on. I'm getting her a real one.
Izzie: I love this one. (shows plastic ring) And, that makes it a real one.
Alex: Look, you went crazy. When Denny signed that DNR, you went crazy. Is that what you want? You want me cutting LVADs?
Alex: You want to wreck my career? Because I will! I will freakin' cut LVADs before I let you just...just wait! Stop! (they stop pushing the gurney) You don't get to quit. You don't get to quit on me. Please. Tear it up. The DNR. Tear it up!
Izzie: Where your eyes are supposed to be right now...I see white, sandy beaches. And there's an ocean behind your head, and there are ghosts wandering in and out. I can't live like this. And I can't live...if something goes wrong in that surgery, I don't want any extraordinary measures taken to keep me alive. It's not what I want. I went crazy when Denny signed the DNR because I didn't understand. I didn't understand, but now I do, and I need you to understand. I don't want you to go crazy. I want you to have a brilliant career, and I hope that I get to be there for that, but if I can't, I I just want to go to the other side. I don't know what's there, but it's got to be better than hospital beds and tubes down my throat. Please. Please don't cut LVADs. Just...if it comes down to it, just let me go. And right now, kiss me. Please, please just kiss me and close your eyes because the beach is so distracting.
Alex (crying): Alright. (kisses her)
Derek: She may be your friend but that doesn't give you the right to go in and talk her out of a surgery that you know nothing about. You're not her doctor. You're Swender's resident, which does not only make it inappropriate, it's unprofessional.
Meredith (walks in): Derek.
Derek: You crossed the line, Cristina.
Meredith: No, she didn't!
Derek: And this...
Meredith: I did. I'm the one who convinced Izzie not to have the surgery. I'm the one you should be yelling at right now.
Cristina: ... Well, I'm gonna go now. Unless you wanna apologize? (Derek gives her a look) Okay. (leaves)
Meredith: My mother disappeared right in front of me. Everything she had, everything she was. Her dignity, her memory... in the end, she wasn't even my mother anymore.
Derek: Izzie is not your mother. She doesn't have an untreatable brain condition. She has a tumor, and it can be treated. Don't make this personal, Meredith.
Meredith: I wasn't.
Derek: You went to Izzie, as her friend, and you made up her mind for her. So now, as my resident, you go back there and change it, because this tumor will kill her!
Alex: I need you to not talk medicine to me, okay? Talk to me like I'm your friend, like I'm the guy whose cereal you eat in the morning, and tell me what to do.
Derek: Karev, I can't tell you what to do.
Alex: What if it was Meredith? What would you do if you had to choose between spending a few more months with Meredith, knowing she was gonna die, watching her...watching her sick, or spending the rest of your life with someone who looked like Meredith, but wasn't her anymore? She's the one good thing that ever happened to me. The one good thing. So I need to know what to do. I need you to tell me, what if it was Meredith?
Derek (pauses): I would ask her to have the surgery.
Charlie: So you think I'll get to go back?
George: Are you sure you want to? I mean... why do you want to cut off your leg just to go back to the war? Don't you have family?
Charlie: You know what it's like to have family who don't know you, who don't get you, maybe even don't like you?
George: Yeah, actually, uh, I have brothers.
Charlie: Me, too. So there's that family. The guys I grew up with, and we've nothing in common, and then there's my guys in Iraq...my real family. Whatever we got into, we were in it together, but here, I'm alone. I'm nobody. And I've tried, you know? I've tried fitting in here. I've tried being a regular person. I've tried getting a job, but there aren't any. There are a lot of things I wanted to be in my life, a lot of things I wanted to do, but none of them's here.
Denny: Nice ring. Alex outdid himself. Izzie: We're gonna have beautiful kids, don't you think? Is four too many? Denny: Four is perfect. Izzie: Ideally, it would be two boys and two girls, one of which would definitely be a tomboy. And I was thinking I should have them pretty close together, though that might be stupid. Denny: Why wait? Izzie: Exactly. That way, if I'm not able to practice medicine anymore... Denny: You won't want to. Izzie: You think? Denny: Do you? Izzie: I'm asking you. Why do you keep agreeing with everything I say? Denny: Because I am you. I'm your tumor. You're talking to yourself. Izzie: Right. Denny: At least until you have surgery. If you have surgery. Are you gonna have the surgery? (end of hallucination)
Meredith: Hey. How long have you been up?
Derek: All night. I was trying to figure out how to get the tumor out of Izzie's brain.
Meredith: Why are you smiling?
Derek: Because I figured out how to do it. Once Izzie's in the clear, we're gonna go to the Bahamas and have our wedding on the beach. The wedding on the beach club. You can actually have drinks during ceremony.
Meredith (closing voiceover): We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it.
Meredith (opening voiceover): When something begins, you generally have no idea how it's going to end. The house you're going to sell becomes your home, the roommates you were forced to take in become your family and the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.
International Episode Titles:
Slovakia: Niečo o budúcnosti (Something About the Future)
Czech Republic: Na dny budoucí! (Here Is to Future Days)
Original International Air Dates:
Italy: July 6, 2009 on Fox Life
Latin America: July 6, 2009 on Sony Entertainment Television
Australia: July 9, 2009 on Channel 7
Germany: September 2, 2009 on ProSieben
The Netherlands: November 9, 2009 on Net5
Norway: January 19, 2010 on TV2
Slovakia: March 15, 2010 on STV1
Czech Republic: July 22, 2010 on Prima
Music Featured In This Episode:
1. Charmed Life by Joy Williams
2. Where the Road Meets the Sun by Katie Herzig & Matthew Perryman Jones
3. Hold On to Me by Sugarplum Fairies
4. Off I Go by Greg Laswell
Pre production title for this episode was Here's To Future Days.
This episode picks up the morning after the previous episode, What a Difference a Day Makes.
Alex (to Izzie): When Denny signed that DNR, you went crazy. Is that what you want? You want me cutting LVADs?
Alex is referring to the season 2 episode 17 Seconds, in which at the end of the episode, Izzie cuts Denny's LVAD wires.
George (to Izzie): You're a doer, remember?
This refers back to a conversation they had in the season 2 episode It's the End of The World.
Convo from It's the End of The World:
Izzie: We're watchers. We have to become more proactive, George. We have to become doers.
George: Fight for what we want.
Izzie: We have to do.
Chief: You know, Doctor Chalikonda at Cleveland Clinic is doing single incision gallbladder removal through the belly button?
Dr. Sricharan Chalikonda is in fact, a general surgeon at Cleveland Clinic who has done this procedure in real life.
Episode Title: Here's To The Future
Here's To The Future is a title to a song by REM.
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