Jackson: What time you got?
Jackson: Oh! It's supposed to come online at midnight.
Meredith: I mean, it's four minutes late. Come on, people.
Alex: Crazy doctors, they crashed the system.
Meredith: I already know I failed, so I don't know why I keep hitting the refresh button. (they all keep refreshing their phones)
Cristina: Okay, if anyone failed, it was me, because my guy had a vendetta.
Alex: Please. I've got the odds on failure.
Nurse (walks up): Are any of you on-call? I've got a trauma.
Jackson: Wait, wait, wait. I passed. I passed.
Cristina: I passed! I passed! Yes!
Meredith: I passed! I passed! Oh, my God!
Alex: It's not coming up!
Jackson: Here, here, use mine. (Alex looks at Jackson's phone and smiles, they all hug and celebrate)
Nick: Hey there, sunshine.
Arizona: You feelin' okay?
Nick: Yeah, you know, just groggy. You guys got good drugs in this place.
Arizona: Good. What the hell were you thinking?
Arizona: You're an idiot. You should have called me. I mean, w-why didn't you call me?! I'm a doctor. What do you think I do all day long?! Instead you go to some quack in Tibet. I mean, you should have freaking called me!
Nick: Naturopathy works, too, Flagstaff.
Arizona: Whoa! It's not Flagstaff! And it's not Phoenix and it's not Tempe. It's Arizona Robbins, M.D. Do you know what that means?
Nick: How do you spell it?
Arizona: It's not funny, Nick! Nothing is funny. You're dying! And you know what hell it was when Tim died because you were there, and-and you and I barely made it through that. So to do nothing for six years and then come when it's too late, I-I... (voice breaks)
Nick: Why do you think I didn't come to you sooner? As if after Tim died, I could... You think I don't know how this must feel for you?
Arizona: You're an idiot! I couldn't have helped Tim, but I could have helped you!
Lexie: Oh, hey.
Lexie: Thanks, uh, for today. For-- For letting me, uh...
Mark: You did a good job in there.
Mark: You okay?
Lexie: I love you. Oh, G-- Oh, my God. That just came... fly-flying out of my face, like it was s-s-some kind of-- I-I l... I love you. I just-- God! Did it again! (laughs) I... I-I-I-I love you. I-I do. I just-- I-I love you. And I have been trying not to say it. I have been trying so hard to just mash it down and ignore it and not say it. And Jackson is a great guy. He-he is, and he... he's gorgeous, and-and he's younger than you, and he doesn't have any grandkids or-or babies with his lesbian BFFs and he's an Avery, and-and he liked me, you know? He... he really liked me. But it was never gonna work out because I-I love you. I am so in love with you. And you're-you're... you're in me. It's-- You're like... it's-- It's like you're a disease. It's like I am infected by Mark Sloan. (laughs) And I just can't... (voice breaking) I can't think about anything or anybody, and I can't sleep. (crying) I can't breathe. I can't eat. And I love you. I just... I love you all the time, just every minute of every day. And I-I-I... I-I... love you. God, that feels good, just to-to say that... to... I am... I feel so much better. Just... I love you.
Richard: Well, you don't want to miss your flight.
Catherine: No, I don't want to miss my flight. I better go. (kisses his cheek) Richard, I don't regret last night one bit.
Richard: Neither do I. It's just bad timing. You know, we live in different cities. It's-- It's too complicated right now.
Catherine: Yeah, bad timing. Bye, Richard.
Richard: Bye, Catherine. Safe flight. Uh, call me if you hear anything more about the boards.
Catherine: Oh, I will. And call me when you get home, let me know you got there okay.
Richard: I will.
Catherine: Are... You going to the trauma and critical care conference in May?
Richard: In New Orleans? I'm speaking at it.
Catherine: Me, too. I'm at the Sonait house. Where are they putting you up?
Richard: Uh... (checks his phone) Windsor Court.
Catherine: Oh, no. The Sonait house is much better. The breakfast biscuits will make you jump up and down. When do you fly in?
Richard: I fly in Thursday.
Catherine: I fly in Thursday, too! (they both smile)
Alex: That was a trick question.
Examiner 1: You had all the facts to answer.
Alex: Yeah, but my answer was wrong. I'm gonna fail because of a trick question?
Examiner 2: The questions are designed to get your response--
Alex: You've got to be kidding me?!
Examiner 2: You missed your first session. You're lucky to be even getting this chance.
Alex: Yeah, I missed my first session for the best freakin' reason. I was with a patient. For months with this kid who-- who doesn't have a chance, not a chance. And we give them a chance and we try everything, and then when there's nothing left to do, I'm supposed to just walk away from his mother? I had to be there. I had to. And what-- What did I miss here, a few more hypothetical trick questions? What are you staring at? You guys are doctors. You're supposed to decide if I'm gonna be a doctor, and you can't understand that?
Examiner 2: Thank you, Dr. Karev.
Alex: It's Karev! Can you at least tell me if I passed? (the examiners are silent)
Dr. Thomas: You seem awfully sure of yourself.
Cristina: I'm sorry. Is that a question?
Dr. Thomas:: You feel threatened?
Cristina: Oh, have we moved on to psychology?
Dr. Thomas: I find your hostility curious.
Cristina: And I'm curious as to why you think me hostile.
Dr. Thomas: You know, if you don't agree with my approach, I wish you'd voice your issues.
Cristina: I-I don't disagree.
Dr. Thomas: I don't believe you.
Cristina: Are you calling me a liar, sir? ... Fine. You know what? Earlier when I said I was okay with that open procedure, I wasn't. That might have been okay when, like, Hawkeye and BJ did it on 'MASH', but this being the new century and all, I would have, as I said earlier, treated endoscopically.
Dr. Thomas: Then you lied earlier.
Cristina: You know what? Oh, God. I can answer these questions anyway you want using medical techniques from any era. So, how about if we just... You know, pick a decade you are comfortable with and go from there?
Dr Thomas: Well then, it's been a pleasure being witness to such a genius. I can now finally retired knowing that such advanced and creative minds are at work in the surgical field.
Cristina: That's it?
Dr. Thomas: Oh, I think we've had enough of an education today, Dr. Yang.
Cristina: But... There's still twenty minutes.
Dr. Thomas: No need. Oh... the best of luck.
(Meredith is throwing up in a trash can)
Examiner 1: Dr. Grey, we're gonna have to call this. You can take the exam again next year. And we won't-- we won't count this as a failure so please--
Meredith: Okay, you're doctors, you can't handle a little vomit?
Examiner 2: Dr. Grey, its really okay--
Meredith: I would repair it with an abdominal approach, reduce the size of the hernia contents, excise the sac, close the hiatus and perform a floppy nissen for antireflux and gastropexy. But ask me something else, because I've known that answer since I was like, 12 years old. My mother practically invented the floppy nissen. So, keep them coming, but don't go easy on me.
Cristina: I'd locate the fistula endoscopically then inject fibrin glue.
Dr. Thomas: What about an abscess?
Cristina: What about it?
Dr. Thomas: Well, apparentaley you ruled it out. It just feels a bit... cavalier, doesn't it?
Cristina: If you say so. I'm having a hard time understanding why I would open her up when I could treat it endoscopically.
Dr. Thomas: Precisely my question, Dr. Yang.
Cristina: I've treated this condition a dozen times.
Dr. Thomas: And I a thousand times.
Cristina: If you would rather I open her up and do tube duodenostomy, that's fine... too. It's more invasive, but fine.
Dr. Thomas: Mmhmm.
Derek: The temporalis muscle is atrophied. Any idea why, Dr. Grey?
Lexie: Uh, lack of use? It had nowhere to attach since the bone was gone.
Derek: That's right. It's too late for this muscle. It's missed its chance to attach.
Mark: Why are we talking about the temporalis?
Derek: Teachable moment, Dr. Sloan. Stay out of it. Once you inject the fat into Charlie's temple, the muscle will--
Mark: Again with the muscle?
Derek: Yeah, the once healthy muscle will slowly wither to nothing all alone, surrounded by a thick layer of fat. (Lexie and Derek share a look)
Mark: Mm. Very crafty, Dr. Shepherd. Message received, loud and clear.
Arizona: You know, Nick, did a big spread in 'National Geographic' once on this school for orphan girls in Calcutta, and he-- he sent them a bunch of cameras. I think that it was polaroids so they wouldn't have to pay for the film to get processed... Anyways, you know, a couple of those girls actually became photographers. Like professionals. Isn't that amazing?
Bailey: We're not going to kill your friend.
Arizona: What? I know. I'm just-- I'm saying...
Callie: Hey, does he save puppies, too?
Arizona: Less sarcasm. A little more focus. (Callie notices something during the surgery)
Callie: Oh, shoot. We were supposed to bring snack today to the day care for all the kids.
Callie: Yeah, that mom from psych asked if we would switch with her, and I said we would and then I forgot.
Arizona: You need to write this stuff down. I--
Callie: I know, I know. I'm so sorry. (Arizona groans) Sorry. (Arizona leaves)
Bailey: You didn't forget snack today, did you?
Callie: No, I'm seeing mets in the vessels. Look at this.
Bailey: Damn. And if they're here...
Callie: They're gonna be everywhere.
Examiner 1: You find out the patient has advanced metastatic disease and is terminal. What do you do?
April: Honestly, I'd pray for them. I know that's not the right answer but it's what I'd do first. Or at least, if you asked me yesterday that's what I'd do. Now, I'm not so sure if he's listening.
Examiner 2: Dr. Kepner, this is highly inappropriate.
April: Yeah, well, so is having premarital sex in the men's room with a really good friend, but that just happened, so... (laughs) You know, I have been surrounded by scientists for a decade now, holding back my feelings about my relationship with God 'cause I was afraid of being laughed at or judged or considered less of a doctor. I was hiding, ashamed to admit that I love him, that his is the one relationship I count on. And now-- Now I'm not sure. If I just screwed that up or freed myself from its limitations. I... The one thing I know for sure, though, is... I think I'm done hiding.
Examiner 1: Dr. Kepner, we asked you a question.
April: Yes. I would do a palliative endoscopic stenting.
(On the phone)
Meredith: Uh, I lied to you.
Derek: About what?
Meredith: I'm not okay. I might be dying, I think our daughter tried to kill me with her flu for being a bad mother.
Derek: Why didn't you tell me before?
Meredith: I'm failing, Derek, and I-- and I-I don't think I can go back in there. I just can't... I mean... Will you still love me if I fail?
Derek: You want me to yell at you or tell you to come home?
Meredith: I want you to tell me what to do.
Derek: The test is a mirror.
Meredith: What are you talking about?
Derek: The test... it's a mirror.
Meredith: Reflecting my sickly incompetence? Are you saying that I won't like myself if I give up right now, that I won't be able to look myself in the mirror if I quit?
Derek: Whatever you decide, I will still love you.
Meredith: No, you won't. Nobody loves a quitter.
Derek: Good luck, Meredith.
Owen: Dr. Bailey, where are the candidates?
Derek: Oh, over there. Destroying my appetite.
Bailey: You know, I never thought that I would've said this, but we ned to keep our people, people. We haven't put in all this training and put up with all their nonsense to go groveling at the feet of bread sniffers.
Owen: Kepner's already gotten job offers at four different programs.
Mark: Well, Grey's not going anywhere. Not without Yang anyway.
Owen: Cristina has options.
Bailey: My contact in Boston may have mentioned that Meredith said their program's her first choice.
Mark (to Derek): You're building a house.
Derek: Harvard has an excellent neurosurgery department.
Derek: And they have plenty of really nice houses.
Mark: Don't be all cryptic and then walk away.
April: Jackson, how's it going?
Jackson: Not so good, you?
April: I'm dying in there. I am actually failing.
Jackson: You, too? Because mine is a total fiasco.
April: They think I'm insane!
Jackson: Oh, they're toying with me.
April: I am self-destructing into a puddle of sweat. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Jackson: Oh, I know exactly what is wrong with me. And I still can't real it in.
April (frantic): I broke my promise to Jesus and now I can't even talk to him a-and I need him. He's the only one who can calm me down!
Jackson: Why the hell did you do it? Why'd you let me?
April: I don't know!
Jackson: You said it was okay!
April: I know!
Jackson: I knew you'd regret it!
April: Stop yelling! Why are you yelling at me?!
Jackson: Because I'm all messed up now, too. I mean, what am I? I-I'm-- I'm now the guy that made you break your promise to Jesus? I am not that guy! Alright? That guy is gross, okay? It's all very unbecoming, especially for an Avery.
April: What? Are you-- Are you honestly comparing breaking my promise to Jesus with putting a tiny dent in your family crest?
Jackson: You're right and I'm sorry. My mom is the examiner in the room right next to mine. It's throwing me. I know. It's-- It's I'm worried about my mom and what she's going to think if I fail. It's pathetic. Right?
April: No. God, no, Jackson. It's not pathetic. That's the most important relationship in your life. (sighs) The problem isn't that I broke my promise. That's not the problem. The problem is... The problem is...
Jackson: That it felt good.
April: It felt good.
Jackson: I shouldn't have taken advantage.
April (laughs): Taken advantage? What?
Jackson: Oh, we should-- We should go.
April: Taken advantage? I kissed you, remember?
Jackson: Yeah, but I kissed you back.
April: Yeah, and then I unbuttoned your shirt.
Jackson: Yeah, and then I... pulled up that skirt.
April: Yeah, but then I kissed your neck.
Jackson (locks bathroom door and walks over to her): Yeah, and then I took off your shirt.
April: And I... But then I unbuckled your belt.
Jackson: And then... I slipped my hand up your back.
April: And I wrapped my arms around your neck. (April does this, Jackson lifts her on the counter)
Jackson: And then I...
April: Then you... (they start making out)
Bailey: Hey, the applicants keep asking to see the gym. Should I show it to 'em? 'Cause you know, I don't want the cobwebs and sweaty menthol stench to scare them--
Derek: Since when did I become the advice columnist?
Bailey: Touchy, touch.
Derek: Well, I'm sorry. It's just that no one can seem to make up their own mind today.
Bailey: Oh. People do make up their own minds, they just need a little help getting there.
Derek: What do you mean?
Bailey: Okay, if someone comes to me with a problem, I give them a metaphor.
Derek: A metaphor?
Bailey: A figure of speech which--
Derek: Yes, I know what a metaphor is.
Bailey: Fantastic. Now the next time someone comes to you with a problem, you just give them a metaphor.
Derek: Any kind of metaphor?
Bailey: See? That's the beauty of it. They'll draw some meaning from it and it'll help them make the decision they were gonna make in the first place.
Derek: I'll stick with being honest, thank you.
Bailey: Ah, suit yourself, but when they take your advice and it doesn't work out, honesty can bite you in the ass.
Meredith: Are all your questions gross?
Cristina: Gross? What do you mean, gross?
Meredith: Uh, they keep asking me about bowels and bloody stools?
Cristina: It's general surgery. What do you expect?
Meredith: You're not helping, at all.
Cristina: My guy is a freakin' fossil. The last time he was in the O.R, it was lit by candles.
Meredith: Maybe I'll just live in here, in this stall, in my filth... til I die. (April knocks on the door)
Cristina: Sick woman in here, go away.
April: Uh, I - I really need to get in there.
Cristina: Uh, sorry, closed for maintenance.
April: Please let me in.
Cristina: Come back later.
Derek: I'm going to be your big brother for 30 seconds.
Derek: Uh, Julia wants to have a baby with Mark.
Lexie: She what? What did she say?
Derek: Well, I don't know.
Lexie: What do you mean, you don't know? Wh-What did he say? How did it go down?
Derek: My 30 seconds of brotherly advice is over. I gotta go check on a patient.
Lexie: No, I-- Uh, does he want to do it? I mean, did it seem like he was excited about it? Or does he seem like, 'that's an insane idea'? Because it is. I hope you told him that it's an insane... idea.
Callie (examining Nick): Does that hurt? How about... (Nick groans) Yeah, that's what happens when you wait six years to get treated.
Nick: So she's not shy.
Arizona: Yeah, I know. I never went for shy.
Nick: Yeah. I've been working with a naturopath. I figured I'd try the nontraditional route. It helped. (Arizona makes a face) It did. But then the pain started to kick up, so I saw a real doctor. And he was gonna send me to an orthopedic surgeon but then I was like, 'Hold up. Yuma Robbins just married one of those.' Not that it was a real wedding. (they laugh)
Callie: Excuse me?
Arizona: Oh, um, she thinks you're serious.
Nick: Oh, I am serious. Tucson's already married.
Arizona: Mmhmm. To him.
Nick: She loves me.
Arizona: We were ten, it was in my tree house and we had rings made out of crabgrass. You're probably the last guy I ever kissed.
Nick: It was a beautiful ceremony. Time officiated, her brother. He made me swear to stop pulling the streamers off of her bike. It was an issue back then.
Nick (about Callie): Is she always like that or am I dying?
Arizona: No, you are going to be fine, because she is a genius with a scalpel. She'll be in and out, and you won't even know it. And they're not even gonna use drugs. Nope, nope, just chamomile tea.
Nick (chuckles): You are so damn cute. How does she get through a work day with you around?
Arizona (laughs): I don't know.
Nick: I forgot how much I missed you.
Arizona: Me, too.
Jackson: How are you everywhere?
Catherine: How'd it go for you in there? ... Look, baby, I know you were shocked--
Jackson: Shocked?! Shocked at the sight of my mother half naked with a senior attending at my hospital? No, far from it. Okay? I mean, it's kind of par for the course for you, right, Mom? But every door that I open, every corner that I turn, there you are.
Catherine: I know that I'm your mother. But I'm also a woman. I have needs. (Jackson groans) If you don't want to talk about this like an adult, don't bring it up.
Jackson: Wait a second. Did I-- Did I bring it up?
Catherine: Don't play games. Just talk to me.
Jackson: Just leave me alone. I'm in the middle of my freakin' boards! (walks off) Are you following me, Mom?
Catherine: I'm an examiner in the room next to yours.
Jackson: Of course you are.
Cristina: The first session was so easy.
Meredith: I want to punch your face. (throws up again)
Owen: I am counting on you to treat these candidates extremely well. Show them whatever they want to see. Really woo them.
Owen: Yeah, woo. You know, uh--
Bailey: What about me says woo?
Owen: After the boards we might be losing some very good doctors to other programs. Now, if that happens we have to be sure that we have some fresh talent ready and willing to take their place, so I am asking you, as chief, please woo their socks off.
Bailey: For you, just this once. I will woo.
Owen: Uh, their socks off?
Bailey: Don't push it.
Mark: Julia went all F.H.S on me this morning.
Derek: Is that a sexual term? You know what? Never-- You know, I don't want to know.
Mark: She wants a baby. She wants my baby.
Derek: What'd you say?
Mark: Nothing. It's crazy. Until you think about it and realize it's kind of genius. I love Julia. And I want Sofia to have some siblings to grow up with. Why wouldn't I do it?
Derek: Are you asking me if you should have a baby?
Mark: Well, you think I shouldn't?
Derek: Have a baby or ask me if you should have a baby?
Mark: So you think I should do it?
Derek: Well, do you want Julia to be in your life forever?
Mark: You think I shouldn't do it?
Derek: Uh, do you have to answer that right now?
Lexie (walks up): Hey. Answer what?
Derek: We were just talking about the, uh, cranioplasty.
Lexie: Oh, that's exciting, rght?
Callie (reading her texts): Julia wants to have a baby with Mark.
Arizona: Oh, I- I can't even deal with that right now.
Arizona: I should have picked him up myself. I mean, I-- What's wrong with me?
Callie: Okay, I thought that he was your brother's best friend, not yours.
Arizona: Well, we were all super close, and he was my rock when Tim died. I just-- Oh, god, I let my rock take a cab.
Callie: Oh, so you let him take a cab.
Arizona: Well, I mean, listen, he just flew in from Tibet and he has cancer. I mean, the least I could do is pick him up at the baggage claim.
Callie: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Okay, you need to chill out. Look, I know, that you're worried, but as far as cancers go, I mean, his is very slow growing. He told you he found out what, six months ago? I mean... He could be fine.
Arizona: Yeah. Well, with you in the O.R I'm not worried. You're gonna love him, and he's gonna love you.
Callie: Well, I'm taking his tumor out, it's the least he could do.
Mark: Okay, who wants some more pancakes?
Julia: You haven't had any. Sit down.
Mark: I can't sit still. He's taking his text right now.
Julia: It's cute you being nervous for Jackson.
Mark: You want some more juice?
Julia: It's paternal. You're a natural father.
Mark: Are you sure you don't want anything? I could make some bacon--
Julia: We should have a baby. D-Don't freak out. I-I mean, I like... this. I like you. I like your kid. And I like your kid's moms. And, I-- You-- You know, you don't have to say anything right now. Just g-go back to worrying about Jackson, and we-- we can talk about this later. Um, I would say don't rush, but actually my FSH levels would suggest that rushing a little might not be the worst thing in the world.
Richard: Hey. You okay?
Catherine: I'm not sure.
Richard: I- I hope you're not worried about last night.
Catherine: I'm not worried about last night. I'm worried because I checked with some of my friends on the committee, and one of your Seattle Grace doctors didn't pass.
Richard: Any idea who?
Catherine: They weren't sure. But if it's Jackson, he'll blame me forever.
Meredith: That was hell. Actual, physical hell.
Cristina: I think I went a tad overboard. A lot overboard.
Meredith: They took something from me.
Jackson: Okay, that wasn't an exam. That was an interrogation.
Cristina: Like, way... way overboard.
Meredith: The mind games.
April: The trick questions.
Jackson: It felt like al-Quieda in there.
Meredith: The next test is June.
Cristina: June's not bad.
Jackson: What's done is done. Let's just not even talk about it anymore.
Meredith (opening voiceover): Carpe diem. How annoying is carpe diem? How are you supposed to plan a life? A career? A family? If you're always "carpe"-ing the "diem"? If we all seized every moment of every day, there wouldn't be doctors. Who'd sit through med school? We'd all be too busy living in the now, whatever that means.
Meredith (closing voiceover): I'll admit the Romans had a point. You gotta to live life. And living means that every morning when you wake up you have to chose between seizing what life offers in the moment and forging ahead, no matter the weather or closing the curtains and shutting out the day.
"Don't You Give Up On Me" by Milo Greene (Derek unwraps the bandage around Charlie's head. Residents pile off of a shuttle bus. April goes to the ER.)
"City Boy (K.K.S. Remix)" by White Arrows (Jackson bumps into Catherine. April struggles.)
"Bells" by The Naked and Famous (April is in her camisole, trying to dry her blouse. April and Jackson commiserate over the exam. They start yelling. Two people make out.)
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: May 3, 2012 on CTV
Norway: September 25, 2012 on TV2
Germany: December 19, 2012 on ProSieben
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