The new batch of interns find themselves involved in all the drama at Seattle Grace: Meredith asks Heather to go above and beyond to help fix Derek's hand; Cristina starts a healthy competition between Stephanie and Leah, which inadvertently leads to a medical emergency for Cristina's patient; Alex sees Jo in a new light as they work to save a baby's life, and April teaches Shane a valuable lesson during "lumps and bumps" duty.moreless
Dr. Miranda Bailey
Dr. Richard Webber
Dr. Cristina Yang
Dr. Alex Karev
Dr. Meredith Grey
Dr. Derek Shepherd
Dr. Josephine "Jo" Wilson
Jo: I have never been this tired, ever.
Heather (sitting in front of her locker): I have a jacket. It's so far away.
Stephanie: I just want to go home.
Shane: Hunt really put you guys on probation? (Leah is crying and Stephanie puts a hand on her shoulder)
Derek (seeing Heather walk by): Hey, you. (Heather stops) Yeah, you.
Heather: Dr. Shepherd.
Derek: Did you or did you not shut things down with my sisters?
Meredith: Don't bring Brooks into this.
Derek: You brought Brooks into this. They are your family and they want to help you. Right?
Heather: Oh, oh. You're asking me? Yes. Um, they seemed willing to help.
Derek: Of course they want to help me. I practically raised them. But if my sisters find out that I need help-- Look, who did you call so I can call and shut this down?
Meredith: Don't tell him that.
Derek: Don't tell her not to tell me.
Heather: Alright, enough. You know that live nerves are better than dead ones. Even I know that, and I'm an intern. (to Mer) And, you. You put me in a really awkward position today. You just threw me to the wolves. Not that I'm comparing your sisters to wolves. But oh my, god. They're out for blood. They are furious with you that you didn't call them yourself. And they told me somethings. Okay? Unkind things. And now I know stories about you. And you, too. I know things about both of you that I don't want to know. I don't want to be in on your secrets or your fights. It makes me really, really, really uncomfortable.
Lizzie (walks up): And let me guess. Your parents had a messy divorce... (Derek groans) and always put you in the middle. Am I right?
Heather: How'd you know that?
Lizzie: Lucky guess. Lizzie. One of the wolves. Good to see you, Mer. I hope you got some baby pictures handy because I did not take the red-eye just so my brother could hack my nerves into hamburger meat.
Shane: Guess what? Butt-scab lady was seen by oncology last night. The mass was malignant. They said I might have got it all.
April: What are you doing here?
Shane: I told you I'd come help with the rest of your lumps and bumps today.
April: Who put you up to this? Because nobody slums it down here unless they have to.
Shane: I'm here because I want to be. (April laughs) All I ever wanted to be was a surgeon. And now Torres just chose me to scrub in on one of the coolest surgeries I'll ever see because of you. You gave me 27 solo procedures yesterday. At least one of them saved a woman's life. I'm grateful for this job and I'm grateful to you. I'm hardly slumming it. So I'm gonna glove up and I'm gonna help you with your lumps, and you're gonna like it.
April: Okay, fine. But you get the nasty smelling green one in bed two.
Leah: This was not just my fault.
Stephanie: It sure as hell wasn't mine.
Cristina: You could have killed her. I understand competition and drive, but you two, you need to figure out how to work together, and you better do it fast. You're both my service.
Owen (walks up): I'll do you one better. You're both banned from the O.R. until further notice.
Cristina: Thank you.
Alex: Why aren't you in the tunnels? Interns always hang out in the tunnels. This place smells like fish. Look, I don't know what your deal is, but you can't go around assaulting patients.
Jo: She abandoning her baby.
Alex: Then let the cops handle it. It's not your job, princess.
Jo: Stop calling me princess! (sighs) My mother left me at a fire station when I was two weeks old. I got bumped around foster hoes 'til I was 16, when I took matters into my own hands and started living out of a car. I parked it behind the gym of my high school so I could sneak in and use the showers before class. My home-ec teacher-- Ms. Schmidt-- she let me do my laundry there for free. And, yeah, I got into good schools because I worked my ass off. And when I walked across that stage at graduation, I didn't have a cheering section filled with my richy-rich family. I had one person-- Ms. Schmidt. That's it. She's the one who gave me this watch when I got the job. Her son works for the company.
Alex (sits down next to her): It is a nice watch.
Callie: This is it, people. You're chance to scrub in on one of the coolest, most innovative surgeries you will ever see. (Heather yawns) Was that a yawn? Avery, did you see a yawn?
Jackson: Brooks, you're out.
Jackson: If you can't handle one overnight shift, you can't handle this surgery. Look alive, people.
Callie: Alright. Now, the rest of you will each get a chance to examine our patient before we move on to the skills lab portion of the contest. Dr. Avery, will you bring in our patient? (Jackson brings Derek in the room)
Jackson: Now Dr. Torres and I will be performing a nerve transplant on Dr. Shepherd's injured hand. We need an intern we can trust.
Callie: And that's sayin' a lot, because we don't trust any of you people yet. Wilson, you're up. (Jo gets up to examine Derek)
Derek: Oh, I'm not gonna bite you, Wilson.
Callie: And you're done. (Jo sits back down) Edwards. (Stephanie gets up to examine Derek)
Stephanie: Did you do a proximal or distal repair the first time?
Callie: You should know that by looking at the scars. You're done. You're done. (Stephanie sits back down) Ross. (Shane gets up to examine Derek)
Shane: Hi, I'm Dr. Ross.
Derek: Yeah, I know who you are, Shane.
Shane: I know. I was just... Um... Do you have any pain with prehension or pronation?
Derek: Yeah. It's getting worse, though.
Shane: Okay. (moves Derek's arm and hand) I know this must be scary for you. It would be for me, that's for sure. But Dr. Torres and Dr. Avery, they're really talented. They're gonna take really good care of you. I know it.
Callie: Okay, we're done. I've selected our winner. Ross is the only one who actually treated the patient like a patient. Congratulations. You're on the team.
Callie: You can thank me later. He gets grouchy.
Heather (taking Jo's coffee): Oh, give me that coffee. I'm so tired right now, I'm sleepwalking. Which I do, by the way. In college, I sleptwalk into this guy's room, and when I woke up, we were doing it.
Heather: No, he was hot. (they laugh)
Stephanie (walks up): Oh, where did you get that? The coffee cart's closed.
Jo: Would you judged me if I told you I stole it from a nurse when she wasn't looking?
Leah: She's a stealer, too. Little baby hearts. No wonder you guys get along so well.
Shane (walks up): Aren't you supposed to be with Karev in the ecmo room?
Jo: Yeah, but I keep falling asleep, so he sent me out to walk around and wake myself up because a tiny, fragile baby's life is in my very tired hands.
Leah: That's frightening.
Shane: No, it's not. It's awesome. All the attednings are asleep right now, and we're in charge. We're saving lives.
Heather: I'm making phone calls.
Shane: Uh, lifesaving phone calls.
Leah: And you're removing warts.
Shane: And saving lives.
Leah: And she's stealing surgeries from me.
Shane: Stop complaining. This is it, you know? We're surgeons. We're no longer med students waiting to be surgeons.
Alex: You sure you're not asleep with your eyes open? You've been staring at that kid for an hour.
Jo: She didn't even want to see him. She cared more about her best friend's stupid pizza party than seeing her child.
Alex: Well, she's 15.
Jo: It doesn't matter. She outta--
Alex: You don't know her story. Not everybody lives in a perfect little world like you.
Jo: I never said my world was perfect.
Alex: Oh... Princeton, Harvard, perfect G.P.A. Look, not all of us go to Ivy league schools or drive fancy cars or rely on our richy-rich daddies to bankroll our pretty little lives. Some of us have to overcome more than others.
Jo: I know that.
Alex: So... get over it, princess. You're in no position to judge.
Jo: Did you also know that I blow my nose with $100 bills?
Alex: Ha. Ha.
Jo: And my 1-year-old birthday cake was made out of caviar.
Jo: Also, in one of the rooms of my obscenely big mansion, instead of paint, I just lined the walls with mink.
Alex (chuckles): Shut up.
Jo: It's true. Guess how many fireplaces I've got.
Jo: 27. Well, 28 if you count the butler's room. But, please. He's the help.
Alex: Explains a lot.
Shane (watching Cristina do a heart transplant surgery): I can't wait to scrub in on something like that.
Leah: It should be me down there.
Shane: Look at that. Yang just ligated the pulmonary artery with one stitch. She's incredible.
Owen: Yes, she is.
Heather: Oh my, god. Congratulations!
Meredith: No! Did the doctor call back?
Heather: Yes. To confirm your appointment for the 8-week ultrasound?
Meredith: So you know that?
Heather: I do?
Meredith: Okay, let's be clear. You never heard anything. You know nothing. And you don't ever mention any of this to anyone, ever. You got it? Is there anything else you would like to say before we drop this subject for the rest of eternity?
April: Ugh, I can't believe we didn't get through everybody today. And now... I am on lumps and bumps again tomorrow.
Shane: Still, we got through a bunch of--
April: Word of advice. You want to avoid lump and bump day again, just make sure you pass your stupid boards, or you will always get stuck doing... Sorry. Um... You can go, Ross. That's all.
Shane: You want me to help tomorrow?
April: Don't mock me, Ross. It's been a long day. Just... get outta here.
Meredith: What are you doing?
Heather: Oh. Uh, I'm sorry. I-I was just--
Meredith: Never mind, I don't care. Go away.
Leah: Don't even try to get in on the transplant. It's mine.
Stephanie: We don't have to do this. The fighting, the competing, it's--
Leah: What's wrong? You worried that Yang's starting to like me better?
Cristina (walks up): Please tell me the heart is on it's way.
Stephanie: The harvest team will be here in 30 minutes.
Cristina: Good. What's wrong with your face?
Stephanie: I had to tell Noah his son gets a transplant in front of Laura. It's like I personally stole her daughter's heart.
Cristina: An equation decides where the heart goes, not us.
Stephanie: I know.
Cristina: Scrub in on the transplant, grumpy. It'll cheer you up. (walks off)
Leah (mocking Stephanie): 'Gosh. I'm so sad and sensitive. I really could use some cheering up, Dr. Yang.' Nicely done.
Meredith (about her phone): Are you gonna get that?
Heather (answering Mer's phone): Hello. Dr. Grey's phone, Heather speaking. Oh, hey, Lizzie. Yeah, I know. She just keeps getting cuter every day. Um... okay. I'll ask. Great. Bye. (hangs up)
Meredith: What'd she say?
Heather: That Zola's the cutest niece ever and she's wondering if you're visiting for Christmas, 'cause there should be snow.
Callie: Okay. What about the nerve?
Heather: Uh, she's getting back to me. (Mer's phone rings, she answers) Hi, again. Mmhmm. I understand. It is a lot to ask. Hang on. (Heather's phone rings, she answers) Heather Brooks. Hi, Kathleen. How did you get my cell phone number? Sorry, hang on. (talks into Mer's phone) Yes, Liz. I-I have Kathleen on another line. I-I don't know if she booked her flight yet. Please don't make me repeat all of that to her.
(They are all sitting outside)
Stephanie: Leah's a shark. I don't know why Yang can't see it.
Jo: Oh, how great does this feel? Hit me, vitamin D. Mama needs a power nap.
Heather: I smell crab cakes.
Stephanie: We're by the kitchen.
Heather: Nah, that's not crab cakes, it's meatloaf. I love/hate it so much. (laughs)
Shane (walks outside): Oh, man. It's like Vegas in there. No idea when it's day or night.
Heather: Sun, meet Shane. Shane, sun.
Shane: Nice change from the black hole of sepsis I've been staring at for the past half-hour. You should see the thing growing on this one woman's ass. It is so nasty.
Jo: It wouldn't bother me. I am just fine with nasty things. Although all Karev does is call me 'princess.' What is that? I don't act like some priss, do I? (they are all silent) Am I prissy? (they all look at her) What? I am not prissy. (spits) How do you like that?
Stephanie: You spit like a priss.
Heather (to Shane, who picks up Mer's ringing phone): Just let it go to voice mail. I can't handle another raging Shepherd sister.
Shane: Actually, I think you should take this. It says 'Bigfoot 9-1-1.' (Heather grabs the phone and runs off)
(Shane is trying not to throw up)
April: What is wrong with you?
Shane: That lady has the most disgusting butt scab. It's just--
April: Oh, my gosh. You're a child. (goes into the room, and comes out looking sick)
Arizona: Karev, I heard you had a crash, ecmo. You need my help? You need me to take over?
Alex: No, no. Just connecting it to the circuit. Okay. Initiate bypass. (the baby's heartrate stablizes) We did it. Son of a bitch.
Arizona: And it seems like only yesterday that I was showing you how to do your first pulmonary hypoplasia. I hope you're taking notes, Wilson. He's one of the good ones. (walks out)
Jo: So what's next?
Alex: Well, now that he's hooked up to ecmo, the baby needs to monitored 24/7. Gonna be a long day and a longer night. You might want to go grab a power nap, princess.
Jo: Why do you keep calling princess?
Alex: Have you seen yourself?
Richard (noticing Heather): Um... Does she belong to any of you?
Meredith: Brooks, do I look like I enjoy multitasking? What's the report?
Heather: I-I left messages for Kathleen and Amy. Nancy hung up on me. I called her back. She hung up on me again so I'm guess that she's a 'no.' But I did talk to Lizzie, and she might be in. Also, she wanted to know what size Zola wears now. And I thought maybe a 2-T, but that's just a guess. Anyway, can I scrub in?
Derek (walks in): Meredith. I just got a call from Lizzie. She's under the impression she's gonna donate a nerve to me.
Heather: Yay. (Derek glares at her) Not yay. I thought I made it clear I didn't want my family involved.
Callie: Well, a live donor nerve is preferable, and it's definitely easier to find.
Derek: My hand, my sisters, my decision.
Meredith: The longer we wait, the less chance we have that it will work. And we need this to work, sooner rather than later.
Bailey: Sounds like a no-brainer to me. But what do I know? I don't have sisters.
Derek: Who'd you get to make the calls? (they all look towards Heather, who looks away) Call them all back and undo what you did. Now. (walks out)
Meredith (to Heather): Don't undo a thing.
Stephanie: Dude, I'm a rockstar. I just rocked a pacemaker post-op dictation on my own. That is how much Yang trusts me.
Shane: That's cool. Not as cool as this maybe. (holds up a container)
Stephanie: That's disgusting.
Stephanie: Hey, have you seen Leah? 'Cause I have some more gloating to do.
Shane: Oh, yeah. I just passed her. 9-1-1 in the NICU I think. (Stephanie walks off)
April (after an outpatient surgery): What was that?
Shane: I don't know. But it's disgusting. You were, like, a magician with a handkerchief.
April: Ross, these lumps are attached to people. Scared people. You need to acknowledge that fear and ease it. You look them in the eye, you talk to them like you care. Imagine if it were you and I was pulling a wormy handkerchief out of your flesh. I... I'm sure you think this is beneath you. Okay? I get it. I know you guys call me 'The Dud.' But that doesn't mean that these patients don't deserve your respect and care, now matter how crappy you feel. Do you understand?
Shane (nervous): I... I think so.
April: Enough with the attitude!
Meredith: Brooks, reach into my left pocket. Go into my phone book. Go to 'Shepherd-- Nancy, Amy, Liz and Kate.' Call all of his sisters. See which one's willing to donate a nerve. First one that bites, grab me.
Callie: Okay, Derek was very clear. He wants us to use a cadaver nerve for his hand surgery.
Meredith (to Heather): You're on sister duty. Go.
Bailey: You know, I myself, prefer hobbies like stamp collecting or crochet-- Something that doesn't involve guns and... helpless little creatures.
Shane: Dr. Kepner. I'm here, I'm ready, I'm excited--
April: Stop right there. That-- all that fake enthusiasm-- I see through it, and I don't appreciate the insubordination. Okay? So just order these by date of appointment made.
Shane: Uh... okay.
Shane: No, no, no. It's just... outpatient surgery. I was hoping I'd be doing some surgery on the outpatients.
April: Oh, you'll be cutting. It's lump and bump day.
April: This hospital likes to schedule all of its outpatient mass and growth removals on one day. So one lucky surgeon will find herself carving out glorified pimples for 12 freakin' hours. It's called whittling. A hillbilly with a pocket knife could do it.
Alex: Hey. (notices Jo's watch and whistles) Damn. Look at that thing. What do those run, like 5k?
Jo: I don't know. It was a gift.
Alex: Oh, from daddy?
Alex: Alright. Don't get defensive, princess. It was just a question. Here. (slides her a bucket)
Jo: What's this?
Alex: That's your job this morning. I'm on my way into surgery. But, uh, little Carter Kaynig in room nine, he swallowed some crayons.
Jo: Crayons aren't toxic. Don't we just wait for them to pass?
Alex: That's exactly what his parents have been doing for the past eight days. Bowel's impacted. The kid's in a lot of pain, and he won't be passing it on his own, so...
Jo: You don't want me to--
Alex: Start digging, princess. Oh, you might want to take off your watch first.
Leah: Dr. Yang did you read the recent 'West Coast Surgical Journal' article on central shunts? They listed some very compelling statistics.
Cristina: No, I didn't.
Leah: I'll get you a copy. (walks off)
Cristina (to Stephanie): Hmm. Check out the new girl. I was gonna call her droopy. But maybe perky now. Or Doc.
(Watching the interns)
Meredith: Just look at them they're so... fresh and shiny.
Cristina: Laughing, talking. It's pathetic. They're pathetic.
Meredith: I can't believe we used to be them.
Jo (whispers): Why are they still staring at us?
Shane: Just keep busy and look cool.
Cristina: Come here. (Mer and her walk off)
Stephanie: Shane's right. Just gotta focus.
Heather: On what, your boobs?
Jo: Breast awareness is the first and most important part of breast health. (they laugh)
Heather: My cousin thought that she had breast cancer once. But it turned out it was just a big zit.
Shane: Hey, if you need a breast exam--
Stephanie: I don't.
Leah: Are they still out there?
Cristina (shows up behind them): Rounds are in five minutes, freaks. (they all jump, she walks off)
Shane: Coast is clear.
Jo: Oh, thank god.
Leah: You're on peds, right? Do you want to switch? I'm with Yang.
Jo: No, I am not feeding your creepy obessesion with Karev.
Stephanie: Ooh. Well, guess you'll be stuck watching me outshine you all day, Murphy. Don't take it personally. Yang loves me.
Shane: No way I'm trading. I got outpatient surgery with Kepner. Sounds like I'll be cutting all day.
Stephanie: Kepner-- Dud of attendings. No way you're doing something that cool.
Shane: I like Kepner. She's the only one who's actually nice to us.
Jo: 'Cause she's the dud.
Heather: Well, I'm in the pit with Medusa today if anybody wants to trade with me.
Shane, Jo, Leah & Stephanie: No. Nope.
Meredith: (opening voiceover) Most people hate hospitals. But not the interns. For them, the hospital is a magical place. It's poetic, the rhythm of the machines, the crackle of a trauma gown. It's a place full of promise, excitement, surprises. It's a place where dreams can come true.
Meredith: (closing voiceover) There don't have to be harps playing or birds singing or rose petals falling from the sky. And there are definitely days when the romance is dead. But, if you look around, things are pretty amazing. So stop for a second. Enjoy the beauty. Feel the magic. Drink it in. 'Cause it won't last forever. The romance will fade. Things will happen. People will change. Love will die. But, maybe not today.
Jo (about Mer, Cristina & Alex): I can't believe they used to be us.
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: December 6, 2012 on CTV
Sweden: December 12, 2012 on Kanal 5
Norway: February 5, 2013 on TV2
Germany: February 27, 2013 on ProSieben
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