Dr. Meredith Grey
Dr. Cristina Yang
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens
Dr. Alex Karev
Dr. George O'Malley
Dr. Miranda Bailey
When Meredith is talking in the locker room about Derek, on the poster board in her locker, it says: "2pm-Eat eye boogies."
M&M is an abbreviation for Morbidity & Mortality. In this episode, you could see that on the sign after the scene when Cristina bought snacks. Look carefully, you will see : Seattle Grace Hospital, Morbidity and Mortality Conference, 7 AM.
Bailey: When I'm driving home at night, after a long day at work, all I can think about is getting to my baby.
Anna (rolls her eyes): This is where you tell me to fight the cancer so I don't miss out on the joys of motherhood.
Bailey: Then I get home, the baby's crying, the exhaustion hits, and I resent that tiny baby's presence in my house. My previously very quiet house.
Anna: Why are you telling me this?
Bailey: So you know what I do. First, I pick a fight with my husband-- you know, blame him for not settling the baby down. Then I bitch about the neighbor's loud music. Then, if I'm really tired and pissed off, I blame the baby. I mean, if you hadn't been breast feeding, you would have never thought the lump was a clogged milk duct. You would have gone to the doctor as soon as you felt it. The cancer wouldn't have gotten this far, and you wouldn't be here making this decision. Am I close?
Anna (crying): What kind of mother blames her own baby for her cancer?
Bailey: A mother who's human. A mother who's overwhelmed.
Anna: But if this is gonna kill me eventually, wouldn't it be easier if it happened when Gus was little? (cries harder) Wouldn't it be easier for him if I just never existed?
Bailey: Shh. This is the part when I tell you to fight the cancer so you don't miss out on the joys of motherhood.
Mr. Nyles: Dr. Bailey? What's wrong with my wife?
Bailey: I'm sorry, um, as you know, she has stage 4B breast cancer.
Mr. Nyles: I know that. Will you please tell me what's wrong with her?
Bailey: Mr. Nyles--
Mr. Nyles: She won't! She won't talk to me. I've tried, and I'm trying, and I know this sucks, and it's scary, but we can do this. We can fight this, but she won't. She won't even look at Gus, and she won't hold him, and all he wants is his mom. She's just... she's such a good mom. I know it doesn't seem like that, but she is.
Bailey: I can schedule a psych consult.
Mr. Nyles: I don't want psych consult! I just want my wife back! Please.
Meredith (opening voiceover): First, do no harm. As doctors, we pledge to live by this oath. But harm happens and then guilt happens. And there is no oath for how to deal with that. Guilt never goes anywhere on its own, it brings its friends - doubt and insecurity.
Meredith (closing voiceover): First do no harm, easier said than done. We can take all the oaths in the world, but the fact is, most of us do harm all the time. Sometimes even when we're trying to help, we do more harm than good. And then the guilt rears its ugly head. What you do with that guilt is up to you. We're left with a choice. Either let the guilt throw you back into the behavior that got you into trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt and do your best to move on.
(Watching from the gallery)
Izzie: Cristina's doing a running whip stitch on a heart.
Alex: I guess sleeping with your boss has it's perks.
George: This sucks! Cristina gets sex and perks.
Meredith: Maybe you should just apologize again, George.
George: Yeah, because you're in a great position to give relationship advice.
Callie: I slept with another guy, do I tell George?
Meredith: I broke up with Finn, do I tell Derek? (pause) I can't tell Derek.
Callie: I have to tell George.
Izzie: I think I'm gonna buy something for Bailey and for Burke. What do you think Burke would want?
Cristina: Nothing you could get with money.
George: He likes jazz.
Izzie: I'm not buying him a CD, George, I'm a multi-millionaire. I need to buy him something... big.
Meredith: A house. A house in the Bahamas.
Alex: I'd buy the Bahamas. Or at least a Bahama. An island. You know, for 8 million dollars, you could buy an island.
Cristina: Oh, when would you have time to go to your Bahama? You're an intern.
Alex: I'd quit.
Cristina: You're not quitting, you're a surgeon, you operate. That's what you do. (realizes what she said) Sorry.
Izzie: Why? It's fine. I'm fine. I'm not a surgeon.
Alex: My patient, a 30 yr. old with breast cancer. I say live your life while you can in the Bahamas.
Izzie: Have you told Derek yet that you broke up with Finn?
Meredith: I'm giving it time.
Izzie: It's stupid.
George: You know what's stupid. It's carrying around a check for 8 million dollars.
Izzie: I'm fine. The check is fine. We're all fine, okay?
George: I thought we were all done with the whole muffin thing.
Izzie: This isn't muffins. This is breakfast.
Meredith: Are you okay?
Izzie: Of course I'm okay. I'm a millionaire. Fruit? What do you guys think about B&B's? I'm thinking about opening B&B in Vermont where the foliage is, you know?
George: Maybe you should go back to sleep.
Izzie: Can't. I'm going to the hospital.
Meredith: Are you going to talk to the Chief?
Izzie: I'm going to clean out my locker. I could buy a hotel. How much do you think a hotel costs? (Izzie pours orange juice and spills it on her check)
George: That is 8 million... (he quickly cleans up the juice) Eight million dollars does not like to have juice spilled on it.
Lawyer: Derek says that neither of you brought any assets into the marriage.
Addison: Well I had my trust fund, and a sparkling personality uh, and a futon couch.
Derek: Yes, Addison had a very ugly, very heavy, futon couch.
Addison: Whatever happened to that couch?
Derek: We gave it to Mark. She can have him.
Addison: I don't want him.
Derek: Okay, well that's settled. What else?
Lawyer: Aside from Addison's trust fund which will remain in her name, we'll spilt everything, stocks, bonds, 401K's down the middle. The only thing that gets complicated is the real estate.
Derek: Well let me make this simple. I'd like to keep my trailer and the land is Seattle. Addison can keep the rest.
Addison: Hold on...
Lawyer: That's the house in the Hampton's and the Brownstone overlooking central park. That's very generous of you.
Addison: Hold on. He's up to something. I came here to fight over CD's and books. Go to war over a crystal vase. What are you up to Derek?
Derek: The divorce is my fault, let me take responsibility.
Addison: We both had affairs.
Derek: You had a one night stand with Mark.
Addison: Actually it was...
Derek: Okay it was two nights. You made a mistake. Meredith and I, we had a relationship. Make these changes. I'll sign them today.
(While in x-ray, they are still attached)
Sonia: I'm with Tom now. I love Tom.
Adam: I still can't believe you left me for that guy. What does Tom have that I don't?
Sonia: For one thing he doesn't have a pierced--
Meredith: You guys need to stay completely still so that we can get a clear picture.
Sonia: We fought through 19 years of marriage, the only time that we didn't fight was when we were having sex.
Adam (sobbing): I still love you.
Sonia: Okay. I'm in hell.
Jennifer (walking in): Mom! Dad!
Sonia: Scratch that. Now I'm in hell. (goes to commercials)
Meredith: Jennifer, maybe you wanna go wait in the---
Jennifer (to her parents): You guys are so paying for therapy and my rent and…my new car.
Adam: Of course, sweetie.
Sonia: Oh, go ahead, coddle her. (to Jennifer) But you are old enough to know that your parents are sexual beings and that they make mistakes.
Jennifer: Is that what you call this mom? A mistake? Because I call this once again, you being a slut.
Sonia: Hey! You talk to me like that. I am your mother!
Jennifer: And what a great role model you turned out to be. Cheating on your husband with your ex-husband! And daddy, I thought you said that you had finally moved on and you were going to start dating.
Adam: It's complicated, honey.
Addison (walking in): Well it seems that your IUD has dislodged from your uterus, hooked onto your husband's piercing and is embedded in your vaginal wall.
Jennifer: Did she say piercing?
Bailey: M&M in fifteen minutes people.
Alex: Wait, wait---we get to go to M&M?
George: Even if we haven't finished our rounds?
Bailey: Yeah, even if. I want all of you at the M&M today.
Alex (excited): Yes!
Bailey: People die at this hospital, on our watch. Once a month we meet to discuss how our actions as physician contributed to the deaths. This is a serious exercise. (someone calls Bailey and she leaves to go talk to them)
Cristina: George and Alex, you guys get good seats. Mer and I will get the snacks.
Meredith: Does that woman have breast cancer? What is she, 30 years old?
Alex: New baby. She probably thought the lump was a milk gland. You learn things on the vagina squad.
Cristina: Focus people. M&M. Insults flying, resident's covering their asses, our bosses getting kicked in the teeth instead of us. (points to George and Alex) Seats. (points to Mer and herself) Snacks. (they all scatter, Cristina runs into Burke) Hey, I didn't know you were coming to the M&M.
Burke: You brought snacks?
Cristina: Well, yeah.
George: She's trying to make me feel guilty about the other night. The Izzie thing.
Meredith: I thought you said you apologized to her.
George: I did. I have. I'm done. I'm not apologizing anymore. I'm enjoying life, I'm lovin' the M&M.
Chief: Okay, people, let's begin. Patient 34986 died last month from complications following a heart transplant. Dr. Burke will present.
Alex: Wasn't patient 34986...
Cristina: Eight million dollars could get us on a plane to somewhere far, far away.
(At the M&M, Burke has just presented about why Denny died and is now answering questions)
Dr. Savoy: Come on Dr. Burke we all know his LVAD wire was cut by an intern.
George (whispering to Meredith, Cristina and Alex): I'm going to my happy place.
(Bailey is answering questions at the M&M)
Dr. Savoy: You recently had a baby, Dr. Bailey--
Bailey: I don't see what that has to do with--
Dr. Savoy: Sleep deprivation coupled by wild swings, and hormone levels are factors that could cloud anyone's judgment.
Bailey: I sleep just fine, Dr. Savoy.
Dr. Savoy: Really? Because if a patient died due to my poor decision making I'd probably loose a little sleep over it.
Chief: Let me remind everyone that our purpose here is not to place blame, this is a forum to discuss mistakes in patient care and learn from them.
Dr. Savoy: Well, so far I haven't heard Dr. Bailey admit to a mistake.
Cristina (whispering): Why don't they just put a bullet in the back of her head?
Meredith (whispering): It would be more humane.
Dr. Savoy: So for a period of time your interns were running a muck in the hospital, totally unsupervised.
Bailey: I'm waiting for a question.
Dr. Savoy: The question is: Where were you?
Bailey: There was the shooting and the ER was chaotic---
Dr. Savoy: The ER is always chaotic. Did you page them during this time?
Bailey: Yes. I paged them multiple times.
Dr. Savoy: Well, apparently they thought it was okay to ignore you pages. Doctor, why do you think your interns have such contempt for you authority?
Alex (stands up, yelling): You don't know what the hell you're talking about!
Bailey: Dr. Karev, sit down. (camera shows Izzie watching the whole thing)
George: Dr. Bailey…
Meredith: We just wanted to say that…
Cristina: We're really sorry about…
Meredith: The M&M.
Bailey: No. You do not get to apologize to me about this, you do not get to feel better…and neither do I.
Callie: The other night, when I told you that I was done trying to compete. That was me breaking up with you.
George: No. I think I would have noticed that.
Callie: You didn't. That's why I broke up with you.
Alex: About Izzie---I didn't do anything.
Bailey: I know, Karev. You didn't do anything, you weren't even here.
Alex: No, listen. I knew. Izzie told me what she was gonna do but I didn't get involved. I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything to stop her. You weren't the only one.
Bailey: Alex. (pause) Thank you.
Izzie: I know how the rumor mill works around here, George. I'm the crazy intern and now I'm the crazy intern who needs a babysitter.
George: You know what we should talk about is what you're gonna do with all that money once you deposit the cheque, that is before you destroy it. (they walk by the room with the people who got stuck together while having sex, Addison appears from the room)
Izzie: Are those people having sex?
Addison: They were having sex. Now they're just fighting. Good to have you back, Stevens.
Izzie: I'm not back. I'm fine, just not back. Hey, you're Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd right? That's a lot of names, a lot of rich sounding names. You're rich, right? That's rude. That's a rude question. It's just that I'm rich now too.
George: You're not rich until you deposit that check.
Izzie: Do you ever feel guilty?
Addison: I'm sorry?
Izzie: Being rich. 'Cause I have all this money now and I don't really feel like I did anything to deserve it. And I can't really talk to my friends about it because... (whispers) they're all so poor.
George: Standing right here, Izzie.
Addison: Deposit the check, Stevens. Just start there okay? And um, the guilt will wear itself out.
Mark (they're laying in bed, Callie's phone rings): Is that your boyfriend again?
Callie: I do not have a boyfriend.
Mark: Then why the guilty face?
Callie: You were sexier when you weren't talking.
Izzie: I have 8 million dollars.
Richard: So I've heard.
Izzie: I can do anything I want.
Richard: Just about.
Izzie: And all I wanna do is a running whip stitch,
Richard: My first year as an intern I had a stable cardiac patient who blew out his lung while I was transporting to CT and I called in a code, but by the time they got there he was dead. If I had put a chest tube in right away--
Izzie: You made a mistake.
Richard: But I stayed and I worked and I learned. I never made that mistake again. If I had quit, all I would have had was that life that I lost instead I get to save lives. Everyday I get to save lives.
Meredith: Are you seriously not going to deposit that check?
Izzie: Some good needs to come from this money. Until I know what that good is, no, I'm not depositing that check. (Izzie leaves. Meredith and George stare at the check, Meredith reaches for it but George pushes her hand away)
Meredith (to nurse): Hi, I was paged by Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd.
Addison: Dr. Grey, welcome back.
Meredith: Thank you
Addison: And...uhm... its just Montgomery now.
Addison: My name, the divorce was finalized this morning, sooo…. Montgomery.
Addison: To add to our fun we have been asked to consult on a case where a woman has a foreign object inside of her. (Addison opens the door to reveal a couple who got stuck together during sex)
Sonia: Ow. It hurts when you move.
Adam: Well then keep your weight off my bad knee.
Sonia: Sorry, I thought it was your left knee.
Adam: You think after 19 years of marriage you'd have that one down.
Addison: It appears that her husband is the foreign object.
Adam and Sonia: Ex-husband!
Sonia: You just had to go an get a piercing.
Sonia: What? They were going to find out about it sooner or later.
Adam: This is so embarrassing.
Sonia: No. Embarrassing is going to meet your husband for lunch with your ex-husband still attached!
(Addison and Mark are in bed)
Mark: At least you don't have to feel guilty anymore.
Addison: Shut up.
Meredith: You're here, you're everywhere, and I can't not tell you. You know, I've been not telling you all day because I thought it was kind and I thought I was giving you space. But I can't not tell you because you're here and you're you and I broke up with Finn.
Meredith: Okay, then. Okay. I told you.
Mark: So who got the brownstone?
Addison: You heard?
Mark: People talk around here, I listen. So, who got the brownstone?
Addison: None of your business.
Mark: I left my bike in the basement. I just want to know who to talk to, to get it back.
Addison: Buy a new bike.
Mark: You know this angry divorce thing really turns me on.
Addison: I got the brownstone. And you'll get your bike back when you come to your senses and go home.
Mark: Derek took the Hamptons? Derek hates the Hamptons. Derek gave you the Hamptons too? He still doesn't know the whole story, does he?
Mark: And as long as you don't tell him you get to be the good guy and I'm just the chump who seduced his wife for the hell of it. Real fair.
Derek: Hey, you know what I like? I like that we're civilized. We're these adult grown people who can be divorced and friendly. We deserve a medal.
Addison: It wasn't a one night stand. Mark and I. It wasn't a one night stand, I was in love with him. Or at least I thought I was. After you left we lived together for two months. I wanted to believe that we could make it work, that I hadn't thrown my marriage away, that I hadn't thrown my life away on a fling. But he's Mark, and, well, I caught him with someone else, and then Richard called, so... We both had relationships with other people. We're both equally liable..for everything. So please, take the Brownstone.
Derek: All I want is Seattle. I want Seattle, and I want never to see you again.
Meredith (about Izzie): She's losing it. She almost battered and deep fried an 8 and a half million dollar check this morning.
Cristina: That kind of money, I'd buy my own hospital and stock it full of sick people. Vavuloplasties and ruptured aneurysms.
George: You're a psycho, you know that, right?
Cristina: Yeah. I'm not the one with an 8 and a half million dollar check I won't cash.
Izzie (overhearing them): Stop talking about me. I'm fine. I'm cleaning out my locker and I am going home. Mer is the one with problems.
Meredith (panicked): What's wrong with me?
Izzie: Well you haven't told McDreamy that you dumped McVet.
Cristina: Oh, you haven't done that yet?
Alex: Dude, tell him already.
George: She's scared.
Meredith: I am not scared! Derek walked away. He walked away. And maybe that's a good thing. I mean maybe he's happier. Maybe he's moved on. He's got Addison here. He's got Mark here. He's got a lot to deal with. And I'm not going to make him feel guilty. I mean I am being an adult here. And I am not going to drag him here into our whole- (she notices them all staring at her disbelievingly) ... Izzie is the one with the big check!
Izzie: I'm fine.
(Izzie & Burke talking in an office about how she's okay)
Burke (sarcastic): You're fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine.
Izzie: So ...
Burke: I got shot. I got shot because I was coming back to the hospital to check on Denny. Because you told me to. (shakes his head) I'm not fine. Denny asked you to marry him and now he is dead. You're not fine. Don't come in here and- ... just we're not fine.
Izzie: I'm sorry. We were friends. You were my boss but I think we were friends too. And- and I never meant ... for anyone to get hurt. And I know there is nothing I can do to take it back.
Izzie: Preston, please.
Burke (angry): You quit! You quit being a surgeon! You have two good hands! And you aren't using them. Feel guilty about that.
(Mark enters a room where Derek is sitting by himself)
Mark: She told you. (Derek just remains silent) I've known you my whole life. I grew up with you so I know what you're thinking ... that there is a year of your life wasted, trying to make it work with Addison and you could've been with Meredith. That you could be happy right now. That all this ... everything ... that you and Meredith could've had a real chance. Still ... I thought you should know the truth. I thought I owed you that ... as a friend.
Derek: You're not my friend.
Richard (to Bailey): You took a lot of hits today at the M&M. Some of 'em justified. Some of them not. Compassion and empathy are a big part of the job. Look, I don't care what Savoy says, and I know I haven't always been supportive, but being a parent makes you a better doctor.
Derek: You look, uh, good without an appendix. It suits you.
Meredith: How are you?
Derek: Fine. (pause) How are you?
Meredith: I'm great.
Derek: Feeling well? No pain?
Meredith: No pain. (gets a page) Oh, that's your wife. I'm on her service.
Derek: Okay, then, I won't stand in your way.
Izzie (after watching the M&M): Clearly, the doctor thing wasn't working for me. So go about your business, run labs, and cure cancer. (starts walking away)
George: You're not going home. Either you hang out with us or we call your mother. (Izzie turns back around)
Meredith: She's just a few hours away and I'm sure she wouldn't mind coming and staying with you, all day.
Izzie: You wouldn't.
George (grabs his cell phone): Dialing.
Izzie: Whoa, hey, hey. Okay, I'll just...hang out in the locker room.
Original International Air Dates:
The Netherlands: February 5, 2007 on Net 5
New Zealand: March 8, 2007 on Tv2
Brazil: Scheduled to air on 3/5/07 on Sony Entertainment Television
Australia: March 18, 2007 on Channel 7
Italy: March 5, 2007 on Foxlife
Switzerland: Apri 9, 2007 on SF 2
Israel: April 9, 2007 on Yes Stars 1
Germany: May 8, 2007 on Pro 7
Great Britain: June 21, 2007 on Livingtv
Ireland: August 7, 2007 on RTE Two
Finland: September 26, 2007 on Nelonen
Croatia: October 8, 2007 on NOVA TV
Norway: September 11, 2007 on TV2
Romania: February 19, 2008 on TVR1
Music Featured In this Episode:
1. Clonie by Nellie McKay plays at the beginning when Izzie serves breakfast.
2. Kaleidoscope by Kate Havnevik plays when Meredith bumps into Derek and shows him the X-ray of the stuck couple.
3. Wild Is The Wind by The Second Band plays when the interns have lunch and discuss what they'd do with Izzie's money.
4. Be Good Or Be Gone by Fionn Regan plays when Addison confesses she lived with Mark after Derek left her.
5. Don't Mistake Me by Keisha White plays when George shows up at Callie's hotel room.
Meredith: First, do no harm. Doctors swear by this oath.
The oath Meredith alludes to is the Hippocratic Oath. It was written by the Greek philosopher Hippocrates, who is commonly called the father of medicine. The Oath, which ensures ethical guidelines for medical practitioners and their patients, is taken by many physicians upon the start of their careers. Contrary to popular belief, the Oath does not begin with the line "First, do no harm". However, this line can be found in the Hippocratic Corpus, a collection of almost 60 medical works from ancient Greece.
Episode Title: Oh, The Guilt
Oh, The Guilt is a song by Nirvana, but was never on any of their albums.
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