This episode covers the three month time span between the plane crash in the season 8 finale and the events in the season 9 premiere.
(On the phone, after Cristina listened to her message)
Cristina: You are my person. You will always be my person.
Richard (reading a form): 'In the event that my heart stops beating and I stop breathing I want to be resuscitated.'
Mark: Well, don't go crazy but... If you can get me back, yeah, get me back.
Alex: It's Arizona. There's a problem.
Alex: She's crashing.
Callie: Crashing? She's--
Alex: Temp's 104, serum lactate is six. She's in septic shock.
Callie: Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Do you have her on pressors?
Alex: I've got her on pressors, triple antibiotics, I've got her on aggressive I.V. fluids.
Callie: Did you give her supplemental oxygen?
Alex: I intubated her. She's crashing.
Callie: Do you... Uh, did you start her on hydrocortisone?
Callie: Um... Do you have her on pressors?
Alex: Yes, I told you. Yes. Look, she's still deteriorating. She's dying.
Callie: It's the leg.
Alex: It's the leg.
Callie (exhales): Cut it off. ... Go. Just do a good job, please. Do your best.
Alex (to Arizona): I, uh, brought you a piece of chunky Stu's pizza. He's, uh, he's eating tonight thanks to you... us. Uh... He's out of the woods, so... I'm out of here. Um, I'm going to Hopkins. I've really uh, been busting my ass to make sure everything's run smoothly, and, uh, now I'm-- I'm done. So just... Good-Bye. (sets the pizza on the table by Arizona) I'm sorry this happened to you. And I'm sorry that it made you hate me.
Arizona: I haven't eaten since breakfast.
Callie: Okay, your surgery's not 'til noon tomorrow. Carlson doesn't care if you eat now.
Arizona: Well, I'm just-- I'm gonna be an unbelievably good patient.
Callie: Mm. (gets paged) Oh. Okay. I have to go.
Arizona: 'Cause you're an unbelievably good doctor.
Callie: Say more.
Arizona (chuckles): My wife is the doctor who's going to fix Derek Shepherd's million-dollar hand. She's that good.
Callie: Okay, stop. You're freaking me out now.
Arizona: You... are outstanding. And I love you.
Callie (smiles): I love you, too.
Callie: This is a good plan.
Owen: You're not her doctor.
Callie: Oh, I'm not saying I'll do the surgery, Carlson can do it.
Owen: There is a real possibility that she may lose her leg. You need to help her prepare for that.
Callie: No, no! No. An intramedullary nailing can save the leg.
Owen: Define 'save'? Her leg will never be the same. A prosthetic can give Arizona a better quality of life than years of rehab and chronic pain. I don't need to tell you this.
Callie: No, in fact, it's pretty condescending.
Owen: Or the surgery will make her infection worse and increase her risk of D.V.T--
Callie: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's her leg. I'm risking it, I'm doing it.
Owen: You are not doing anything. (Callie scoffs) She is your wife, not your patient.
Callie: She's not, though. She's not my wife! (starts crying) I... (inhales) I don't know who she is. Did this happen with Cristina? It's like you're looking at her, but there's nothing inside? I feel like she's just this shell. All the Arizona's been scooped out... (voice breaking) And she's just this shell now, and I want her back. And I don't think I'll ever get her back if we cut off that leg, so... I'm going to save it. I've made a plan to save, and you're gonna get on board. And then we'll work on a plan to get Cristina back, but you need to help me now.
Owen: I don't think I'm ever gonna get Cristina back.
Arizona (about Sofia): You need to take her to that park more. She goes from the apartment to the day care. She's indoors all day.
Arizona: Yeah. We should-- We should get a house.
Callie: Whoa. (chuckles) Slow down.
Arizona: And then she could have a yard and she doesn't... have to be inside all the time. (starts to cry)
Callie: Hey, hey, hey. (takes Arizona's hand) What's wrong?
Arizona: Do we have a plan yet? Do we?
Callie: We are waiting for the infection to improve, and then we will know what options we have.
Arizona: Well, if the vancomycin isn't working, then put me on colistin, it'll be stronger.
Callie: I understand that it's hard to just--
Arizona: No, you don't. You don't, because you know what you life is going to be. You know if you're going to... (crying) take her to the park. Or if you're gonna stand at an O.R. table again.
Callie: You will. Of course you will.
Arizona: I know! I know what my options are! And the more that we wait, the more that my vascularity diminishes, the more the nerves die, the more muscle atrophies, and then there's only one option left!
Callie: Okay, we are so far from that happening.
Arizona: Do something, Callie! You need to do something. Please. Please don't give up on me.
Callie: Arizona, I'm not.
Arizona: Promise-- Promise me... You won't let them take my leg.
Callie: I promise. I do. I promise, okay? I promise you. (Arizona is sobbing and Callie hugs her)
Callie (adjusting the pins in Arizon'a leg): How's that? Does that feel alright? Does that hurt?
Arizona: It doesn't hurt. And anything that doesn't hurt feels good. Thank you. Is the infection better or worse?
Callie: Don't worry about that, okay? Just... try to feel good.
Alex (walks in): Hey.
Alex: Uh, sorry I haven't been around. I, uh, just wanted to let you know that I gave, uh, chunky Stu-- Uh, sorry, Stuart his intestinal transplant today. It went great, he's-- he's responding well. Oh, uh, and I know that you like to do that thing where you bring him his favorite food in a couple of months when he can handle solids, so, it's uh, it's Hawaiian pizza. I just thought I should tell 'ya.
Arizona: Thank you.
Alex: I feel like crap. It should have been me on that plane, if I could trade places with you, I would--
Arizona: I would let you. I had that thought a lot, too. And I didn't like myself for it, but I did. I kept thinking about my wife and baby and how you had no wife and no baby. You had no one. I only went on that plane because I was pissed at you. So I kept wondering... I'm only here because he's so selfish and thoughtless. And no matter how hard I tried to make him better, he's still a horrible person. So now... I keep wondering... Why this would happen to someone like me instead of someone like you. So I guess I'm still pretty pissed off. Would you get out of my room? Please. (Alex nods, sadly, and walks out)
Arizona (to Owen): I withhold consent. I withhold consent before you drug me, or sedate me, I give n-nobody permission to cut off my leg. And certainly not some yahoo in Dump Truck, Idaho. I want to go home to Callie. She'll know what to do. (voice breaks) Just take me home.
Mark: Don't tell Callie. She's about to operate on Derek.
Mark: Derek doesn't need to go in this surgery worried, so don't say anything to him.
Richard: They can reschedule the surgery, Mark. I'm sure they'd want to.
Mark: No. That surgery's going to get Derek back into the O.R. where he belongs. Nobody's got better hands than him, except maybe Callie. Have you looked at her hands? They're beautiful. Sofia has her hands. Callie... really doesn't even know how good she is. Sometimes you wish people... would just see themselves the way you do. Listen to me. This the surge talking?
Richard: No, this is you. This is all you. So keep going... 'Cause I'm not going anywhere.
April: Um, can we talk? I'm leaving.
Jackson: No, actually I've gotta grab Sofia for Sloan. He needs to see her. But I can uh, call you later.
April: Uh, no, Jackson. I'm-- I'm leaving... for home-- Moline. My flight's in a few hours.
Jackson: What do you--
April: I... I don't have a job here anymore. My contract actually ended a few days ago, but I stuck around waiting for Sloan to get better, and he's better, so...
Jackson: Um, alright. I got to get Sofia right now, okay? But can you just wait? Wait for me at Joe's. We can have a drink. We can talk. Just... okay? Just wait for me at Joe's.
Mark: Is this what I think it is?
Richard: There's no way to know. ... We'll just take it as it comes, okay?
Jackson: Uh, I had a facial lac. Uh, oh, I had a consult this morning-- Breast augmentation, 'B' to 'D'.
Mark: Did you tell her that her breasts were beautiful the way they are?
Jackson: No, I still think that's weird.
Mark: Well, I know you do, but you're wrong. You tell her she's beautiful just the way she is, and if she believes you, you saved someone an unnecessary surgical procedure.
Jackson: And that is definitely not how I talk to a patient.
Mark: No, but it's how you talk to a woman, Avery. We're in the business of making people feel better about themselves.
Jackson: Again, sometimes when you talk, I feel like a male prostitute.
Mark: She's a person on the precipice of change, Avery. She's scared and she's worried. God, the things we worry about. It's so pointless. And we get to help take that worry away. It's why we're doctors. It's actually why we're people, but somehow we forget that all that matters is people. And whether we walk away leaving them better or worse for having met us. We control that, Avery. I want you to promise me something. If you love someone, you tell 'em. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing, even if you're scared that it'll cause problems, even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud. And then you go from there. Hey, where's my kid? I wanna see Sofia. Avery, why don't you run up to daycare and bring her down here?
Jackson: I can't bring a baby in the I.C.U.
Mark: No, but you can sneak on in. Come on, Avery, grow a pair.
Jackson: Pretty amazing recovery, right?
Derek: Yeah, his SATs are good? He's been weaned off pressors?
Jackson: Yeah, B.P is 110 over 60.
Callie: And he's making inappropriate sexual comments to Brooks.
Heather: It's fine.
Callie (chuckles): No, it's not. But right now, I'm really, really enjoying it, so... (walks into Mark's room)
Derek (to Richard): You think it's the surge.
Richard: Mm. It-- It might be.
Derek: I don't. I don't think it is.
Heather: What's the surge?
Richard: In many terminally ill patients, they have a final surge of energy. They get better before they get worse.
Jackson: But this is not that.
Richard: But in a little while, he'll do what all patients do. He'll have epiphanies, he'll tell you what really matters in life, ask for his family.
Derek: The man is telling dirty jokes. It's not-- It's not a surge.
Jackson (smiles): No, I don't think so, either.
Derek: Callie. Callie. (Callie wakes up) Go home.
Callie: No, I'm alright.
Derek: No, you're not. You've been up for the past two nights bouncing between Arizona's room and here.
Callie: I just need some coffee. Can you, um... Can you stay with him while I run to the cafeteria?
Derek: I'll stay with him all night.
Callie: I just feel like we're losing him, Derek. Usually when I talk to him, I sense that he's there, that he's listening, that he's listening, but I think he's giving up. I'm so scared the second I leave this hospital I'm gonna get a phone call that he's dead.
Derek: That's not gonna happen tonight.
Derek: Mmhmm. If he starts going south, I'll tell him to cut it off. He idolizes me, he'll do whatever I say.
Callie: Thank you. (walks out)
Derek (to Mark): You heard what I told her. Don't make me look like an ass. Pull it together. A lot of people counting on you.
Julia: I flew to Boise. I-I was there, but they wouldn't let me in. They said I wasn't family.
Mark: It's not fair. You don't deserve... You deserve better.
Julia: Shh. Stop it. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, Mark. I love you.
Mark (sighs): I love Lexie. Loved. I'm sorry.
Meredith: You okay?
Meredith: You sure you know what you're doing?
Cristina: Yes. It's one highway all the way to Minnesota-- Through Montana, cross one of the Dakotas, I can't remember which.
Meredith: No, I meant by leaving. Are you sure you're okay with it? Are you sure it's the right thing to do?
Cristina: Meredith, not you, too. Owen just tried to--
Meredith: Well, yeah, because I'm worried that you're just running away.
Cristina: Well, yeah, I am. I'm fleeing, like Bambi from a forest fire, and so should you 'cause horrible things happen here.
Meredith: No, something horrible happened, and we should stick together.
Cristina: You know what? We have stuck together. And we've grown together, like two gnarled trees twining around each other trying to survive.
Meredith: Survive what? Cristina, this is life. Bad things happen. It's hard. You find your people, you find your person, and you lean on them.
Cristina: Oh, god love you, Mer. You know, so many horrible things have happened to you, and maybe you're okay with it, but you shouldn't be. Go to Harvard, anywhere except here, seeing your dead sister around every corner. Hey, your mother died here. Your husband was shot here. George died here.
Meredith: It's my life and you were here for it, too. I mean, now you sound like the same scary loner bitch who rode in here on a motorcycle five years ago. Like the past five years has never happened?
Cristina: Well, you know, a part of me wishes it hadn't.
Meredith: Oh, okay. Well, then you should just go then. And you should not look back. Go.
Meredith: No, you know, Cristina, you're right. I'm not your person. And Owen isn't your person. Your person is you, it always has been.
(Owen is giving Cristina a bath)
Owen: I'm gonna take a leave of absence. I think three years ago, I said I was gonna figure out how to make great roast chicken. Still haven't done it. I just like how a house smells when there's a chicken in the oven. ... You're gonna feel stronger in a couple days or weeks. It takes as long as it takes. And we have all the time in the world. When you're back on your feet, you'll go back to work at whatever pace you want. You'll go back into the O.R. and you can do your magic. You won't have to deal with patients or families. I'll take care of all that. You ready to get out now?
Cristina: I can't.
Cristina: I can't get out.
Owen: You can. I'll-- I'll help you.
Cristina: I stayed awake for four days. I remember... Every single minute of those four days. ... The fire went out. It was really, really dark. There were so many stars. I remember getting the bugs out of Arizona's leg. I put leaves on it, trying to keep them out. And Mark... Mark just kept dying. It was so annoying. I kept trying to help him, but he just kept trying to die on me. I just wanted to lie down... And sleep on him because he was warm. And I wanted to sleep. Meredith was asleep. Everyone was asleep. Arizona got the last of the water, and I remember drinking something bad. It might have been the fuel from the plane? I drank... my pee. The noises... The animal noises... fighting and growling right... next to us, right there. I kept waiting for them to come and kill me, but they didn't. And then I realized... they were fighting over Lexie. ... I tried to keep them off of her. I tried. But I couldn't get out. I can't get out.
Owen: You're out now. I got you. You hear me?
Cristina: I can't get out. Don't you see? I'll never get out.
(They are standing outside Cristina's room looking at her)
Heather: So, she doesn't speak at all?
Shane: She hasn't yet. She just stares... and breathes.
Heather: It's kind of weird, but the way that they talk about her around here, it's like she's a legend, you know?
Shane: Mmm. And now she's like an end table. (they laugh)
Heather: Shane, that's horrible. Stop it.
Shane: Sorry. (Cristina throws a vase at the window they're looking through)
Callie: So, I, uh had a look at Schachter's plan. He's opted for an end-to-end repair.
Derek: What'd you think?
Callie: It's good. Oh, it's great. He's amazing. He's the best, right?
Callie: But nothing. It's just that I've-- I've been in there. I've seen the amount of gap in the nerve, and I know it's messier, but I thought a nerve graft might be better. That's all. I'm sure he's-- he's thought of it already. Uh, he's the best.
Derek: Well, that would be--
Callie: Be much riskier. You're right, it is. But it could mean a full recovery. You could use your own A.I.N for the graft. I've used it before. It's practically gift-wrapped for a median nerve graft.
Derek: Yeah, but if it doesn't take, we shorten the nerve more. I could lose more function than I have now.
Callie: You're right. It's stupid. It's why Schachter's not doing it. He's smart not to...
Derek: Which is why you should.
Derek: I want you to do the surgery.
Callie: No. No.
Mark: It's not your fault. You didn't force her to try your approach. If she couldn't pull it off, well, then--
Derek: I could've pulled it off had I been in there.
Mark: Well, you'll be back in there.
Derek: No, I won't. I will be the former neurosurgeon Derek Shepherd, research librarian.
Mark: Shut up.
Derek: Mark, the guy gave me 80 percent.
Mark: Well, get back to 100 percent.
Derek: It's not gonna happen.
Mark: Don't give me that crap. You love a hopeless case.
Derek: It's true. It's the only reason we're still friends. (smiles) I'm glad you're doing better
Mark: Me, too. You will be, too. 100 percent, you'll see.
Derek: Meredith, I can teach, consult. I just may never do another surgery.
Meredith: Oh, don't talk like that.
Derek: Meredith... I'm alive. We survived. Zola has both her parents.
Meredith: I know. (they hug)
Derek: That's enough.
Meredith (to Cristina): Okay. Okay. It's time. It's time to get up. They are gonna take you upstairs and they're gonna pump you full of antipsychotics. And you're gonna go slack-jawed and cuckoo's nest and you'll never be you again. Cristina, please. I am begging you. Please. You have to say something. Cristina, please. Do you hear me? Say something, please.
Alex: Blowing off Harvard. Wow.
Meredith: You're blowing off Hopkins. Wow.
Alex: No, I'm postponing Hopkins 'til Robbins is better. Avery did the same thing for Sloan.
April: And I stayed.
Alex: And you stayed because you have no place else to go. Oh. Wake me up in ten for chunky Stu.
April: You just ate.
Alex: Stuart. Short-bowel syndrome kid. I'm doing an intestinal transplant. He puked on me the first time we met, so I call him 'Chunky Stu.' (April groans) Arizona hated it, but Stuart think it's hilarious.
Meredith: How is Arizona's infection? Is it getting any better?
Alex: Don't know. I haven't seen her.
Meredith: What do you mean? You're running her service.
Alex: You really think she wants to talk to me? I mean, what am I supposed to say to her-- 'Hey remember the time that I quit and you got pissed and took my seat on a plane that crashed, and now you're trading in your wheelie sneaks for a peg leg? Sorry. My bad'?
Jackson (walks in): How we doing here?
Meredith: Hey, Jackson, you're talking to Sloan, right? Keeping him updated.
Jackson: Yeah. Not about work stuff, though. He doesn't need that kind of pressure right now.
Meredith: What is wrong with you two?
Jackson: I just said that--
Meredith: No, I'm just saying. They're fine. They're gonna be fine. Arizona's not gonna lose her leg, and Sloan is coming back. They're coming back. So let's act like it. They're gonna be fine. We're all going to be fine. (they all look at Cristina who is laying in a hospital bed, not talking staring blankly at the wall)
Alex: How long are we saying that this is okay?
Meredith: As long as she needs.
April: I, for one, find it refreshing. They say, if you don't have something nice to say... She never has anything nice to say. Come on, Yang. I'm wide open. Just hit me.
Meredith: I don't know how you can even think about leaving.
Derek: Because it's Harvard. Meredith, because you don't turn down an offer from Harvard.
Meredith: You have two, maybe three surgeries left on your hand before--
Derek: You know what? maybe they have doctors there. Maybe one can help me.
Meredith: With Mark in the condition he's in, and Cristina?
Derek: I'm not saying we leave tomorrow. They're just looking for a time frame.
Meredith: Well, I'm sorry, Derek. I know you really want to go. But I can't even think about it.
Derek: This is not about me. This is about you. You're at the beginning of your career.
Meredith: It's you they want.
Derek: I don't know. I'm not the same man that they hired.
Meredith: Don't say that.
Derek: 80 percent, Meredith.
Meredith: Don't say that! We stay here, we work here, we move into the beautiful house that you built us. That was our plan.
Derek: That was before you got a job in Boston.
Meredith: And that was before our plane crashed.
(They are on the plane, taking everyone back to Seattle)
Bailey: I wish they had put me out, too.
Richard: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Bailey: All I keep thinking is, that we are going to crash on a tropical island and get attacked by a polar bear.
Richard: Now... I don't know what you mean.
Bailey: You should watch more T.V.
Meredith (to Cristina): Hey. They're taking us home tomorrow on a plane. And I said no planes but we don't have a choice, because of Mark and Arizona, so... So I told Bailey to just sedate us-- Sedate all of us. And we'll never know what happened. (Cristina is silent)
Meredith (leaving a message on Cristina's voicemail/ closing voiceover): Hey, so I haven't called because... Well... Neither have you, so-- You were right... About all of it. This is a place where horrible things happen. You were right to go - you're probably escaping disaster. Look at me, I practically grew up here. And you're right, it's hurt me in ways I'll probably never get over. I have a lot of memories of people, people I've lost forever, but I have a lot of other memories too. This is the place where I fell in love. The place where I found my family. This is where I learned to be a doctor, where I learned to take responsibility for someone else's life. And it's the place I met you so I figure this place has given me as much as it has taken from me. I've lived here as much as I've survived here, it just depends on how I look at it. I'm gonna choose to look at it that way and remember you that way. Hope you're good. Bye.
Meredith : (opening voiceover) I had this memory game when I was a kid. A bunch of cards, face down, in rows. Each card has a picture. You turn one over, look at it, then turn it back over. Then you have to try and remember where it's matching card was. Sometimes you have no idea, and other times it shows us exactly what we need to see. The cards seem completely out of order and random, but you keep turning them over. And the more cards you see, you get a sense of how everything fits together.
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: October 4, 2012 on CTV
Australia: October 9, 2012 on Channel 7
United Kingdom: November 14, 2012 on Sky Living
Norway: December 18, 2012 on TV2
Germany: January 16, 2013 on ProSieben
Bailey: All I can think is, we're gonna crash on some tropical island and get attacked by a polar bear.
This is a reference to the T.V show Lost.
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