Grey's Anatomy Season 9 Episode 6

Alex: I didn't stay to nail the freshmen.
Meredith: I know. You stayed for Robbins.
Alex: Yeah, and you know what she told me? That I'm a nobody. That I have no one. She told me that I have nothing to show for my life. I want your house, Mer, 'cause... I don't know why. I just-- I just do.
Meredith: The chips on the ceiling are from the first Christmas tree we got intern year. You wouldn't know that, because we didn't like you then. And the burn marks on the hardwoods are from flame shots from that stupid party Izzie threw. And the scratch marks on the doorjamb in the study are Zola's height marks since she could stand, and the ones on the other side are from me when I was little. I grew up there, Alex. It's hard for me to change things. And you grew up there, too. So before you go trying to change everything about yourself, you got yourself this far. And you're fine the way you are, and so is the house. So I'm not changing anything. You can, if you want, but I won't.
Alex: Okay. We got a deal? (they shake hands)
Meredith: We got a deal. (they hug)
Alex: What about the dry rot though?
Meredith: Would you get away from me with the dry rot?

Jackson: Alright, listen--
April: I'm sorry, okay? I'm sure that you would prefer your booty calls to be uncomplicated and void of feeling so I think you should probably just seek them somewhere else, okay? 'Cause I know this is just sex to you. And it's--
Jackson: It's not just sex., I mean, I wish it was. I pretend that it is, 'cause you have a good thing going with Jesus, but it's not.
April: It's not?
Jackson: No, and stop calling me a car crash or dessert or acting like I'm bumming out Jesus.
April: I'm sorry. You-- You made it seem like it was--
Jackson: And stop acting like I don't have any feelings, okay? I have feelings. I have a lot of 'em.
April: About what?
Jackson: You. About you, April. For you.
April: I'm-- I'm so sorry... that I hurt them, your-- your feelings--
Jackson: It's okay. Just--
April: I- I thought it was just sex.
Jackson: Mm. Yeah, so did I.
April: Okay.
Jackson: Have a good night.
April: Talk to you tomorrow.

Callie: Could you take out your tape recorder? I need to retract my earlier statement or, uh, testimony or whatever.
Doctor's Lawyer: Well, I'm not sure anything you said w--
Callie: I lied before. I do believe Dr. Shepherd can operate again.
Doctor's Lawyer: Well, that's speculation, not fact.
Callie: It's a fact that nerve regeneration is very slow. His nerve may need more time. And there are also new nerve connectors we can try for closer approximation of the severed ends. That's a fact. (turns to Derek) I mean, we can still try an end-to-end transfer. We haven't even tried to take a branch of the M.A.B.C.
Doctor's Lawyer: You've give this some thought.
Callie: Yeah. Every single night since you dropped that instrument.
Derek: Why didn't you mention any of this before?
Callie (voice breaking): Because I was scared. Because I felt like I failed you. But you weren't wrong to believe in me, Derek. And you weren't wrong to push. In fact, you should've pushed me harder. We haven't tried everything. And you shouldn't give up until we do.

Cristina: You know as well as I do I had no other choice but to--
Owen: Let's wait and see what Russell says.
Cristina: If you didn't want me here, you shouldn't have hired me back.
Jeff Russell (walks in): Dr. Hunt, Dr. Yang, what happened?
Cristina (hands him the chart): I had to go in on your aortic ulcer. He had hemoptysis--
Jeff Russell (reading the chart): Shh. Shh.
Owen: The patient is stable now. We can talk about Dr. Yang's decision--
Jeff Russell: Dr. Yang... Thank you. Good save. And thank you, Hunt. You're absolutely right. Now I know why you pushed so hard for her. Great work.

Alex: But if this happens again, you come back, and you uh, look for us-- either Dr. Wilson or myself. We'll take good care of ya.
Jo (to Alex): Thank you.
Santa: Yeah. You sure saved my biscuits from the fire on this one doc, thanks.
Alex: Oh, thank her. Someone else might have uh, let your biscuits burn.
Santa: Darlin', I could hug you.
Jo: Oh, that's fine.
Santa: Except you're a little pukey there.

Jackson: You spoke to my mother.
Richard: Mm. I did.
Jackson: So there won't be anymore... miscommunications?
Richard: Shouldn't be.
Jackson: I'd appreciate it if you could just keep it to yourselves.
Richard: Oh, well, we can certainly do that.
Jackson: Thank you.
Richard: If you can.
Jackson: Sorry?
Richard: Well, when I get an e-mail that's not meant for me, I hit a quick reply or delete it. You've been running back and forth, making sure I hear from Catherine, making sure she hears from me, making sure we connect. I think maybe you aren't as upset as you pretend you are.
Jackson: Oh, I'm not?
Richard: I think you're glad that your mother's found someone who makes her happy. You just don't want to admit that.
Jackson: Just keep it out of my inbox.

Bailey: Hey, hey. Uh, you talk to your wife tonight?
Callie: No. Why?
Bailey: Oh, I may have pushed a thing a little too far, and now I'm not sure what you're going home to.
Callie: What did you do?
Bailey: W-Well... (Callie sees Arizona walking in) Bailey, what-- What did you do? (Callie smiles and Bailey turns and sees her)
Bailey: Oh, I may have pushed it just far enough. Okay, uh, you gotta go.
Callie: What?
Bailey: She's like a, you know, a little bird. If we move to fast we'll scare her off. You're too much pressure now. You gotta go. Go, go, go.
Callie: Okay. (walks off)
Bailey (picks up the chart): Alright. Come here little bird.
Arizona (walks in): I never got the chart.
Bailey: I am so sorry. It's right here.
Arizona: You know, you asked for my help, and I'm-- I'm happy to help you, but I can't do that unless I have the information.
Bailey: Again, so sorry.
Arizona: You know, when you say you're gonna do something, you should... (looks at the chart) Oh, ah. Uh-huh. Right. Right here. The pulmonary infiltrate. I knew it. I think she has Lemierre's disease.
Bailey: People still get Lemierre's?
Arizona: Well, I think she does. You can confirm with an I.G ultrasound.
Bailey: Now what's that gonna show?
Arizona: Ugh. Come on. (Arizona starts walking away talking about the disease and Bailey follows)

Owen: Dr. Yang, when did Dr. Russell's noninvasive tevar turn into a bilateral thoracotomy with bypass?
Cristina: When Russell's stent tore through the guy's aorta.
Owen: And you couldn't find the time to just... consult with Russell first?
Cristina: Yeah, I tried.
Owen: Russell doesn't even know you yet. You don't have free reign to just tear into someone else's patient. You'll be gone in your first day.
Cristina: He should thank me.
Owen: He's probably going to fire you. (walks off)
Shane: Still it was an amaz--
Cristina: Shut up.

Alex: What's the matter with you? Change your clothes, now.
Jo: Oh, yes. That's it. I have been walking around in the same vomit-soaked shirt since this morning. It couldn't be that I've been repeatedly puked on by a patient who pukes all day, despite the fact that I can't find anything wrong with him except extreme nausea and migraines. No, I must lack the ability to wash myself or have absolutely no self-respect. And you know what? Speaking of no self-respect. Call Leah, please. She is unbearable. Let her know if you're done or bored or whatever, because trying to figure it out is gonna drive her crazy.

Meredith: I'm sorry, but there are plenty of other houses in Seattle for you not to screw interns in. This is stupid. I'm calling it off.
Alex: You can't do that. Escrow's practically closed.
Meredith: Not my problem. Neither is 'repaint marks on living room ceiling.'
Alex: Oh, come on. It's a tiny list.
Meredith: Good. Then it shouldn't hurt when you stick up your-- (Stephanie walks in and interrupts)

Cristina: Someone suction for me. (Shane & Heather both offer at the same time) Wait. Earn it. Dopey, what are we looking at on his scans?
Shane: It looks like a dissection in the ascending aorta with an aortobrochial fistula.
Cristina: Good. You're happy again. Suction. Mousey, why did Russell opt for an endovascular repair of this ulcer?
Heather: I, uh, personal preference?
Shane: Uh, patient's age and limited mobility.
Cristina: Ooh. Happy for the win. Keep on suctioning. It's a good choice. But I've learned that sometimes, it's better to do things the old-fashioned way. Mousey, hold this back here, like this. Good. What do we see here?
Heather: It looks like the stent tore through his aorta and bronchus.
Cristina: Ooh. Mousey coming up from behind. 3-0 prolene. This is gonna be a mess.

(On the phone)
Bailey: Hey.
Arizona: Did you send the chart?
Bailey: I did, an hour ago. I told my intern to leave the copies by the door.
Arizona: Well, did you tell them to ring the bell?
Bailey: I would've thought that that was a given, but this year's interns seem more defective than most.
Leah (overhearing): Did you tell me to leave the chart--
Bailey (covering her phone): Ah, speak when you're spoken to. (to Arizona) Yeah. Uh, it's outside your door.
Arizona: Fine.

Derek: They're waiting for us. You alright?
Callie: You ever just wish we had taken the settlement? Then we wouldn't have to relive this over and over.
Derek: Well... (sighs) None of us wanted to settle.
Callie: I did. We all did. In fact, we voted.
Derek: Then why did you agree not to?
Callie: You know why.
Derek: That's... That's not fair.
Callie: It's true, though.
Derek: It came down to you, and you agreed.
Callie: Because you pushed us. You came in late with your big speech...
Derek: What are you talking--
Callie: And you-- You did, Derek. You decided and you pushed...
Derek: I did not push you.
Callie: And when you do that no one's gonna go against you. How was I supposed to stand up?
Derek: I did not push you.
Callie: And-- And you did the same thing with your hand.
Derek: What are you talking about?
Callie: I told you I did not want to do that surgery.
Derek: You suggested that surgery!
Callie: Yeah, for someone else. For Schachter. I wasn't suggesting it for me, and I told you that. But you wouldn't let up and you made me do it.
Derek: Because I thought you could do it! I believed that you could do it. That was my fault. Don't feel bad, Callie. It's on me.

Owen (about Santa): You gave him a C.T. and an extreme makeover. You're here to do surgery.
Jo: I cleaned him up a little. Because poor people don't get good medical care, or dirty people or smelly people. And if he'd come in in a good suit and some cologne, we'd all be busting our asses for him instead of accusing him of scamming drugs. I thought, if his scans show he needs a consult, maybe like this, his next doctor won't blow him off.
Owen: C.T.s been done. Wait for the results. If they're negative, you send him on his way, immediately, okay?
Jo: Yes, sir. Thank you. Sir.

Jackson (holding up his phone so Richard can see): Sir. My mother replied to your e-mail.
Richard: Oh, dear.
Jackson: Because I forwarded it to her, she replied to me.
Richard (takes Jackson's phone and reads the e-mail): Oh, well. Uh... that's rather graphic, isn't it?
Jackson: Yeah, she's a wordsmith. I am asking you both-- begging, actually-- that you keep this from ever happening again.
Richard: I'll speak to her.
Jackson: See that you do. Sir.

Alex: So, I'm, uh, willing to compromise. I'm gonna let the ceiling thing go.
Meredith: Okay, and let the other four things go, and then we'll have a deal.
Alex: We already have a deal.
Meredith: Why the sudden need to be a homeowner, Alex?
Alex: Why the sudden need to be a ballbuster?
Meredith: Because it's my house. Seriously, why now?
Alex: I've been sleeping around a lot with interns.
Meredith: And you need more space for that?
Alex: I just, I-- I'm starting to wonder if I'm gonna be that guy who graduated from high school who hangs out in his El Camino looking to nail the freshman. I don't want to be that guy.
Meredith: So don't be that guy.
Alex: I know. I gotta grow up a little. So I stopped calling the interns, I stopped saying 'dude,' and now... I just want a place of my own. You get that, right?
Meredith: That may just be the dumbest and the saddest thing I've ever heard you say. And I've known you a long time.

Cristina: Say something that'll make him feel better.
Shane (to the patient, cherry): You're gonna be just fine, sir.
Cristina: Don't oversell it.
Heather: What do you think it is?
Cristina: Could be a fistula. Could be a dissection. We won't know until we get more studies and open him up.
Shane: Yes! (Cristina glares) Sorry.

Lawyer: Dr. Yang, if you could give me a few minutes.
Cristina: You know, I don't really have the time or need to keep dragging this out.
Lawyer: I-I respect that. That-- That's fine. But you were involved, and your statement could benefit your colleagues and their families. Anything you could say might be helpful.
Cristina: My shoulder hurt sometimes. I might have had some P.T.S.D.
Heather: You did throw that vase at me.
Cristina: That is hearsay... or something.

(On the phone)
Bailey: I am so sorry. I don't know what happened. That stupid intern's gonna hear about it, though.
Arizona: No, it's just-- It's a huge... It's a huge waste of my time!
Bailey: It is and I'm sorry. I will find out what happened to that chart and get it right over to you. (hangs up)
Leah: I'm sorry, but, Dr. Bailey, you never told me to deliver any chart.
Bailey: When you are spoken to.

Doctor's Lawyer: Would it be safe to say, that surgery, the one Dr. Torres performed on your hand, was your last hope at regaining your surgical career?
Derek: You could say that.
Doctor's Lawyer: Dr. Torres, you'd agree that with the failure of that surgery, Dr. Shepherd won't be able to--
Callie: Okay, I'm sorry. Uh, just to be clear, the surgery didn't fail. It-- It worked. The graft failed to take. Th-That was a risk we were willing--
Doctor's Lawyer: But Dr. Shepherd can no longer operate.
Callie: No. We'd hope we'd get 100 percent function--
Doctor's Lawyer: And it's expected that he will never operate again.
Callie: Um, I didn't say that.
Doctor's Lawyer: But if it is true, and you can help establish that as a fact, it would raise the award tremendously, for everyone.
Callie (sighs): No, in my opinion, Dr. Shepherd won't operate again.

April: Hey. (Jackson turns and walks away from her) Stop. (April drags him into an on-call room) You don't get to have sex with me and then just walk out without even so much as a 'have a nice day,' okay? I deserve more respect than that.
Jackson: What about me?
April: What about you?
Jackson: I have to stick around and listen to you compare sex with me to a fatal car crash? Hear how repellant, how disgusting...
April: No. No. No, no, no. Oh, my god, no. No, it is not you. You are great. You are not the problem.
Jackson: Okay, so then...
April (sighs): Okay, so, um... So you know when that dessert tray comes around, and you know you should say no because it's not nutritious and it's fattening and you just, you-- you know you shouldn't, but-- it's right there, and it's so beautifully made, and it looks so good. And you've-- you've had it before, so you just-- you know how... delicious it is. And it's just-- it's right there, you know?
Jackson: I do. Yeah, I know. (walks April back so she's against the door)
April: So... So you have it. You have the dessert. And it is delicious. (Jackson leans closer) I mean, it is... an amazing dessert...
Jackson: It is... really good.
April: For a moment, and then you feel tired and bloated and (Jackson slumps over, and puts his head on her shoulder) ...gassy and so, so guilty... like you just erased all the of exercise (walks to the other side of the room) you have ever done, and tomorrow, you're gonna wake up with zits all over your face. And Jesus is so disappointed in you again. And you just... (Jackson walks out) Are you kidding me?

Cristina: I'm Dr. Yang. Dr. Russell's cardiothoracic fellow.
Shane: Good to see you back, Dr. Yang.
Cristina: Have we met?
Heather: Um, sort of. You threw a vase full of flowers at our heads. (Shane & Heather laugh)
Cristina: Did I hurt you?
Heather: No.
Cristina: Well, there's still time.
Shane: I'm Dr. Ross.
Cristina: Since many of you will wash out or be fired, I won't waste time learning your names for at least a year. I will call you by your dwarf names. (to Shane) You, happy. (to Heather) You... Mousey.
Heather: There wasn't a dwarf named mousey.
Cristina: They saved her for you. Now get me up to speed-- Every patient, every chart. I want to know this floor better than you do.
Shane: Right.
Cristina: Wrong. You're surgical interns. No one should know this floor better than you. (to Shane) You're dopey now.
Shane (whispering to Heather): She's worse than Medusa.
Heather: I hate her.
Cristina: I heard that.

Jeff Russell: Well, I understand that you already know your way around, probably better than I do, so, um, welcome. And go. Have fun. See patients.
Cristina: I thought we might talk.
Jeff Russell: I wish I had the time.
Cristina: Dr. Russell--
Jeff Russell: Jeff.
Cristina: I am happy to be back at Seattle Grace Mercy West, but not if my progress ends here. I think my time would be best spent--
Jeff Russell: Dr. Yang... I am in the weeds. I have a huge myxoma on a pregnant lady, I am spearheading the first U.S. lotus valve implantation, I've got four papers that journals are breathing down my neck for, I've got an army of interns who could use... Who needs some... Who are stupid. Go. Run my service. Make me look great. Just don't kill my patients.
Cristina: Who's gonna assign my surgeries?
Jeff Russell: Um, you are. Call me if you do something really cool.
Cristina: Sir, I'm a fellow.
Jeff Russell: No, that's not what I've heard. I've heard you're as good, as capable, as excited about this work as I am, if not more. Go. Be that way.

Leah: You think it's something I did? With Karev? Because things were really heating up, and then suddenly, he stops returning my texts. He barely talks to me, and I can't figure out what happened.
Jo: What happened is, he's a guy.
Leah: So you think we're done?
Jo: You should be.
Leah: Yeah, but is he--
Jo: Leah, stop.
Lab Tech: Labs for... Santa Claus?
Jo: Yeah, mine. (takes them) What about Shane? He's nice.
Leah: Yeah, he is. I wish I liked nice.
Jo: Well, then you picked the right guy. Karev's mean.
Leah: And thoughtless and a douche.
Jo: And there's nothing wrong with him at all.
Leah: Karev?
Jo: Santa.

Jackson: Oh, the prodigal Yang returns. We've missed you.
Cristina: Yes, hi. Blah, blah. Pleasantries. Hey, what do you know about the new cardio chief-- Jeff... Randall?
Jackson: Russell. Nothing.
Cristina: Yeah. No one named Jeff has ever done anything substantial.
Jackson: Hey, Karev, when you buy Mer's house, can I get my old room back?
Alex: Nope. No roommates. We're not in college. We're real people now.
Cristina (to Mer): Wait. You're selling him your house?
Meredith: I might not. He wants me to rip out the floors.
Jackson: I'll take the floors as is.
April (calls out): Jackson. (Jackson hides)
Alex: Why don't you shack up with Kepner? You guys are always boinking anyway.
April (walks up): Where's he going?
Cristina: Away from you, it seems.
April: Cristina, glad you're back.
Cristina: You still doing it with Avery?
April: Does everybody know this now?
Cristina: God and everybody.
April: Four whole seconds I was glad you were back. (walks off)
Cristina: I gotta go meet this Jeff schmuck. (walks off)
Meredith: You were right.
Alex: About the floors?
Meredith (looking at scans): About the liver.
Alex: Oh, crap.

Meredith: You were supposed to tell me when Brain Danziger's labs came back.
Stephanie: Oh, I thought I was supposed to tell Dr. Karev. (Mer gives her a look) I should've told you, too. Uh, Brian Danziger's labs are back--
Meredith: Get away from me. (Stephanie walks away)
Cristina (walks up): Oh, not fair. You are the scariest one. That was always supposed to be me.
Meredith: You shouldn't have left.
Cristina: I'll establish dominance. Maybe I'll use one of the classics.
Meredith: How was Owen?
Cristina: You mean Chief Hunt? The husband formerly known as Owen is now just my employer. He gave me the orientation packet.

Jackson: Sir, we have a problem.
Richard: You don't have to call me sir.
Jackson: I do. It helps me. Sir... you need to get your Averys straight. (Richard looks confused) In your address book. Last night you sent an e-mail which, I believe, was for my mother.
Richard: Oh.
Jackson: It began "I can't sleep, thinking about you tonight"--
Richard: Uh, th-- that's enough.
Jackson: It would have been for me, too. But it really goes on. Sir, I do not like thinking about you in that way, or my mother, in that way, or you and my mother, in that way.
Richard: Message received, son. It won't happen again.
Jackson: Mnh-mnh. Don't-- Don't call me 'son'.
Richard: I-- I meant it colloquially. But that won't happen again either.
Jackson: I took the liberty of forwarding your e-mail on to my mother.
Richard: Thank you for that.
Jackson: Alright, sir.

(On the phone)
Arizona: Hello.
Bailey: Hey, Arizona. It's Miranda Bailey. How are you?
Arizona: Uh... (chuckles) Well, I'm, you know, I'm--
Bailey: I- I wish I had time to talk, but I'm calling for a favor. I have a 13 year-old female three days post appendectomy with a persistent sore throat and as of this morning, serve swelling on the left side of her neck. I-I'm kind of at a loss here.
Arizona: Well... get a C.T.
Bailey: I am. I am. I just thought that you might know off the top of your head. Have you ever seen something like this?
Arizona: Maybe. I- I mean I'd have to take a look at the chart. You know, Bailey, I'm-- I'm not really back to work yet, and-- and I'm busy.
Bailey: I know, I know. I just... Wh-What if I have, um, an intern bring you a copy of the chart? You take a look. If it sparks anything, you can call me back.
Arizona: Well, can't you just e-mail it?
Bailey: Um, not scanned yet.
Arizona: Fine. Fine Just send the chart over.
Bailey: Oh, thanks so much.

Meredith: You're lucky I'm even selling you this house.
Alex: You're lucky I'm buying it. That list is the tip of the iceberg. I mean, there's dry rot--
Meredith: There is no dry rot.

(After they have sex)
Jackson: Wow. that was...
April: So... So stupid.
Jackson: Not where I was going with that.
April: Oh, what-- (laughs) What is wrong with me? How many times can I say this is not happening and the next thing I know, it's happened? I am... I'm so weak.
Jackson: You're not weak. You're just--
April: Disgusting. I was a good person once. A person with willpower. I have fasted before. This is worse. This just feels helpless and inevitable. Like... Like watching two cars head toward one another and... there's nothing you can do. There's gonna be a crash. People are going to die. And you're just gonna be left there-- (Jackson walks out)

Jo: I hate Karev.
Heather: Seconded.
Stephanie: Oh, motion carried. We hate Karev. (to Jo) What happened to you?
Jo: I'm covering the pit and Santa Claus came to town. You know, I was starting to think that he was an okay guy, but he's just mean.
Shane: Santa?
Jo: Karev.
Heather: Santa came in two weeks ago, and he barfed all over me, too. He barfed all day.
Leah: Did he say anything about me?
Jo: Santa?
Leah: Karev.
Stephanie: Oh, don't do that. Don't be the sad girl with the hang-up. It's pathetic.
Shane: He slept with Heather. She's not hung up.
Stephanie: Why would you start your year by having sex with your boss anyway?
Leah: 'Cause he's stupid hot. (walks out, Steph looks to Heather)
Heather: I have social anxiety, so sometimes it's easier than talking.
Shane: I'm a really good listener. I'm just sayin'. (smiles, Heather shoves him)
Jo: Jackasses, all of you.

Meredith (waves a piece of paper in front of Alex): What is this?
Alex: What?
Meredith: This list your real estate agent sent to mine. 'Repair discolored/burrowed porch, hardwood floors.'
Alex: Oh, that's just some stuff you've got to take care of.
Meredith: 'Repair/refinish wood molding in door jams?'
Alex: Yeah, they're all scratched up. There's, like, five things you gotta fix.
Meredith: And what if I don't?
Alex: Well, then I'm not buying your house.
Meredith: Well, that's crazy, because you begged me to sell you the house. We made a deal, we shook on it, we drank on it.
Alex: These are reasonable requests. Come on, Mer. We're friends, but this is business. We gotta be like grown ups here.
Meredith: Did you just tell me to grow up?

Alex: Wilson, you stink.
Jo: Vomit. It's vomit. I'm covering the pit, and Santa Claus came to town.
Alex: I don't need a play-by-play. Go clean yourself up.
Jo: That's what I'm doing.
Alex: Go. You're disgusting.

Bailey: Today is, uh, knee replacement day, right?
Callie: Had to cancel them. We're meeting with our lawyers today about the crash.
Bailey: Oh. How's that going?
Callie: Uh, I'm... (sighs) Not allowed to say.
Bailey: Alright. That's fine. How's Arizona?
Callie: Not allowed to say.
Bailey (sighs): You.
Callie: She won't... see anyone. She won't even leave the house. Yeah, and... she's walking. She's even working with her prosthesis, but, you know, it has to be perfect. I try to be encouraging but then she tells me I'm pushing her.
Bailey: Tell her I say get her ass in here.
Callie: Oh. (laughs) Sweet. She can be cranky and resentful to you.

Meredith: (opening voiceover) Doctors have never had all the answers. There was a time when you were sick and we would just drain your blood, like you were getting an oil change. We're constantly having to rethink what we thought was true. And redefine it.