-
Izzie: I would really like to scrub in.
Bailey: Did you deposit the check?
Izzie: It's my money. I should get to do what I want with it.
Bailey: You get a 5% return on the 6 month c.d.? And the time we've been standing here, you could have just made 400 hundred dollars.
-
Heather: What are you all staring at? Really, if you're expecting me to be the brave and heartwarming differently-abled girl, that isn't going to be happen so go ahead and do your thing.
Bailey: Stevens.
Izzie: Heather Douglas, 17. Past medical history of VATER syndrome.
Bailey: Which is?
Izzie: VATER syndrome is a genetic condition that affects the vertebrae, anus, trachea, esophagus and renal system.
Heather: Wow, give this girl a medal. She memorized the whole acronym, which I assure you is a hell of a lot easier than living with it.
-
Addison: But, if you wanna go back to plastics...
Alex: Nah. That vanilla latte, that was on purpose.
Addison: Why?
Alex: Because he was rude to you. (they lean in and are about to kiss, but someone walks in)
-
Addison: Mark. (pause) I'm sorry you're hurting.
Mark: You're sorry I'm hurting or you're sorry?
-
Izzie (to bank accountant while crying hysterically): Just deposit the damn thing already!
-
Jerry: Georgie is obsessed with our dad's pee.
Ronnie: Yeah, this is weird, even for Georgie.
Louise: Boys, be nice.
George: It's his kidney function! I'm obsessed with his kidney function, not his pee! And I'm not obsessed, I'm excited.
Ronnie: You're not gonna drink that? Are you, Georgie?
George (holding up bag): 130 C.C.'s! 130 C.C.'s of shiny, yellow urine!
Callie: 130 C.C.'s in how long?
George: Four hours.
Callie: No way! That is fantastic! (George and Callie start dancing and celebrating, then George kisses her)
-
Addison (to Alex during surgery): This is Meredith Grey's niece. If I lost her, people might think I did it on purpose.
-
Meredith: Where do you sleep at the trailer?
Derek: What?
Meredith: When we sleep at the trailer, where do you sleep?
Derek: You know the hammock outside? Sorry.
Meredith: I'm a girl with abandonment issues. You have to sleep with me from now on.
Derek: Okay.
-
(Meredith has found Derek asleep in George's bed)
Meredith: So you're telling me that my snoring is so bad -- How did you deal with all those nights before I found out about your wife? (Izzie walks past on her way to the bathroom)
Izzie: He usually sleeps on the couch, sets an alarm, gets back into bed before you wake up.
Derek: Yeah, I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Meredith: I'm going to do more than hurt your feelings. (Meredith starts to hit him with a pillow, he puts his arms around her)
Derek: I'm gonna hurt your feelings cause -- (Derek breathes his bad morning breath into Meredith's face, they laugh)
-
Callie: It's okay to be scared.
George: I'm not scared.
Callie: I'm just saying if you are, you can talk to me.
George: I'm not scared.
Callie: You sure about that? (Callie stares down Geroge)
George: Okay, now I'm scared of you.
Callie: Damn it. I was staring you down.
George: Staring me down?
Callie: Yeah, it worked on Shepherd.
George: Seriously?
Callie: Wait, let me try it again. (Callie stares George down again)
George: No, it's not -- I'm still scared.
-
Heather: Mom, I know you still think death is the worst thing that can happen to a person. Death is not the worst thing.
-
Alex: Bone-dry cappicino.
Mark (takes it from him): Great, at least somethin's dry here. Does it ever stop raining in this hell-hole?
Alex: No, not really.
Mark: Great, good to know. (takes a sip of the cappicino and chokes) What the hell is this Karev? Vanilla? Are you trying to poison me, or are you just trying to make my day a little bit worse?
Addison: Mark.
Alex: Coffee cart must've screwed up.
Mark: Y'know, if you can't handle coffee, you can't handle plastics, maybe you ought to head back to the gynie squad where everything is squishy and pink!
-
Izzie: Surgery's today?
George: Yeah, I'm okay.
Izzie: Yeah, I have a really good feeling. I didn't even bake anything for you.
George (happily): Thank you.
-
(Derek is watching Meredith snore, she wakes up)
Meredith: You're watching me sleep again?
Derek: You're cute when you sleep. What can I say?
Meredith: Yeah, but don't you sleep? Why are you always up before the alarm?
Derek: I'm a light sleeper. It's no big deal.
Meredith: So something woke you up?
Derek: It's no big deal. It's just that you snore a little.
Meredith: What? I do not!
Derek: Yes, you do. I love it. I find it charming that such a big noise can come from such a little person.
Meredith: Do you know what's not charming? Your morning breath.
Derek: I'm sorry. What? (Derek puts his hand to his mouth and smells his breath)
Meredith: I'm just saying since you're always up before me you might consider brushing your teeth.
-
Heather: Well, there goes my theory that life doesn't suck for pretty people. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you.
Izzie: Well, you're in pain. Sometimes I'm a bitch for no good reason at all.
-
Callie: You know Shepherd pretty well, yeah?
Bailey: Lots of hair, too many women, likes elevators and long walks on the beach.
Callie: So, um, what's the best way to get him to do something?
Bailey: What kind of something?
Callie: A consult that the patient hasn't requested but that the friendly neighborhood ortho resident thinks is worth pursuing.
Bailey: Shepherd thinks he's busier and a maybe little bit more important than everyone else.
Callie: Standard neuro surgeon breed.
Bailey: Exactly.
Callie: Okay so...?
Bailey: So, he'll say no until you stare him down.
Callie: Stare him down?
Bailey (intensely): Stare. Him. Down. (Bailey stares down Callie, she laughs then walks away scared)
-
Mark: What did I tell you about how I like my charts? I like to round on pre-op before post-op. Do you like wasting my time? Is it fun for you?
Alex: No, sir.
Mark: Then get it right.
Addison (over hearing): Do you like abusing the interns? Is it fun for you?
Mark: Yes, it is, and in case you've forgotten, you don't get the high horse this week, Addison. Not this week.
Alex: He's an ass.
Addison: Not this week.
-
Cristina: Hey, are you okay?
Meredith: Why wouldn't I be?
Cristina: Your father, freezing up on rounds. Oh, God, that was mortifying.
Meredith: Thank you. Thanks.
Cristina: Oh, okay, it wasn't mortifying?
Meredith: I just wish the baby would get well and go home and Thatcher would go with her. Is that wrong?
Cristina: Wrong would be if you wished the baby wouldn't get well.
-
Cristina: I need these labs ASAP.
Lab Tech: Everybody needs everything "ASAP".
Cristina: Oh, yes, and all throughout this hospital people are dying while you give me crap about "ASAP".
-
Izzie: I am ready.
Bailey: Your psychiatrist has not given you an all clear.
Izzie: He's -- I have done everything he has asked me to do. Everything except deposit my inheritance check, which --
Bailey: Wait, you have not deposited a nearly 9 million dollar check?
Izzie: He is being unreasonable. That check has nothing to do with any--
Bailey: What's unreasonable is that you're losing thousands of dollars a day in interest. That's unreasonable. You clearly are not reasonable yet, which, I think, is the point your psychiatrist is trying to make.
-
Izzie: Removing the kidney stones may seem minor but it will really improve your quality of life.
Heather: Really? So this surgery is gonna get me laid?
Rhada: Heather, stop it.
Heather: Mom, I'm sorry but she's talking about improving my quality of life and I don't think doctors should make promises they can't keep.
-
Richard: Who is presenting?
Mr. O'Malley: Can Georgie do it? He's real good. (O'Malley family cheers George on)
George: Harold O'Malley, 63, status post aortic valve replacement. Morning chest X-ray showed no atelectasis after agressive C.P.T. for the last 2 days. Scheduled for a transhiatal esophagectomy tomorrow morning at 9. (the O'Malley family looks at George confused) That's it. (O'Malley's cheer)
-
George: I just dropped 8.7 million dollars on the floor.
Izzie: And?
George: I shouldn't be able to drop 8.7 million dollars on the floor. (George throws orange at Izzie's newspaper) You need to deposit that check!
Izzie: George, your father's surgery is tomorrow. Any chance you are misplacing your anxiety on me and my check?
George: No, there is no chance. That check ruins my morning every morning. It belongs in a bank. Would you just please, as a favor to me, would you just put it in the bank, please?
Izzie: Hmm. No, but if you're nice to me for the next seven minutes I will give you a ride to work. (George picks up the check from the floor)
George: You don't deserve 8.7 million dollars!
Izzie: Mmm. So true.
-
(Derek watches Meredith snoring, she wakes up)
Meredith: Are you watching me sleep?
Derek: Maybe.
Meredith: Are you some kind of weirdo who watches women sleep?
Derek: Maybe.