Dr. Meredith Grey
Dr. Derek Shepherd
Dr. Cristina Yang
Dr. Alex Karev
Dr. Miranda Bailey
Dr. Richard Webber
Dr. Phil Stark
Derek: Good morning.
Meredith: Good night.
April: I had to use soap and water.
April: The acetone didn't work on the super glue until I mixed it with soap and water.
Jackson: I could use a little soap and water right now, I feel disgusting.
Meredith: I can smell you from up here.
April: Dibs on the shower.
Alex: I want a beer. Who's up for a beer?
Lexie: Where do you get a beer at 6am?
Meredith: At home.
Alex: What can Stark do? I mean, we had to operate.
Meredith: He can yell; he will yell.
Alex: It doesn't matter. You know, the kid's in good shape, the mom's happy. We did what we were trained to do.
Meredith: Remember the first day the Chief said only two of us would make it?
Alex & Meredith (same time): I thought it'd be me and Cristina.
Alex: How are we the last two standing?
Stark (walks in): I'm gonna make your lives a living hell. And you know what? I'm gonna enjoy it. You lied to my patient's, you hi-jacked an OR, you performed a surgery that you had no possible business performing and for the life of me, I don't know what you were thinking?! Medicine has a heirarchy for a reason. (Alex sees the Richard watching and Richard smiles at Alex & Meredith and they smile back) If there had been a complication, you know whose ass would've been on the line here? Mine! (continues to rant as the screen fades)
Lexie (about Riley & Lucas' parents): Okay, I told them about the surgery an his recovery process. Do you think I should tell them about his high chance of infection or...? I don't know, I don't wanna worry them anymore than I have to.
Jackson: No, just tell them that he's gonna feel pretty awful. That he lived and his brother died. That every time he feels glad to be alive, he'll hate himself for it. Just tell them to look out for it. (looks pointdly at Lexie) He won't want to talk about it, but he'll be glad they know.
April: Oh, good. You're awake.
Bailey: Indoor voice. Please.
April: Sorry. You know, I apperciate you opening up to me, you always have that super serious Dr. Bailey face on, I couldn't even tell if you liked me but... now I mean, well, I- I think that we're friends exactly, but sort of, don't you think?
Bailey: Dr. Kepner. This... never happened. This never happened. Got it?
Bailey: Say the words. This...
April: Never happened.
Mark: Oh, I was just thirsty. I didn't wake you, did I?
Callie: Oh, no. No, I was um... awake.
Callie: I want um... Sorbet.
Mark: Sweet tooth? I think I have some cookies around here somewhere.
Callie: Mark. (gives him a look)
Mark: Oh. Oh. Really?
Callie: Really. (they look at each other for another minute and then they start making out)
Meredith: Can you believe that we called an entire OR team and they came? It's amazing.
Alex: We've got balls.
Meredith: You've got balls. I've got cojones.
Alex: You know those are balls, right?
Bailey (as her phone is ringing): Ooh, it's the OR! (laughs, then hands the phone to April)
April (answering the phone): Uh, Hello, Dr. Bailey's phone. (Bailey's laughing) No, uh, she's indisposed at the moment. Could you uh, page someone else, thank you. (hangs up)
Bailey (laughs): Okay, good. Now, gimme my phone. I need to call Ben.
April: Who's Ben?
Bailey: My ex. I dumped him. Which I now realize was a big mistake so... I wanna call him. I wanna call him and tell him I have needs... 'Cause he understood how to take care of my needs in a way my husband did not! I wanna tell him that. (laughs) So gimme my phone.
April: A-are you sure about that?
April: Because drunk dialing never really ends well. I- I... (Bailey grabs the phone from her)
Bailey: You are a virgin!
April: Wow. Word really does travel around here.
Bailey: I'm Bailey. I know everything. Kep-- Come here, Kepner. Come. (April leans towards her) Closer. Closer. (loudly) Alex Karev is not the boy you want to take your maiden voyage with.
April: Oh, god. Oh, god! Yes, I know. I am aware, you don't need to tell me.
Bailey: You take your maiden voyage with a nice boy. A kind boy. A boy who loves you. A boy that you love so much you wanna super glue yourself to him. You wait. You hear me? You keep your knees together. Believe me, even though, you haven't met your Ben yet, you will meet your Ben. Not my Ben. But you're own Ben. Who might or might not be called Ben. ... Use soap and warm water.
April: On... My maiden voyage?
Bailey: On the super glue. Use soap and warm water and a bit of acidtone.
April: Oh! Yes, ma'am. Thank you.
Meredith: Alex, hold on. Are we really gonna call in a whole OR team without an attending? I mean, what if Stark doesn't answer the page? What if he doesn't come in on time?
Alex: What if the kid dies while we're waiting to find out? Look, I'm taking this kid to the OR whether Stark comes or not. Like the Chief said, this is how you get things done at night.
Meredith: What if we have to do a tricothrocotomy? Or a pyloraplasty? Have you ever done those on your own?
Alex: Not only can I do it. I can do it better than Stark. Are you in or out?
Meredith: Oh, like hell if I'm gonna let you do it without me. I'm in.
Mark: All I'm sayin' is that, that red-head missed out. (Callie laughs) If Joe's were a lesbian bar, you'd be up to your ears in...
Callie: Please. Don't say vagina.
Mark: Well, now I don't have to.
Callie: God, I hate being drunk. You think it's gonna make you feel awesome and happy but it just makes you feel tired and gross.
Mark: Well, Yang looked like she was having fun tonight.
Callie: What? The crazy party girl thing? That's crap. Every girl who climbs up on table thinks she's the hottest girl in the room, but really, she's just dancing alone.
Mark: You okay?
Callie: Yeah. I just uh, I need to sleep. I need to sleep.
Meredith: Hey, Dr. Altman, are you availible for a consult? I'm just waiting on some CT results.
Teddy: Oh, well, Joe took my keys so I'm-- I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be practicing medicine.
Meredith: What are you doing here then?
Teddy: Well, I'm killing time until Joe gives me my keys back.
Meredith: Can't you do that at the bar?
Teddy: Cristina Yang is bartending, so no, I can't. It's too... It's too depressing.
Meredith: Cristina's bartending as what? Some sort of joke? Or...
Teddy: As some kinda bartender. (Mer makes a face) Yeah, I know, that look on your face, that's how my whole body feels. And not just 'cause Cristina makes the world's strongest drink. But because my aspiration couple has broken up and they're living on two seperate continents and 'cause I'm dating men who still live with their mother. But they don't admit on their profiles. They wait. They wait until I've spent an hour applying my make-up and driving cross town and then they tell me that small little detail. Oh, oh, and my star student, my most promising resident that I have ever seen, is mixing Irish car bombs for a bachlor party over at Joe's bar. I'm not even gonna mention that she's letting the bachlor's feel her up at will 'cause that just adds insult to injury. Crap. I'm really drunk.
April: Dr. Bailey! I'm so glad you're here.
Bailey: I'm not here. You don't see me. I just need a nap before I go home, but first, (notices a vending machine and stops) I need some food.
April: Ah, this will just take a second. I got these two 15 year-olds, they super glued themselves together, (Bailey laughs and opens her purse to get money out) they're in love or whatever they think are. Whatever, I've tried uh petroleum and acidtone but...
Bailey: Don't seperate them.
Bailey (trying but failing to put her dollar in the machine): Young people need love, too, Kepner. We all need love. If the world had more love we could get rid of wars. And fistulas. Why won't this damn thing take my money?
April: Dr. Bailey, are you drunk?
Bailey: Tipsy. (tries to put the dollar in the machine again) Oh, a little tispy.
April: Right. (takes the dollar from her) I'm gonna go ahead and take care of that for you.
Callie: Well, turns out she was eyeing my new hair-cut and not me. I gave her the hair dresser's number though, so...
Mark: Well, you tried. You put yourself out there, that's what counts.
Teddy (drunkly): Uh, yeah, no, that counts for nothin'. 'Cause I put myself out there everyday, you know, I write online profiles, I check the boxes that say I like liking and dogs. And...
Bailey (drunkly): Is there a box for fistulas? 'Cause that's what I want. A guy that can talk fistulas. I want a guy that can direct me towards a better scientific understanding of just why a fistula may occur in patients that are healthy one minute and die the next. ... Find a man that's interested in fistulas and pancreases and you'll find a man that's not internet dating.
April: What are you doing in the attendings lounge? You could get in trouble.
April: I have stupid teenage patients who super glued themselves together so that their parents can't tear them apart.
Meredith: Mmm. That sounds romantic.
April: Yeah, more like moronic. I have no idea how to get them apart without taking off half their skin.
Alex: Try acetone.
April: Try going away. Meredith, any ideas?
Meredith: Mmm. Acetone?
April: Thank you.
Teddy (looking at Cristina serving shots): How are we letting this happen? I mean, seriously, how are we just okay with it?
Callie: Oh, I'm not okay. I'm jealous. Cristina gets to live out the 20's we never got to because we were stuck in med school. Watch, ten years from now, we'll all have a mid-life crisis and end up doing the same thing.
Bailey (drinks another one of Cristina's drinks): Except we'll be in our 40's and won't look as cute.
Mark: How many of those have you had?
Bailey: Hey, my son is with his father. I have 24 hours child-free. If Cristina Yang can tend bar because she wants to, then I can drink 'cause I want to.
Callie: Does she mention me?
Callie: I know she writes to you. So. I'm asking you if she's mentioned me.
Teddy: Well, she's been very um... (Bailey tries not to laugh and then shakes her head towards Teddy) She's um... She just sorta dove right into the medicine. And she's been... she's been busy... and just, uh.... Does that help at all?
Callie: I can't believe this. I can't believe that I'm here, again.
Mark: No, no, no. You're not doing this. You're not going down this rabbit hole.
Callie: I have to start all over. All over! I don't even know how to do that.
Mark: I do. You might need a little sexual palate cleaser.
Teddy: A palate cleaser? Are you serious?
Mark: What? It works.
Bailey (drunkly): Sexual sorbet? (laughs) I love it! (everyone laughs)
Mark: It's rude to ditch out on your own party, you know.
Derek: Yang is bartending. You know how disturbing that is?
Mark: It's a phase. She's gonna be fine. Besides, you won one of the most prestigest grants out there, this night's about you, not Yang. (Derek continues to watch Cristina) Suit yourself.
Cristina: Another scotch?
Cristina (pours the scotch): On the house.
Joe: Hey, if every drink is on the house, then eventually there will be no house.
Cristina: Right. 6 dollars.
Joe: Actually, that's 8 dollars.
Derek (hands Cristina money): You having fun?
Cristina: I am.
Derek: Good. That's good.
Callie: What, you're back already? That date wasn't even like what, an hour?
Teddy (sighs): I need a drink. (grabs Cristina's Alzheimer's drink)
Callie: Ooh, careful.
Derek: You don't... (Teddy gulps it all down) Oooh.
Bailey: Hey, that was mine! Now you have to order me another one.
Teddy: Oh, God. That's disgusting. Right, okay, so get this: His very first question... 'So, what's your favorite food?'
Mark: What did you say?
Teddy: French. But that's not the point. Why would he ask me what my favorite food was? Like, he read that that's some good ice breaker from some internet hand book that was handed out at the Loser Fair. Ugh!
Derek: This is why you don't meet people on the internet.
Teddy: You're married. You don't get to have an opinion about my pathetic forage into internet dating.
Mark: You do need a drink. (passes Teddy his scotch)
Teddy: Thank you. (downs the scotch in one shot and looks at Callie) Go to Africa.
Teddy: Arizona's an idiot and she's a fool, and you need to go there and tell her that I told you to say that dating is evil, and what the two of you have is rare and-- and that she's an idiot. Get on an airplane and go to Africa and thank God that you never have to go on a first date again.
Callie: Yeah, I'm not going to Africa.
Teddy: Well, then, you're just as big an idiot as she is.
Derek: Torres is a grown woman. You can't make her do something she doesn't wanna do.
Teddy: Okay again, Mr. Perfect married guy, you don't get to open your mouth.
Callie: Alright, try not to screw up our patients. Good night, and good luck.
Mark: We'll be over at the bar, try not to need us.
Mark: Did you just yawn? Was that a yawn?
Teddy: Don't tell us that you're tired after getting to sleep all day.
April: It's not as easy as it sounds.
Bailey: Not easy? Not... When I was a resident, I actually worked for a living, I did every other night call for five years.
Stark: There were days when I didn't go home for 72 hours. I loved it.
Alex: As you trudged through the snow while you widdled your own little scalpels. (Lexie and Jackson try not to laugh)
Jackson: Nice face.
Alex: Well, at least I can do surgery. How's that hand?
Jackson: Ah, it'd be better if you hadn't run your face into it. (Alex laughs)
Meredith: So, he beats the hell outta you, and now you're laughing about it?
Alex: Ah, some of us can move on.
April (sighs): You're sitting on my coat.
Alex: And some of us can't.
Derek: It's Night of the Living Dead out there.
Meredith (has her head covered by a pillow): I'm still sleeping.
Derek: A whole day happened while you were sleeping. Let's see, I did three aneursym surgeries, I consulted on a massive spinal tumor, that was neat. I got the Phillip's grant, and oh, by the way, the soup of the day in the cafeteria was potato leek soup.
Meredith: You got the grant? You got the Alzheimer's grant?
Derek: Yeah, (they kiss) I got the grant. Mark is putting together a celebration at Joe's but I would much rather stay here and celebrate with you. (they kiss)
Meredith: I am late for work. (they kiss) Gotta love the night shift. Proud of you.
Derek: Thank you.
April: Oh, Dr. Shepherd, there's french toast and coffee, if you want breakfast.
Derek: It's 6pm.
April: Right, um... bacon for your dinner?
Derek: Thank you, no.
Meredith (closing voiceover): Under the cover of darkness, people do things they never do under the harsh glare of day. Decisions feel wiser. People feel older. But, when the sun rises, you have to take responsibility for what you did in the dark. And face yourself under the cold harsh light of day.
Meredith (opening voiceover): We doctors take pride in the fact that we can basically sleep standing up. Anytime, anywhere. But, it's a false pride because the truth is after twenty hours without sleep you might as well just come to work drunk, doctor or not. So it's no wonder that fatal medical errors increase at night when we doctors are proudly sleeping on our feet. Recently our communal pride has been shattered and our egos have been wounded by new laws that require we sleep all day before we work all night. We are not happy about it. But, as someone who might need medical care, you really should be.
Derek (about Cristina): You know, you can fire for drinking on the job.
Joe: Are you kidding me? I did that three hours ago. Take her home.
Derek: I can't. Not until she wants to go.
Joe: Why not?
Derek: Because she's got a lot of people telling her what to do and she doesn't need to hear it from me.
Joe: So what are you gonna do?
Derek: I'm gonna sit here and drink water and make sure she doesn't leave with anybody.
Joe: Really? That's your whole plan?
Derek: Well, if she's going to act like a stripper, I'm going to act like a bouncer.
Owen: She sat on the sofa for three days straight watching informercials and eating cereal out of the box. So, yeah, yeah, I told her to get a job.
Callie: But you didn't specify what kind?
Owen: I thought she'd go to a lab or- or the morgue. I didn't expect this.
Derek: Tell her you changed your mind. Tell her she can be a housewife for all you care. (Owen laughs)
Callie (laughs): I think that the only thing she'd be worse at than bartending is housewifing.
Mark: What's so bad about bartending? She's not dancin' on a pole.
Owen: I give this one night. I mean, this Cristina Yang, Beverly Hills, she does not enjoy serving people.
Cristina (walks up with a tray of drinks, cheerful): Alright! I call this 'Early On-Set Alzheimer's' because you won't remember anything after you drink it. (hands out drinks) To Shepherd and his genius brain crap.
Everyone: To Shepherd! (they all take a sip of their drink and make faces to how strong it is)
Callie: Oh, God. This is strong.
Mark: Yeah, I'm gonna need a scotch.
Derek: Yeah, make it two.
Derek: Early on-set Alzheimer's, you don't think that's a little distasteful?
Bailey: I think it's delicious.
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Dobré ráno, dobrou noc (Good Morning, Good Night)
Music Featured In This Episode:
1.Runaway by The National
2.Run To The Sun by Vassy
3.Open by Free & Easy
4.Celebrate by Imani Coppola
5.Bleeding by Calahan
6.Immune by Amateur Night
7.She's Goin' Down by Ali Dee
8.Feels Like Rain by Calahan
9.Alive by Goldfrapp
10.Made For Us by Mackintosh Braun
11.You Are Invisible by Anya Marina
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: November 18, 2010 on CTV
Sweden: December 1, 2010 on Kanal 5
United Kingdom: March 2, 2011 on Sky Living
Germany: May 18, 2011 on ProSieben
Norway: September 13, 2011 on TV2
Czech Republic: January 30, 2012 on Prima LOVE
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