Dr. Meredith Grey
Dr. Derek Shepherd
Dr. Cristina Yang
Dr. Alex Karev
Dr. Miranda Bailey
Dr. Richard Webber
Goof: Richard, Bailey, Cristina and a med student are in a room looking at a pheochromocytoma on an abdominal MRI scan. The medical student points to the transverse colon asking if that is the tumor. Cristina tells him it's the gallbladder. The gallbladder isn't even in the image they are pointing to. Also, Cristina later points out the kidney, "adrenal gland" and tumor, even though neither of the adrenal glands is actually present in that particular slice. However, the right kidney does demonstrate a round soft tissue lesion.
Arizona: I bail. Okay, when things get hard, I... I walk away, maybe it's because I grew up an army brat and we moved every 18 months. Maybe I never learned to commit, but I'm here now, and I'm staying because I'm gonna fight to make sure you know that I'm commited to this thing. I'm not perfect but neither are you, and you... you wanna talk about faults? How about not being able to forgive? At some point your gonna have to forgive me, and it may as well be now because I am in love with you, Calliope, (Callie finally looks at Arizona) and you are in love with me and all I'm asking for is one more chance.
Callie (turns to face her): You want another chance?
Arizona: Yes. More than anything, I want another chance. (smiles)
Callie: Today I found out that I'm pregnant. With Mark's baby. (Arizona's face drops, her smile instantly fades) How about now?
Meredith: So, I peed on ten sticks today.
Meredith: And I stole them from the clinic because they're $15 at the store.
Derek: So you're a thief, is that what you're telling me?
Meredith: A barren thief.
Derek (getting into bed): Look, it takes time getting pregnant.
Meredith: Not for some people. Some people hit it on the first try.
Derek: Well, those people are over-achievers.
Meredith: I am an over-achiever. That's the whole thing. I spent my whole day peeing on sticks and not teaching my med student, so I'm getting my ass kicked in this race for chief resident. So, I'm not over-achieving at anything. I used to be hardcore. Now, I'm softcore.
Derek: Did we just start talking about porn?
Meredith (laughs): Stop it, I'm upset.
Derek: You're just upset because we haven't made a baby. And I say practice makes perfect.
Arizona: I don't know, okay? I-I don't know what my worst faults are. I mean, I try not to think about them, I'm not proud of that, so just tell me. What the hell do I have to cop to to make her give me another chance?
Mark: You bail. When things get hard, you bail.
Jackson: Oh, you're kidding. They were evaluating us?
Meredith: Don't worry, no one will read them. They'll just get filed away in a room next to the morgue.
Richard (walks in, holding the evaluations): Dr. Yang, lacked patience and basic compassion. Dr. Kepner, unwilling to delegate. Dr. Avery, placed his own learning opportunities before my own. And Dr. Grey, seemed to have a lot going on personally today. The only one of you who seemed to actually teach today was Dr. Karev. The rest of you failed, big time.
Teddy: I'm sorry, I really am.
Henry: You're also angry. That I put you as my emergency contact.
Teddy: This was supposed to be about paperwork. Life and death decisions, it wasn't part of our deal.
Henry: I'm fourty-two years old. I lost my mom and dad four and five years ago, respectivly. And my sister lives in Prague, which is a longer story than you want to hear. And when I talk to her, I tend to air on the side of 'how are the kids? And everything here's great' because she's broke and because my health thing is... It's exhausting. I used to have a best friend but he married and woman who made sure I knew that my health thing was exhausting. Because I kept maxing out my insurance policies, I had to switch jobs about nine times, in the past five years. So I've always been the new guy in the cubical by the bathroom who takes a lot of sick days. That's not a guy people make friends of. It's not my intention to make you feel sorry for me. It's my intention to apologize and to explain that in the city, you're the closest thing that I have to a friend. That's why I put you down as my emergency contact. Not because of the fake marriage, but because I consider you a friend.
Arizona: Stubborn, passive-aggressive, uh, I resent obligation, just tell me when I'm getting warm here.
Mark: I choose her over you in the divorce, you know that right?
Arizona: Of course, of course. But that's because you two have been friends forever. And you and I are like siblings, we fight, we get on in other's nerves, but the point is, you're like family to me, Mark. I mean that.
Mark: Patronizing. Add that to the listen.
Teddy: Okay, lay it on me.
Bailey: Lay what on 'ya?
Teddy: The speech. You know, 'the chief is right and what you did was totally inappropiate' speech.
Bailey: Oh, the speech. Um... Okay, I'm not dating a nurse. We are not dating but we are having fun. I look at him and he's pretty, but there's no future. He's just... I mean, I- I would not have him to my house or introduce him to my child because who knows what he would do... He left a dirty note for me in a chart. Now, what if... What if the chief opened the chart and found the... it's inappropiate! That's-- That's what he is. He is inappropiate. ... But I'm gonna go with it... (laughs) 'cause, you know, why not? I mean, that's my attitude these days. Why the hell not?
Fred: I have a PhD, after college I got a PhD, and then I went to medical school. And I'm number one in my class. I know you think I'm an idiot, but I'm not. I've seen this stuff in textbooks, I've just never seen it up close before. ... Whatever. Think what you want of me.
Cristina: You wanna not be an idiot? Back up your resident no matter what, never under-cut them in front on their boss, and when a patient asks you for information you're not allowed to give them, stall, or say 'you don't know', just wait long enough until the attending gets there. The attending takes the lead. And if you ever panic or feel faint in an OR again, just... stop thinking there's a body open on the table in front of you. Just stop thinking. And take a deep breath. It usually helps.
Fred: Wow, now I feel like an ass. Just disregard my evaluation.
Cristina: What evaluation?
Fred: We turned in evaluations on you guys.
Cristina: What did you say?
Fred: Um... I mighta used the word... heartless. Among others.
Eli: So, did you get my note?
Eli: I guess you got my note. What do you think?
Bailey: I think you're dirty, is what I think.
Eli: You wanna be dirty with me? Show me those on-call rooms you doctors are always having sex in.
Bailey: I'm going home.
Eli (kisses her): If you change your mind, I get off in an hour.
Kyle: This was supposed to be the best day of our lives. You think I'm silly, I know. With the horses and the bagpipes. ... So, does he. We don't get marriage in Washington. We get domestic partnerships. ... We get to go to city hall and stand in line and sign some papers. Mail it in, if you're even more romantic. So call me crazy, but I- I just wanted the big day that everybody else gets. And I fought for it. I organized rallies, I stood in the cold outside the state house. I had some neandrathal throw hot coffee on me. I fought for a wedding. ... And waited. And they still said no. So, when we got tired of waiting, when Brady and I went to go sign the papers, I wanted it to be special. ... He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I wanted it to feel like that. Not like some trip to the DMV. I wanted it to be special. Instead, I nearly killed him.
Callie (understanding): Things don't go the way you want them to, ever.
(After Fred, her med student faints in surgery)
Cristina: Sorry about that, sir.
Richard: Oh, that's fine. That's exactly why I like seeing first year med students here once a year. It reminds me where I started. ... Humility. That's another good quality for a chief resident. Wouldn't you say, Dr. Bailey?
Bailey: It was always one of my best qualities.
Richard: Also, it's funny when they fall down.
Arizona: Okay, tell me about your cadavar bone thing for Sarah.
Mark: Really? Look at you. Did somebody maybe listen to what somebody else had to say?
Arizona: Okay, I get it. I suck. I'm a stuck-up, self-righteous bitch and Callie wants nothing to do with me ever again. But can you just drop it and tell me about the damn surgery.
Arizona: Okay, I know I'm not perfect, and I know sometimes I don't listen, and I'm sorry about that, so here I am ready to listen.
Callie: Oh, ready to listen.
Arizona: Like a priest at confession.
Callie (smiling): You wanna hear what I'm saying and really take it in? And try to give me what I want?
Arizona: Yeah, I- I really do. (smiles)
Callie (smile fades): Get your crap out of my apartment.
Lexie: Okay, what is that about? (looking over at Alex teaching his med student, Loral)
Jackson: Come on, can you blame him? She's hot.
April: Don't be a pig. He's being gross, not to mention unprofessional.
Meredith (pointing out Loral's thong): Well, the thong is unprofessional.
April: Unprofessional! What is wrong with them? I was never that dumb when I was in med school.
Cristina: They're weak and gutless.
Meredith: Boy crazy.
Lexie: Wow, you all sound really old.
Cristina: No plus sign yet?
Meredith: No. And I'm so tired of peeing on sticks. It's exhausting.
Cristina: Okay, you think peeing is exhausting. Wait 'til you have a muling, poo covered infant hanging off of your boobs 24-7.
Meredith: Why is my baby gonna be poo covered?
Richard: Mrs. Burton? Mrs. Henry Burton? (Teddy finally turns to look at him) Your husband requested I talk to you about his upcoming operation. We would like to remove the kidney.
Teddy: Well, a man can live without a kidney. If that's your recommendation.
Richard: Funny because that's exactly what I would recommend. But apparently my recommendation as chief of surgery with over 30 years of general surgery experience under my belt, isn't enough. He would like your recommendation, the recommendation of a cardio surgeon who happens to be his wife.
Teddy: I see. (looks at the scans) Yeah, I agree with your recommendation. Here you go.
Richard (starts to walk off, but turns back): This is a totally inappropriate relationship. Totally inappropraite!
Teddy: You wanna talk to me about inappropriate relationships? Every where I look in this hospital there's inappropriate relationships. Grey and Shepherd, Hunt and Yang, the other Grey and Sloan.
Eli: Dr. Bailey's dating a nurse. And taking full advantage.
Bailey: I- (scoffs) ignore him! We... are not dating.
Arizona: Mark, I know what the research says. So, there's a chance of some donor graft complications.
Mark: Complications? No. (to med student) You come here. (turns the med student, so he's facing away, Mark draws on his head) We do your procedure, we insise, here and here. (makes marks on the med student's head) Stand still. There's risk of hitting the brain, causeing a hematoma, but we take the cadavar route, we avoid that completely, which means all of this (draws more marks on the student's head) doesn't even get touched.
Arizona: She's a child and as the lead doctor on this case, let me be clear. We're doing the surgery as planned.
Mark: You're a crappy listener, add that to the list.
Mark: I'm just sayin', there's more wrong with 'ya than the fact that you smoke. (Arizona leaves, to the med student) I probably shouldn't have used permnant marker, my apologies.
Fred: Is that the tumor?
Cristina: That's the gall bladder.
Fred: Wait, really?
Cristina: Cross my heart, hope to die.
Richard: The image is reversed on an MRI. It's confusing at first. I'm sure Dr. Yang can remember seeing her first MRI and empathize. Empathy is a good quality for a chief resident, don't you think, Dr. Bailey?
Bailey: Oh, I do, sir.
Cristina: ... This is from the feet looking up so, (pointing) that's the kidney, that's the adrenal gland, and that's the tumor.
Teddy: Hey, sorry I'm late. Here are the forms. You are officially insured.
Henry: Amazing. And I have nothing to give you in return. Wait, are you hungry? You want a fruit cup?
Teddy: Henry, you needed insurance and I was happy to give it.
Henry: Come on, take the fruit cup.
Teddy: Fine. I'm starving. (eats some) That's disgusting.
Henry: Yeah, I wouldn't eat it if I were dying. (Teddy laughs)
Arizona: I mean, I get it. She's got a hang-up about me being perfect. You know, everything comes easy for me, and I don't have any flaws. And now that I've clearly made a mistake, she's just gonna pound the crap out of it.
Mark (laughs): So, you don't think you're perfect.
Arizona: No! I have lots of flaws. I'm competitive, I'm a workholic, I smoke when I'm stressed, it's disgusting.
Mark: I'm sure she'd love to hear all of those, along with any other real faults you can come up with.
Richard: You married a patient to give him insurance? Have you lost your mind? Insurance fraud is a serious offense.
Lexie: Actually, according to the National Medical Anti-Fraud Assocation it's not insurance fraud. It's just frowned upon.
Richard: It's highly unethical, you're a doctor for christ sakes!
Lexie: The medical community is faily split on this: Is it more unethical to deny a patient life-saving care? Or to marry a patient and give him that care? It can get murky.
Richard: Don't you have some where to be, Dr. Grey?
Lexie: I'm on Dr. Altman's service today.
Richard: We are doctors, we save people's lives every day without marrying them. You marry someone you love.
Teddy: Well, I love him. I do. I mean, I love him, sooooo much.
Richard: Dr. Altman, this isn't a joke.
Teddy: I apperciate your concern, Chief. But it's done, he has insurance, you're his doctor and now you can save his life. (Richard glares at her, then walks off)
Lexie: Please don't tell the chief I said this, but I think what you did was awesome.
Owen: Dr. Torres.
Callie (aggravated): What?!
Callie: Well, you said my name.
Owen: Just as a good morning type thing.
Callie: Where's the stupid meat wagon?
Jackson (walks up to them): Morning, Dr. Hunt. Dr. T...
Henry: I feel like I already know you, Dr. Bailey. Eli here has been telling me all about you.
Eli: Don't worry, I didn't tell him everything.
Bailey (flustered): Oh, hey! I- I did not know that you were on this case.
Eli: Sure, you didn't.
Fred: Henry Burton has von hippel-lindau disease and a viahypo sarcoma, it's extremely rare, causes blood pressure to sky-rocket and it's treated with alpha blockers.
Cristina: Oh, look at that, he reads.
Fred: Sorry, should I...
Cristina: Med students are like children at the dinner table to be seen and not heard.
Meredith: Okay, we are with Shepherd today. He's neuro.
Keira: Is he nice?
Meredith: Uh, he's my husband so I have to say he's nice. But he's also a damn good surgeon.
Keira: Oh, thank god. I'm just glad you're not one of thoose obessed with my job but cold and dead inside surgeons.
Meredith: Uh, we have rounds.
Meredith: Uh, the race for chief resident is on?
Alex: Since when?
April: Uh, how long have you been evaluating us?
Richard: Since your first day here.
Cristina: First year med students. Too dumb to find the toilet. (Mer laughs)
Richard: Good morning. Behind me stand the interns and residents of tomorrow. Today you will show them what it's like to a surgeon. When you go into surgery, they go into surgery. When they have a question, you will answer.
Cristina (whispers): It's like court ordered community service.
Meredith (whispers): I'd rather be picking up trash off the side of the highway.
Cristina: Try again. It could be a false negative. It could be too early. What is it? Day ten?
Cristina: Yeah, totally early. Pee on a bunch of different sticks. Don't let the one stick win.
Meredith: Well, it's a scienctific test, I hardly think I can bend it to my will.
Cristina: I'm doing three surgeries today. Did four yesterday. I'm unstoppable and you got defeated by a piece of plastic covered in urine. Buck up.
Callie (walking out of Mark's to see a bunch of boxes in front of her old apartment): What the hell?
Arizona (walks out of Callie's apartment): Ah, good morning!
Callie: What are you doing here?
Arizona: I bought out our subletters, I'm moving back in. (smiles) Hooray!
Callie: Okay, they weren't your subletters, they were my subletters.
Arizona: Well, now I'm your subletter. Hooray?
Callie: My lack of interest in seeing you is not a strategy. I'm not playing hard to get. I don't want to see you because I turned my life upside down for you and you walked away because for a week I was cranky. You're untrustworthy, so I don't want to see you. You're self-centered, so I don't want to see you. I am a hundred percent certain that if I let you back in my life again you will hurt me again, so I don't want to see you. This isn't a ploy. I'm- I'm not pouting. I don't want you in my life! Get your crap out of my apartment. (walks off)
Arizona: It's good that she's mad. It means she cares, right? (Mark gives her a look)
Meredith (after the pregnancy test is negative): Well, I am going to get ready for work.
Derek: Next time.
Meredith: It's not gonna work, baby doesn't wanna set up shop in a hostile uterus.
Derek: No, it's gonna happen, we'll just have to... keep doing it until we get it right, right?
Meredith (opening voiceover): People are really romantic about the beginnings of things. Fresh start, clean slate, a world of possibility. But no matter what new adventure you're embarking on, you're still you. You bring you into every new beginning in your life. So how different can it possibly be?
Meredith (closing voiceover): It's all anybody wants, right? Clean slate. A new beginning. Like that's gonna be any easier. Ask the guy pushing the boulder up the hill. Nothing's easy about starting over. Nothing at all.
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Nepopsaná tabule (Blank Board)
Music Featured In This Episode:
1.Cry Baby by Cee Lo Green
2.Under Rays by Eux Autres
3.Harder Than Easy by Jack Savoretti
4.England by The National
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: January 13, 2011 on CTV
United Kingdom: March 23, 2011 on Sky Living
Sweden: March 23, 2011 on Kanal 5
Australia: April 28, 2011 on Channel 7
Germany: June 8, 2011 on ProSieben
Norway: September 27, 2011 on TV2
Czech Republic: February 20, 2012 on Prima LOVE
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