Dr. Meredith Grey
Dr. Cristina Yang
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens
Dr. Alex Karev
Dr. Miranda Bailey
Dr. Richard Webber
Dr. Teddy Altman
Dr. Charles Percy
Dr. April Kepner
Teddy: I helped my patient die today.
Mark: You wanna talk about it?
Teddy: No. (kisses him)
Callie: This is really hard for me to say, 'cause I really care about you and...
Arizona: Oh my God, you're breaking up with me. Mark? I-is-is it Mark? Are you sleeping with Mark again? Are you one of those fake lesbians just-- just having a va-vaction is lesbian land?
Callie: No. Stop. God, it's not bad. This thing I have to tell you isn't bad. Um... I just... I wanna have a baby. At some point in my life. That's all. I really... I have to have a baby.
Derek: I'm sorry. I know that you're mad at me.
Meredith: I'm not mad. I'm in Whoville.
Meredith: Whoville. (laughs)
Richard: You were jealous of her today.
Derek: I'm sorry?
Richard: Meredith. That's why you stole her surgery. You miss the pace of back-to-back surgeries, the adrenaline.
Derek: Yeah, I do.
Richard: Schedule yourself one surgery a day. In the morning, an hour before everyone else. So at the very least, you start your day off good, you start your day cutting. You don't actually have to sign all the paperwork. Patricia's an excellent forger. And if you eat alone in the cafeteria, you are a sitting duck. So you need to eat with someone else. That way, people are more likely to leave you alone. You can eat with me.
Derek: Thank you.
Sean: Dr. Hunt? The pharmacy wouldn't take my insurance card. There was some problem, so I had to go to a cash machine. And uh... I'm runnin' around and I'm trying to get the cash to buy the pills that are gonna kill my wife. ... Anyway, (holds the bottle) here they are.
Owen: There will be a moment... when she dies her face will relax... and all that pain she was in will be gone. And you will feel relief. Relief for her, relief for you. You will know with absolute certainty that you did the right thing. You have to hold onto that moment because all the rest of it is just your own garbage.
Dan: Make sure Lisa gets my ring, okay?
Owen: Don't give up, Dan.
Dan: Don't use it to propose to Altman or somethin'. (they laugh) But you should propose to Altman. You know, you two... You should. You should.
Owen: Shut up, Dan. I'm engaged to Beth. And you, you're gonna give that ring to Lisa, okay?
Jackson: I heard Shepherd stole your surgery.
Meredith: How'd you hear that?
Jackson: Apparentally you yell really loud.
Meredith: Well, I have to hold a retractor for Shadow Shepherd while Derek debulks my tumor. So yes, I yell very loud.
Jackson: Yeah, well the key is to think of yourself as one of the Whos down in Whoville.
Jackson: You know, when the Grinch came down and stole all their presents, they didn't let that ruin Christmas for them. Now, instead they came out and Christmas morning, and they sang. You're gonna go into that surgery and you're gonna sing. (Mer laughs) Sing, Cindy Lou, sing.
Mark: You missed it. Altman tore Hunt a new one in the cafeteria. The whole hospital's talking about it.
Richard: Not me. I walk into a room, and all the conversation grinds to a hault.
Mark: Oh, come on. You don't talk locker-room talk in front of the coach.
Richard: I'm not the coach anymore. I'm a player, I take a shower like everybody else.
Mark: Richard. You're a little bit like everybody else, but mostly, you're still the coach. It's a sign of respect. You'd be wrong to take it any other way.
Arizona: My lunch is making me sad, and I haven't started eating it yet.
Mark: Say something.
Arizona: I was gonna go for lasagna. I don't know why I didn't pull the trigger.
Mark: Say it.
Callie: Shut up!
Arizona: Say what?
Callie: Nothing. (Richard stops by and then walks off)
Mark: If you don't say it then you're gonna regret it for a long, long time...
Richard: Have you had lunch yet today? I'm headed down.
Derek: Oh, I can't eat in the cafeteria anymore. Vultures won't leave me alone.
Derek: People needs things from me. Seems like everybody has a pressing problem that can't wait.
Meredith: You stole my surgery, right out from under me.
Derek: It wasn't your surgery. It was Nelson's surgery.
April: It's beyond Nelson's kill level... Right? I mean, that's what you said.
Meredith: My diagnosis, my tumor, my debulking. Can I scrub in at least?
Derek: You're on Nelson's service. If I switch you, it's gonna look like favoritism.
April: Dr. Nelson's been given an aneurysm
Meredith: You stop talking!
Derek: Meredith, calm down. Calm down. People are starting to stare.
Meredith: You stole my surgery. (to everyone) He stole my surgery!
April: Dr. Shepherd has requested these scans. His schedule has freed up. He's decided to do the resection himself.
Meredith (grabs the scans): Oh, no! That's my... I am debulking! It's my tumor!
April: It's Dr. Shepherd's tumor now.
Mark: Three days, no sex. Just talking. Do you have any idea how much you can learn about someone if you just remain upright? Like I bet you didn't know, Teddy hates the word 'moist'. Hates it. Would really prefer people say 'damp'. You hear me? I'm growing again. I'm like, grown.
Arizona: She's making cartlidge from stracth. She's a little preoccupied these days. It's super hot. I'm gonna be late. Bye. (kisses Callie and leaves)
Callie: She doesn't want kids. Arizona doesn't want kids. In her womb, in her house. Ever! She told me.
Mark: What'd you say?
Callie: Nothing. We're doing so great. I don't wanna ruin it by being the crazy desperate girl with the aching womb.
Mark: Better than being the crazy childless woman who sits at the playground watching the children play. They have laws for people like that. You gotta tell her.
Owen (closing voiceover): Living is better than dying... until it's not. But even if letting a person die is the right thing to do, it's not what surgeons are built for. We are arrogant and competitive. We don't like to lose and death feels like a lost even when we know it's not. We know it's time. We know it's right. We know we did everything we could. It is hard to shake that feeling that you could of done more.
Owen (opening voiceover): Dying isn't easy. The body was design to stay alive; thick skull, strong heart, keen senses. When the body starts to fail, medicine takes over. Surgeons are arrogant enough to think there's no one they can't save. Like I said dying isn't easy.
Richard: If I wasn't happily married, I'd hit her, I'd hit her hard.
Alex: Sir, what you I think you wanted to say is 'hit that'.
Bailey: I don't think you wanted to say that at all.
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Sebevražda nebolí (Suicide Does not Hurt)
Music Featured In This Episode:
1."Holding Out for Love" by Ashtar Command
2."Hold On" by Angus and Julia Stone
3."Static Waves" by Andrew Belle
4."Draw Your Swords" by Angus and Julia Stone
5."Heaven (feat. Natalie Merchant)" by Brett Dennen
6."Abandon Ship" by Sorry Kisses
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: March 25, 2010 on CTV
Latin America: April 5, 2010 on Sony Entertainment Television (a.k.a. Canal Sony)
Sweden: May 5, 2010 on Kanal 5
Australia: May 18, 2010 on Channel 7
United Kingdom: May 27, 2010 on Living TV
Germany: September 1, 2010 on ProSieben
Norway: December 7, 2010 on TV2 Bliss
Czech Republic: October 17, 2011 on Prima LOVE
Title: Suicide is Painless
The title of this episode is a reference to the theme song "Suicide is Painless" from the 1960s war film (and later television show) MASH.
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