Grey's Anatomy

Alex: Oh, come on, April. Just admit it. You're still a virgin. April: No, I'm not. Jackson: There's no shame in it. April: Really? Jackson: No, there's shame. Alex: A lot of shame, tell her, Mer. Meredith: I um... (Jackson laughs) I was gonna say something then I forgot to stop drinking. Has anybody seen Cristina? Lexie (sits down): Okay, so today only one person looked at me like a psycho who might run down the hall naked and Dr. Bailey screamed like a little bitch baby over a spider, so I'm feeling pretty good, you know? For a crazy person. Jackson: Well, no one gives a crap if you're crazy. We're all crazy. Alex: Yeah, look at April. She's still a virgin. (they all laugh) Lexie: Mark gives a crap, okay? He stares at me like I'm a menace to myself and everyone around me. Wait, you're still a virgin? (laughs) April: Stop, okay? Just stop. I'm a virgin. Yes. So what? It's not something I talk about, okay? We all have things we don't talk about. Alex, you've been afraid of the elevator for, like, a month, but I never said anything because it's none of my business. And, Jackson, you wake up every night screaming because you have nightmares. And, Meredith, you don't talk about Cristina because you're afraid she's never gonna be the same Cristina again. And, Lexie... for God sake, Mark never thought you were a psycho. He loves you. That's why he stares at you, because he can't keep his eyes off the woman he loves. Of course, he's never gonna say anything 'cause he doesn't feel like he can. Look, we all have stuff we don't talk about. I am a 28-year-old virgin, mainly because I wanted my first time to be special, and then I waited too long, and partially because I'm pretty sure guys find me annoying. I'm a virgin. That doesn't make it drinks conversation. We all have stuff we don't talk about. Meredith Oh, April. I'm liking you more and more. April: Thank you.

Perkins: Hey, you gonna have dinner with me? Teddy: I think that we should just settle for a peck on the cheek and a wave goodbye and keep it simple. Perkins: Yeah, that sounds incredibly disatisfying. Teddy (sighs): I like you more than I wanted to. And I knew what this was... I don't know what my problem is. Perkins: I got a couple of thoughts about that. Teddy: I thought that I was the one person you weren't gonna analyze. Perkins: Well, I'm not entirely sure that it requires a professional. I mean, other I'm wildly attractive and your formitable reason is no match for my incredible magnitism. Or... You uh, fall for men who aren't available... Engaged, or only in town for a few weeks. (Teddy cries) You make some lousy choices, Altman. You deserve a little more.

Arizona: I can't believe that you keep brandy in your locker. Bailey: A patient gave it to me. Callie: Now, you're just gonna take a swig every time you see a spider? Bailey: Every time I see a spider crawl out of a human limb? Yes. (they laugh) And it is a phobia, it is not... Give me back my bottle. Callie: Uh, Teddy needs it. She's pathetic. Teddy: That's right. Bailey: Hey, you finish it, I'll hurt you. Arizona: We're gonna live in a frat house forever, aren't we? Callie: Hey, Meredith's is a frat house. Our place is just that off-campus apartment where the burn-outs go to buy pot. Bailey (to Teddy): Did you tell him good-bye? Teddy: I've kinda been avoiding him. I'm afraid that if I see him, I'll start to cry and then he'll think I'm some sort of crazy stalker.

Amelia: Don't worry. I'm leaving the premises. Derek: We were in the back of the store. Dad had just given you two pennies and you always hid them behind the counter in this big crack in the floor boards. You said you were saving them so you can buy a town. And then the two guys came in, we could hear them talking but you weren't paying attention until dad yelled and you looked up. They had already pulled a gun, they had already taken the money, and now they wanted the watch that mom gave him and he wouldn't give it up. There was a gunshot, you lunged foward... Amelia: I remember, I was trying to get to him but... I couldn't move. Derek: That's because I was holding you so tight that you couldn't budge. ... I put one hand over your mouth so you couldn't scream and wrapped the other one around you and just held on for dear life. I prayed to god that you'd be quiet and wouldn't say anything. You were so little. I think that was what I wanted all these years is for you just to stay... little, quiet and safe. But you're not any of those things. You're loud and fearless and it scares the crap out of me. (they share a smile) How am I supposed to call you up and tell you that I've been shot? I can't tell you about my pain. ... I don't want you to know that pain exists. (they hug)

(They are in the morgue, trying to recreate the procedure Cristina did on Derek) Derek: Now, you opened me up. Where did you make the incision? Cristina: I don't know. Derek: Yes, you do. Cristina: When I say that I don't know, I'm not making it up. I literally don't remember. Derek: Okay, well, fortunaly I have some details. (unbuttons his shirt, revealing his scar) You started here at the sternal notch and went south six inches. (holds out the scalpel) Cristina: Okay, this is stupid. Derek: No, it's not. What's the worst that could happen? You kill him? Cristina: Oh, ha ha. Funny. Derek: Take the scalpel. (holds out the scalpel, she takes it)

Richard: Karev. Alex: Yes, sir? Richard: You layed in a pool of your own blood in that elevator and almost died. That's why you're taking the stairs. Now, some day you're gonna have a critical patient and you won't be able to run up the stairs. So, now you and I are gonna take that elevator right now, together and you're gonna stay on it 'til you're not scared. You're just bored.

Derek: I wouldn't have picked you, to be a part of my life. Professional, sure. If you didn't think my field was so uninteresting. But, personally, we wouldn't have picked each other. But, now, we're family and that means that I worry about you. (Cristina continues to play solitare, ignore him, he smacks the table) You're flaming out and as someone who cares about you, it's not okay. As someone who's seen a lot of residents come and go but very, very few with your potential, it is not okay. Cristina: I can barely remember it. The whole procedure... I took a bullet out of your chest and all I can remember are... bits a pieces. And bits and pieces I do remember, come back at very inconvient times. So, um, end of story.

Richard: What happened to you, Karev? Alex: Ah, patient wasn't critical so I took the stairs. Richard: Y-You do that all day? Alex: Yeah, it's good exercise. What's the big deal? Richard: Well, the big deal is your sweaty and you smell. And you're not going into my OR. What the hell's the matter with you today? Alex: Nothing. I-I... Richard: Karev, you stink. Now go take a shower.

Derek: There's a gallery upstairs. Have a seat, you can watch. Amelia: Okay, you know what, smart boy, you can pretend like we aren't related but we are. And something happened to you. Derek: What is it that you want for me, Amy? Amelia: Okay, can you imagine for a second that this is not all about you? Two men in my family have been shot, one of them didn't survive it and even that I can't talk about because I was five and I barely remember it. Derek: Don't make this about dad. Amelia: No, we can't make it about anything! You won't talk about dad, you won't talk about this! Derek: I'm sorry this is hard for you. It's been hard for a lot of people. Now, I have an operation I have to go do, go home.

Jackson: Karev, how old were you your first time? Alex: Fifteen. School nurse, back of her car. Jackson: Fifteen, that's impressive. Alex: When I was sixteen she taught me how to drive that same car. Meredith: Sophomore in high school, Paul Waxman. Had absolutley no idea what she was doing. Jackson: Junior prom. Sarah Richardson and Penny Carriway. Together. I knew exactly what I was doin'. Cristina: Nineteen. Alex: Nineteen? Cristina: Mmhmm. I was very focused on my stuides, he was my chem T.A, he was a whole head shorter than me and he was smart. Jackson: Hey, April. April: I'm not talking about this. It was a private, private memory. (they all laugh) Alex: What happen? The guy die? Meredith: Alex. Cristina: Did it last like three seconds so you don't know if it counted? April: No. ... It was on the beach at sunset, it was beautiful. (Mer laughs) Jackson: Sunset? Really? Weren't there people there? Cristina: All on the beach, getting sand up in places you don't want sand? Jackson: Mosquitos. (April stammers) Alex: Ha! You're a virgin. April: No, I'm not. Alex: She is. Cristina: Oh my God, you are! Oh my God, Alex. Do it. Go deflower her. (they are all laughing) April: It was on the beach at sunset, okay? Meredith: Okay. Leave her alone. April, the beach at sunset is very nice.

Owen: Hey, my wife is sleeping in your bed. Derek: Yes, she is. With Meredith, she's sleeping with Meredith. I'm on the other side of the bed. Owen: I'm sorry, don't you find that a little strange? Derek: Mmhmm. Did you see E.T? Owen: The movie? Yeah, years ago. Why? Derek: Remember Elliot? He and E.T have this weird and disturbing bond. If he got sick, E.T got sick, if E.T got drunk, Elliot got drunk. That's kinda like Cristina and Meredith. Meanwhile, you and I are like the government guys in the white hazmat suits, you know, we're trying to steer 'em in the right direction, but in the end, we just don't understand. Owen: You're okay with that? Derek: I fish. I'm building a house. I recently taken up golf, it helps. I'm lookin' out for her. Owen: Thank you.

Alex: A condom? Meredith: Yep. Cristina: And she aspirated it? Jackson: A condom in her lung? And she aspirated it? I'm gonna gag. Meredith: And her fiancee thinks she's a virgin so... Jackson: Okay, here we go, here we go. Check it out. (they all look into the room of tree man) Alex: Okay, now I think I'm gonna gag. Cristina (about Lexie who's working on the tree man): Oh, look at Grey, it looks like she's gonna heave. Jackson: She's looked like that all day. Meredith: I mean, I kinda wish I was in there. Cristina: What? Meredith: Seriously, how often does a case like this come along? Cristina: True. Alex: About as often as 27 year old virgin brides. April: She could still be a virgin, just because she's 27, I mean, it's not impossible.

Teddy: A virgin? At 27? Meredith: Yep. April: Well, maybe she was waiting for the right person to come along. Someone special, someone who really got her. It's sweet. It's idyllistic. Teddy: It's smart is what it is. You don't sleep with 'em, you don't get attached, you sleep with 'em and then you get attached even when you don't want to. Even when you specfically pick someone that you are sure you couldn't possibly get attached to, and then boom! You're hooked!

Callie: Oh hey, can you talk to Cristina about getting her own place? Arizona is about to move in and it's kinda crowded. I mean, they wanna move out, it's just, they haven't got their act together. And if I ask her about I'm a bitch, but if you ask her about it, you're her best friend inquiring about a healthy next step in her married life. Meredith: Cristina's career is hanging by a thread, she can't look at an O.R. without breaking into a cold sweat, she's a newlywed. And last night she slept in my bed because Owen was in surgery and she's afraid to be alone. You really wanna put her out of her house? (walks off) Arizona (walks up): Did you talk to her about Cristina? Callie: We're monsters.

Owen: You paged me is everything alright? Cristina: I have to get away from Shepherd for like three minutes, he's like the KGB, he's everywhere. Owen: He's tryin' to help. Cristina: Yeah, well, make him stop. ... Would you love me if I wasn't a surgeon? Owen: I would love you if you were a plumber. But would you love you if you weren't a surgeon? Cristina: I don't know. Maybe. ... I can't sleep when you're not there. Owen: Then I'll be there.

Amelia: Do you think it's bad if I write my own name on your board? I mean, I did bring in the patient and they gave me privildges. Meredith (writes Amelia's name on the OR board): Shepherd and Shepherd. Classic. Derek (walks up): What's going on? (sees Amelia's name on the board) You think I'm gonna let you do to him what you did to my Mustang? I don't think so. (erases Amelia's name and she walks off) Meredith: She's your sister, I... You're being like this because she crashed your car a couple of years ago? I totaled my mom's car, people make mistakes. Derek: Right. When you totaled your mom's car, were you high on pain pills? Meredith: No. Derek: Did you steal your brother's prescription pad so you could feed your addiction? Meredith: She stole your prescription pad? Derek: Yeah, and then when she got home, she OD'd. She was dead for 3 minutes, I saved her. That's what she put my mother through after losing my father and raising five kids on her own. So, no I don't trust her in my OR, okay?

Derek: Dr. Yang, what's the best approach on a tumor like this? Cristina: I don't know. Derek: It's a pituitary tumor so your axis would be coming in from... (Cristina is silent) Amelia: You go in transnasaly. Can we book an OR? Derek: What's the chance of me finishing a thought today? Amelia: Not great. Uh, there's some compression so I'd like to get in sooner than later. Derek: Dr. Yang, can you book an OR, please? You'll be scrubbing in. Cristina: You know, if she wants to do it... Derek: Dr. Yang, book an OR. (Cristina leaves) Amelia: Okay, that's my patient in there. You're gonna let what's-her-name with the learning disablity scrub in? Why don't you just shoot the guy? Derek: Don't talk about shooting people in this building. Don't critize my surgeons. Leave your patient, go home.

Amelia: Did it hurt? Derek: Getting shot? Oh, you're amazing. Amelia: Did you feel the bullet or did you just feel pain? Derek: I feel pain now because you won't stop talking.

Callie: Look away. Mark: What? Callie: Stop staring at her. Mark: I can't. Callie (grabs his face and turns it so he's looking at her and not Lexie): Her last words to you were 'leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone.' Only louder. Look away. Mark: Maybe she just needs a little more time. (Callie gives him a look) I'll try to look away. Callie: Thank you.

Meredith (to April): I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. There's a few things I don't talk about and Cristina's one of them.

Lexie: I am so, so, sorry. Bailey: You will apologize to him. Lexie: Profusely. Bailey: And you will stay by his side all day. Lexie: Yes. Bailey: Even during lunch. Lexie: I don't think I'll be wanting lunch. (Bailey gives her a look) Yes, yes I will. Bailey: Fine. Go get Dr. Sloan.

April: Is Dr. Webber going up? I need an extra set of hands. Meredith: He sent me. April: Oh, I thought you were on Dr. Shepherd's service? Meredith: He took Cristina? April (laughs): Why? (gets serious) I mean, why? You don't think she's okay, do you? 'Cause I don't. I mean, she was in the house this morning. Did she spend the night? 'Cause she's married. That's a little weird for someone to... Meredith: April. Don't talk about Cristina. Just mind your own business. April: I'm sorry. I-I was just concerned. But I will try not to be.

Derek: Oh, come on, Amy. Amelia: Well, if you'd pick up the damn phone I wouldn't have to stalk you. Mark: Yeah, why don't you call your sister? Meredith: Sister? Derek: Meredith, Cristina. This is Amy. Amelia: Amelia. He's the only one who gets to call me Amy. Uh, nice to finally meet you! (shakes Mer's hand) Meredith: Likewise. Mark: Amy... Amelia is also a neurosurgeon. Cristina: Another one? The Shepherd's grow them like weeds.

Amelia (about Todd): We met on the plane he has a probable pituitary tumor. Derek: Did she say you had spongey hands? Todd: Yeah. Derek: Yeah, were your hands on her breasts at the time? (Todd nods) So, this was a mile-high hook up. Amelia: That doesn't change the fact that he's a very sick man. Meredith: If he has symptoms, it could be a tumor. Amelia: Not just could. It is. Derek (about Cristina): Alright, well, this fine lady will find you a surgeon. (Cristina makes a face) Meredith: Derek, she's your sister. You can buy her a cup of coffee. Derek: I have a lot of sisters. If I bought them all coffee we wouldn't have anything. Meredith: Derek. Derek (to Cristina): Alright, Todd needs a work-up will you take care of it? Meredith: I can do it. Derek: Yang's on my service. Why don't you just go have a good day with Amy, okay? She's a laugh a minute.

Cristina: Meredith is a much better doctor than me. Derek: No, she's not. Meredith: I am, too. Sorry, Cristina. Cristina: Ah, no offense taken. She is. Derek: I'll take my chances. Cristina: How about we comprimise? How about you page me when you got something? Derek: I got something.

Arizona: Talk to Cristina. Callie: She's in the middle of a nervous breakdown. I can't push her. Arizona: In two weeks, my landlord is gonna hand keys to a Swedish couple with a truck load of Swedish furinature and I said I'd be gone. Callie: Teddy can you mention it to Owen, like casually? Like 'Hey, how's the apartment search going? No pressure. But Callie and Arizona have a life. You're crowding them and Arizona can't handle it.' (Teddy turns and they see she's upset) Arizona: Oh my God, Teddy are you okay? Teddy: Um, Andrew's leaving. Callie: Oh, no. Oh, you didn't. (to Arizona) She got attached. Arizona: Oh, no. Oh, no, no. You were supposed to be smart and cool and G.I Jane. Teddy: I know. I know that. But instead I got attached to the trauma guy who swoops in and swoops out a month later. I'm such an idiot. I'm not G.I Jane. I'm attachment Barbie! Arizona: Oh, you poor thing. Come here. (hugs Teddy) You know what will make you feel better? Teddy: What? Arizona: Telling Owen to get off his ass and get his traumatized wife out of our apartment. (Teddy laughs)

Amelia: Hey, where can I find Dr. Shepherd? Nurse: You have an appointment? Amelia: Uh, I don't. Could you just point me in the direction of his office? Nurse: I'm sorry. Mark (walks up): She has that look on her face because the last time someone walked into this hospital looking for Dr. Shepherd without an appointment, shot him. Amelia: Mark! (they hug, and laugh) Mark: Hi, Amy! Amelia: Oh my God. You still look hot. Mark: And you look a lot more grown up then when I last saw 'ya. Amelia: You can say hot, you know. 'Cause I am. I'm hot. Mark: No, I can't. Because in my mind, you're still Derek's tweleve year old sister. So, what're you doing in Seattle? Amelia: Uh, Derek's an ass who won't return my calls. Derek's an ass who got shot and won't return my calls. So, I brought him a presant, or a bribe, or a peace offering, whatever. I brought him that. (motions to the older guy standing over by the door) Mark: You brought him Brett Farve? Amelia: No. I brought him a brain tumor.

Meredith (listening to all the attendings in the meeting room): I think they're talking about you. It's going to be okay. They can't kick you out of the program for being traumatized. Cristina: I don't care what they do. Derek (walks out of the room): Dr. Yang you're with me. Cristina: What? No. Meredith: I'm with you. Derek: You have someone else. We're walking Dr. Yang.

Derek: What about Cristina Yang? What's the timeline there? Richard: Dr. Perkins felt that we should assign Dr. Yang to something low stress work for a few months: Research, admin duties. Derek: Adminstration? That's the best you can do? Put her on my service. Richard: She's not on anyone's service, Derek. She'll be in the hospital, she just won't go near a surgery. Derek: Well, you do that and she'll leave. She will not come back to this program. Put her on my service. Owen: I already tried it, Shepherd. Callie: Hunt's right. She's not ready. Bailey: Well, she wasn't ready before, maybe now she is. Mark: I think we should give it a shot. Arizona: Especially if nothing else is working. Perkins: She crawled under a table in the OR two weeks ago. Callie: Thank you. (they all start talking over each other) Derek: She goes, I go. Richard: That's insane. (they all start talking over each other again) Derek: She goes, I go!

Meredith (closing voiceover): Nobody chooses to be a freak. Most people don't even realize they're a freak until it's way too late to change it. No matter how much of a freak we end up being, chances are there's still someone out there for you. unless they've already moved on, because when it comes to love even freaks cant wait forever.

Meredith (opening voiceover): Most surgeons grew up as freaks. While other kids played outside, we hold up in our rooms memorizing our periodic table, hovering for hours over our junior microscopes, dissecting our first frogs. Imagine how surprised and relieved we were when we grew up and found out there were others out there, just as freaky as we were. Same microscopes, same dead frogs, same inspecliable urge to take human begins apart.