Grey's Anatomy Season 1 Episode 2

Meredith (about Derek's rape victim patient): How is she?
Derek: No change.
Meredith: Have you been here all night?
Derek: Mm-hmm. (pauses) You know, I have four sisters. Very girly. Tons of kids. If I were in a coma, they'd all be here. I'd want them here. But to have no one... I can't imagine that.
Meredith: I can.

Burke: Shepherd, you should know that Richard promised Chief to both of us. (Derek just smiles slightly. Burke slightly huffs) But you knew that already?
Derek: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
Burke: You're not the enemy. You're just the competition.

(George, Izzie & Cristina are there looking at the babies as well)
Meredith: Okay, fine. George and Izzie you can move into the house.
George: Yes. Yes!
Izzie: I can't believe she caved.
George: Thank you.
Meredith (to Cristina): I can't believe I caved.
Cristina: I blame the babies. They make you toxic.

George: Lost 5 patients on the code team today. I feel like the Angel of Death.
Cristina: George, 95% of all code patients can't be revived. Most of them are seriously dead before you get there.
George: What? Why didn't you tell me that when I was going on and on about how great it was going to be?
Cristina: 'Cause you're George and I'm Cristina.

Meredith: So the police say they can't send the crap crime scene guy down for hours. So I have to spend the night with the penis. (Alex smirks and is about to say something) Alex... Don't say it.
Alex: Aw, it was too easy anyway.

Cristina: Why do I have to be the one that gets hugged?
Alex: Because I don't do that. Besides you're the ovarian sister here.
Cristina: Did you just call me an ovarian sis... (Alex nods and walks off) ... an ovarian sis? Since when does a possession of ovaries become an insult?
George: Meredith is carrying a penis around in a jar.
Cristina: Oh from the rape surgery? (Cristina peeks inside the cooler)
Meredith: Yeah. And it's not a jar, it's a cooler.
Cristina: Talk about taking a bite out of crime.

George: Do you know what the code team does? Saves lives. I shock a heart and someone lives to see another day. That's upbeat. It's, ah, glass half full.
Cristina: Bambi, don't say another word until after the hunter shoots your mother.
George: I don't like you.
Cristina: I have a BA from Smith, a pHD from Berkeley and a MD from Stanford and I'm delivering lab results. It'll take me all day to get through these.

Meredith (opening voiceover): It's all about lines. The finish line at the end of residency, waiting in line for a chance at the operating table, and then there's the most important line, the line separating you from the people you work with. It doesn't help to get too familiar to make friends. You need boundaries, between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It's all about lines. Drawing lines in the sand and praying like hell no one crosses them.

(Meredith is walking towards the elevator, where Derek is standing. She stops in front of him)
Derek: So... it's intense... this thing I have... for, uh... ferry boats, I mean.
Meredith: I am so taking the stairs this time. (she continues walking)
Derek: No self control. It's sad. Really. (he nods and gets into the elevator)

Cristina: What are you doing down here?
Meredith: Just sitting here with my penis. What about you?
Cristina: Hiding from Alex.
Meredith: I kissed Derek.
Cristina: You kissed Derek?
Meredith: In the elevator.
Cristina: Oh, you kissed him in the elevator?
Meredith: I was having a bad day. I am having a bad day.
Cristina: So what you do on your bad days, make out with Dr. McDreamy?
Meredith: Well, you know that and carrying around a penis just makes everything seem so shiny and happy.

Peds Intern: Are you? ... I mean being an intern do you feel...
Meredith: ...terrified? One hundred percent of the time.
Peds Intern: Good. It's not just me.

Cristina: I need a drink, a man or a massage. Or a drunken massage by a man.

Burke: Chief! So you asked Shepherd to come to Grace.
Richard: He's an old student of mine.
Burke (sarcastic): Ah, well he left ol' Manhattan and a private practice because you asked?
Richard (stops walking): Yes.
Burke: No other reason? Just a favor for an old professor?
Richard: It'll be years before I retire.
Burke (stiff): Chief of Surgery is mine. Chief of Surgery is mine.
Richard: It was yours. Now I'm not so sure.
Burke (angry): No I'm the best surgeon at Grace with the lowest mortality rate. You can't just bring some guy...
Richard (interrupts loudly): Ask me why I'm not so sure about you. (pause) Ask me why? (Burke walks away)

Burke: Why?
Richard: You really wanna know?
Burke: I want to know why you stopped thinking of me as your number one. (pause) Richard I do more in this hospital than any other surgeon...
Richard (interrupts): You do only exactly as much as is necessary. You never take an extra step. You never give an extra minute. You're comfortable and arrogant. And it doesn't impress me. You wanna be Chief. Earn it.

George: What's that?
Meredith: Don't ask. You don't want to know.
George: I do wanna know. Really.
Meredith: You really wanna know? (George nods smiling) It's a severed penis. (George looks slightly ill at this)
George: Okay. I didn't really wanna know.

Burke: You know we should get a drink later. You can tell me the long story of what makes a hot shot doc leave the Big Apple for Seattle.
Derek: A short story actually. You're ah Chief of Surgery made me an offer I couldn't refuse.
Burke (confused): Richard asked you to come?
Derek: Yeah. Why?
Burke (shrugs it off): Oh nothing.

Izzie: I wouldn't have called you but I can't get hold of a translator. Can you just ask her what's wrong?
Cristina: No.
Izzie: Why not?
Cristina: I grew up in Beverly Hills. The only Chinese I know is from a Mr. Chow's menu. Besides, I'm Korean.

Burke: Do you think I'm too confident?
Bailey: No.
Burke: Don't lie.
Bailey (sighs): You're my boss.
Burke: Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free starting now.
Bailey (pause): I think you're cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a God complex and don't think of anybody but your damn self.
Burke: But I--
Bailey: But what? I still have 22 seconds. I'm not done.

George: You know what you need? (Raises his eyebrows at her)
Meredith: No. It's sick and twisted. We said last time was the last time. (George makes a guilty face) You've been doing it without me?
George: Nancy Reagan lied. You can't just say no. C'mon.
Meredith: You know what would happen if anyone knew?
George: I'm doing it. You can come with me or you can stay here and be miserable. (Scene goes to newborn babies and George is baby talking at the babies) Look at you! You're so cute with your little yellow hat--
Meredith (laughs): You are such a woman.

George: Who here feels like they have no idea what they're doing? (in order, George, Izzie, Cristina, and Meredith raise their hands) I mean are we supposed to learning something because I don't feel like I'm learing anything.
Izzie: Except how not to sleep.
Cristina: You know, it's like there's a wall. The attendings and the residents are over there being surgeons, and we're over here being...
Meredith: ...suturing, code-running lab-delivering penis minders.
Alex: I hate being an intern.

Alex: My head hurts.
Cristina: Maybe it's a tumor.
Alex: Yeah, you wish I had a tumor.
Cristina: Look, I'd rip your face off if it meant I get to scrub in.

(During surgery with the rapist who had his penis bitten off by the girl he raped)
Bailey: Why are we not attempting to re-attach the severed penis?
Cristina: Teeth don't slice. They tear. You can only re-attach with a clean cut. If she wanted to slice him off with a knife...
Meredith: Besides the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with.
Bailey: Right. So what do we do?
Cristina: Sew him up missing a large part of the family jewels.
Bailey: And his outlook?
Meredith: He'll be urinating out of a bag for a very, very long time.
Cristina: Not to mention he'll never be able to have sex again.
Meredith: Oh, too bad.
Cristina: Shame.
Bailey: Let's all take a moment to grieve. (quickly) Clamp.

Richard: Chain of custody rules. All medical matter under reign must stay with the person who collected it until it's placed into police custody.
Patrica: You collected the specimen, so you have custody. (leaves)
Meredith: Custody of a penis?
Richard: Yes. Until the cops come for it.
Meredith: Okay, well what am I supposed to do with the penis?

Bailey (to Cristina): An intern was reassigned so he's mine now. Have him shadow you for the day, show him how I do things.
Alex: Alex Karev, nice to meet you.
Cristina: The pig who called Meredith a nurse. I hate you on principle.
Alex: And you're the pushy, overbearing kiss ass. I hate you too.
Cristina: Oh, this should be fun then.

Bailey (to Interns): Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! Why? Because my interns are whiny. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the pit doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary Freaking Poppins.

Burke: What is this? Does anyone know what this is? (Meredith looks at it in shock)
Meredith: Oh my god.
Burke (holding up body part): What? Spit it out Grey.
Meredith: She bit it off.
Burke: Bit off what?
Meredith: That's... his... penis. (a lot of the male doctors groan) She bit off his, his penis.
Burke (half groans): Oh. (Burke quickly dumps the 'penis' into a surgical pan)

Derek (to a patient and rapist whose victim bit off his penis): I have good news and bad news. The good news is Dr. Bailey stopped your bleeding. The bad news is we've given your penis to the cops. Have a nice life.

Derek: Seattle has ferry boats.
Meredith: Yes.
Derek: I didn't know that. I've been living here six weeks, I didn't know there were ferry boats.
Meredith: Seattle is surrounded by water on three sides.
Derek: Hence the ferryboats. Now I have to like it here. I wasn't planning on liking it here. I'm from New York. I'm genetically engineered to dislike everywhere. Except Manhattan. (everyone exits the elevator and they both enter) I have a thing for ferry boats.
Meredith: I'm not going out with you.
Derek: Did I ask you to go out with me? Do you want to go out with me?
Meredith: I'm not dating you and I'm definitely not sleeping with you again. You're my boss.
Derek: I'm your boss' boss.
Meredith: You're my teacher and my teacher's teacher. And you're my teacher.
Derek: I'm your sister. I'm your daughter.
Meredith: You're sexually harassing me.
Derek: I'm riding in an elevator.
Meredith: Look, I'm drawing a line. The line is drawn. There's a big line.
Derek: So this line, is it imaginary or do I need to get you a marker? (he turns around to face her. Meredith drops her folders and pushes Derek against the wall of the elevator and kisses him. They start making out as the elevator goes up the floors. The elevator bings and they break apart. Meredith picks up her folders and gets off the elevator, walking past people. He calls after her) We'll talk later?

Meredith (closing voiceover): At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines...or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know. If you're willing to take a chance...the view from the other side...is spectacular.