Grey's Anatomy Season 9 Episode 10

Bailey: What happened to the... mac and cheese cupcakes?
Bailey's Mom: Are you kidding me? You kept your guests waiting five hours.
Bailey: Now I saved a woman's life. You couldn't save me some food? Y-you... (notices Richard)
Bailey's Mom: Go take care of your guests, baby.

(In the backseat of Jackson's car, Jackson takes his shirt off)
Stephanie: Oh, lord.
Jackson: What? You want me to put it back on?
Stephanie: Are you kidding? Don't ever put it back on.

April: You're gonna wanna remember tonight, Shane. That is what a great night in the E.R. looks like. We deserve to celebrate. Let's just get stupid drunk and dance and--
Shane: Dr. Kepner, I know what you think is gonna happen, but it can't. Look, I worked too hard to get into this program to start... sleeping my mentor. So thank you for the interest, but, no, thank you.
April: Wh-What makes you think that I want to sleep with you?
Shane: You touched my shoulder and your brought me wine.
April: I was being nice.
Shane: Oh.
April: But you feel that you're being sexually harassed?
Shane: No. No, I'm not-- no.
April: O-Okay, good.
Shane: Good. I'm glad that's all cleared up. So now we can just... have fun.

Owen: The lawyer sent over the divorce papers.
Cristina: We don't have to do this right now. Let's just... Let's just take a minute and think about what this means.
Owen: I'm done thinking about it, Cristina.
Cristina: And?
Owen: We should never have gotten married in the first place. When we did, we took something beautiful and we put it in this... box. And for the last two years, all we have done is beat against those walls and tear each other apart. Now we sign these papers... that ends. We get out of that box. We don't hurt each other anymore. (they sign the divorce papers)

Jackson (looking at his phone): And we missed the ceremony. (shows Stephanie a picture of Bailey)
Stephanie: Oh, shoot. So... What do we...
Jackson: I could take you home.
Stephanie: I can't sleep with you.
Jackson: That's... Not what I was--
Stephanie: It wasn't?
Jackson: I mean, you're great, it's just I- I don't sleep with interns.
Stephanie: I don't eith-- I mean, I-- I don't sleep with my boss.
Jackson: Yeah, it's messy. And I've had enough drama lately, so--
Stephanie: We are entirely on the same page.
Jackson: Great. (they look at each other and then start making out)

Callie: We missed the whole thing.
Arizona (smirks): Well, maybe she won't notice.
Bailey (noticing them sneaking in): I hope whatever you were doing was worth it, 'cause you're a terrible maid of honor.
Meredith (sitting down): What did I miss?
Arizona: Oh, pretty much everything.
Callie: And Bailey calling me her maid of honor.

Bailey: Oh. Hi, oh I-I'm-- I"m coming. I have to get my dress.
Ben: Okay, take a breath.
Bailey: Just, um, I didn't forget. It was Adele Webber. I mean, if it was anybody else--
Ben: Wait, is she okay?
Bailey: Uh, stable in the I.C.U, we thought she wasn't gonna make it.
Ben: Look, if I'd known it was her, I--
Bailey: Hey, we're gonna make it. I don't know what they did with my dress.
Ben: Look, Miranda. Miranda, slow down. Slow down.
Bailey: Okay, I forgot. Just for... (voice breaks) Like 20 minutes. We-- We were in the trauma room, and she'd lost so much blood, and we had to rush up to endoscopy, and in those 20 minutes, I forgot... about you and the wedding. Somebody had to remind me.
Ben: Well, was the person dying? I mean, really dying, right then?
Bailey: Well, yeah.
Ben: Well, then you're supposed to forget. Anyway, you were never so crazy about the wedding in the first place.
Bailey: Y-Yeah, but I--
Ben: You were crazy about me, right?
Bailey: Yeah.
Ben: About marrying me? You were sure about that?
Bailey (voice breaking): I'm just so scared. See, I'm-- I'm scared that you get it now only because it was Adele Webber. And see, and this is not gonna be the last time that I forget, because I have so many things that I want to do, things I want to be. See, my ambition it killed my last marriage. I don't want to do that to you.
Ben: Miranda, Miranda, you... You do know that I'm not at home waiting around with a roast in the oven? No, I-- I'm in Los Angeles, becoming a surgeon, too. I-I have things I want to do... and be. And-- And-- And w-- We may only be together five minutes every two months, but hey, when we do, we will savor every second. Because we both know how valuable those five minutes are. Do you love me?
Bailey: More than I can hold in my heart.
Ben: You're sure about that?
Bailey: I am completely sure of that.
Ben: Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me, even if it is only in... five minute increments every two months?
Bailey: I do.

Meredith: Promise me you won't put me in a home if I get Alzheimer's.
Derek: You okay?
Meredith: Yeah. Just promise me.
Derek: I promise.
Meredith: Thank you.

Bailey: Thank god you were there. You saved her life.
Richard: I almost got her killed, leaving her in that place.
Meredith: You did what you thought was best.
Richard: No, I did what I was told. I never thought it was best. It won't happen again. (check his watch) Miranda. You have to get going.
Meredith: Go. (Bailey smiles and walks out)
Adele (waking up): Richard. You came. You're here.
Richard: I'm here, baby.
Adele: Stay with me. Just stay.
Richard: I'm not going anywhere. I'm here.

(In the hotel lobby)
Alex: What did you do with the room key?
Jo: The room key? (chuckles)
Alex: Oh, come on! I gave you the room key before we left the freakin' room.
Jo: No, you didn't. Did you?
Alex (scoffs): You do this all the time. You did this last week with the check for Becky's piano lesson. What is wrong with you?
Jo (starts crying): I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Hotel Desk Clerk: What's the problem?
Jo (crying): I lost the key to our room.
Alex (to the guy at the desk): Look, I'm sorry. It's been a very long day. (Jo is still crying) And, uh, obviously we... (starts crying) are both very drunk.
Hotel Desk Clerk: Oh, no. Uh, uh, wh-- What's your room number?
Jo: 220.
Hotel Desk Clerk: Uh, Jordan Shouse?
Alex: That's it. (the guy hands them a key card) Thank you. (they walk off and start laughing)

Cristina: Is Avery still in there with Stuart?
Owen: Yeah. Why?
Cristina: Oh, my patient needs a pericardiocentesis, and she won't let me touch her until I take her to see him.
Owen: Let me guess. We're talking about Gasoline?
Cristina: You know Gasoline?
Owen: Oh, we go way back. A couple of hours ago, she threatened to have me beaten senseless.
Cristina: Sounds like her. What a doll.

Jackson (to himself about Stephanie): You need to stop. You are not gross and you are not Karev.

Jackson: What?
Stephanie: Uh, sorry. It's just... Your technique-- It's kind of beautiful.
Jackson: It's Dr. Sloan's technique, actually. But I am pretty good at it. Here, you try.

Callie (exiting the bathroom): Hey. I, uh, decided to take a bath, which you're gonna appreciate... 'cause I smell amazing. (notices Arizona is still fully dressed)
Arizona: I'm sorry, Callie. I'm... I wanted to be spontaneous and fun. But I... I can't. (sighs) And I'm so sorry, Callie. I'm-- I... I'm-- I'm not ready. Please don't be mad. (Callie picks up the phone) What are you doing?
Callie (smiles): I'm calling room service. We're gonna need champagne to go with our mac and cheese cupcakes.

(On the phone)
Derek: Hello.
Callie: Hey, you're awake.
Derek: No, not really.
Callie: Oh, sorry. I just-- I wanted to check your post-op vitals. How's your B.P?
Derek: Uh, you know who would know that would be a nurse. Why don't you call a nurse?
Callie: Right. I'll do that.
Derek: Why are you whispering?
Callie: Oh, I'm in a hotel bathroom. And I'm about to have sex... (laughs) for the first time in months.
Derek: I'm hanging up now.
Callie: Oh, okay. Well, rest up. (Derek hangs up)

Alex (to Jo who is sobbing): Hey. Hey. Are you... Hey, look, I was kidding. (Jo continues sobbing) Come on, that wasn't even the worst thing I said. Oh, god. Please. You're not a garbage eater, okay? I'm sorry.
Jo (smiles and starts laughing): Oh-ho. Look at your face. Ah, I got you. I so got you.
Alex: What?
Jo: Tears, baby. The number one tool of the street kid. Turn on the water works, you can get out of anything.
Alex: Wait, wait. You-- You can just cry like that?
Jo: Got three surgeries out of you, chump.
Alex: Oh, come on. That's not fair. Chicks can get away with junk like that. That would never work for me.
Jo: You're wrong. A girl crying is one thing, but a guy crying freaks everybody out.
Alex: Really?
Jo: For sure.
Alex: Show me how.

Richard: You should be down there watching what they're doing.
Leah: I can see from here.
Richard: Primary aortoduodenal fistulas-- They almost never happen.
Leah: Why not?
Richard: This usually would present as a kind of pulsating mass. Something like that, a patient like that wouldn't wait to seek treatment. The-- The fistula would never develop. With Alzheimer's, they don't remember if they told anyone. Someone should've been there... paying attention. You should be down there.
Leah: Sir, respectfully, I'm not going down there. You should stop asking. What are they doing now?
Richard: Aneurysms like these are caused by a buildup of atherosclerotic plaque. Their clamp broke off a chunk of one these plaques... and that aorta opened right back up. They think they'll be able to move the clamp up higher and control the bleeding, but they're already up to the superior mesenteric artery. There isn't any place left for them to go.
Leah: I don't understand. What does that mean?
Richard: It means, they've just about run out of options.

Cristina: Emily Bennett?
Gasoline: Oh, the last person that called me that is somewhere choking on a tire iron.
Cristina: Excuse me. (looks at the chart) G-Gasoline? Uh, I'm Dr. Yang.

Alex (to the bartender after he hands Jo a drink): Uh, have you got a little brown paper bag you could put that in?
Jo: Would you stop? I had no parents. I lived in my car. So, yes, I have trust issues. Comes with the territory.
Alex: You need to stop acting like you're the only person who ever had a crappy childhood.
Jo: Yeah? How many foster homes did you get kicked out of before you moved into your car?
Alex: Uh, 17. And I didn't live in my car. I went to juvie.
Jo: Stop making fun of me.
Alex: I'm not.
Jo: Really?
Alex: And you're actually lucky that your folks abandoned you. Means you didn't have to watch your schizo mom go after your baby brother with a steak knife.
Jo: Fine. Fair. But you never woke up in the middle of the night with junkies banging on your bedroom windshield, praying they'd get tired or bored before they put a rock through a window.
Alex: No, I didn't, because the junkie was my dad, and he didn't break windows, just fingers.
Jo: Well, did you ever have foster parents that made you and 19 other kids sleep on cots in the basement... locking the doors at lights out, so that if you had to pee in the middle of the night you had to use buckets they set up along the wall? (voice breaking) Buckets you couldn't see because if you turned the lights on, the bigger kids would hold you down and take those buckets and...
Alex: God. No. Never.
Jo: Me neither. Saw it in a movie on cable. (they laugh)
Alex: How did you get cable in your car?
Jo (laughs): I don't live in my car anymore, jerk.

(In their hotel room)
Callie: Um... I'm sorry. I just... suddenly just got so nervous.
Arizona: Me, too.
Callie: Really? (Arizona leans in and kisses her)
Arizona: Oh. Okay, hold on. I'm sorry.
Callie: It's okay.
Arizona: Um... I think I should take the leg off first.
Callie: Of course. Yeah. I can help if--
Arizona: No, no, no. Um, velcro straps and plastic sockets aren't exactly sexy, and I wanted this evening to be all about sexy, so I think that I need to take the leg off myself. And I need you not to watch.
Callie: Oh, you want me to go in the bathroom 'til your leg's off and you're under the covers?
Arizona: Would you?
Callie: Oh. Okay, sure.

Leah: I told your fiancee that it was an emergency.
Bailey: But not who the patient was?
Leah: Should I have?
Bailey: No, no. He'd just send everybody home. I am still getting married today. (Mer walks in) What are you doing here? Oh, tell me he didn't call it off.
Meredith: No one called anything off. I'm here to help.

Jo (about Alex): He was just trying to be nice, and I got him in trouble with his boss. I can barely look him in the eye.
Stephanie: Dr. Avery has nice eyes. Do you think they're blue or green... or both?
Jo: Don't. Don't you dare sleep with him.
Stephanie: I'm not. Why not?
Jo: 'Cause that's the kind of thing Leah would do. You want to be like Leah?
Stephanie: Oh, gross. No. Besides he's probably not even interested.
Shane: Of course he's interested. Interns are like sexual catnip at this hospital. Look at me, I was enjoying a perfectly healthy teacher-student relationship with Kepner, and now she's all over me. I brought notes so I can keep the conversation about medicine, but she keeps asking me all these personal questions, and I'm running out of cards. (their cellphones chime)
Jo: Did you just get paged? Both of you?
April (walks up with Jackson & Alex): All of us.
Jackson: Big trauma back at the ranch. You kids comin'?
Stephanie: Yes, indeed.
Jo: Yeah, I'm coming, too.
Alex: Nope. Uh, you don't get to practice medicine with booze in your system, Hobo Jo.
Stephanie: You're Hobo Jo?
Shane: Like 'rides the rails and eats beans from a can'?
Jo: I don't-- I don't know. Weird.
April: Shane, you can ride with me. (Shane looks nervous and they all walk off)
Alex (sits down next to Jo at the bar): Beer for me and another round for Hobo Jo. Let me guess. Uh, thunderbird or is it just uh, straight paint thinner? (Jo rolls her eyes)

Shane: According to the article, the doctors discovered that her hair follicles had actually been growing nails instead of hair. Like fingernails.
Jackson: Cool story, bro.
Shane: Can I get anybody a coffee? (they all say 'no', Shane gets up and walks off)
April: It's like having dinner with 'Ripley's Believe It or Not!'
Jackson: So you're starting to regret this whole 'let's bring dates' idea?
April: No. No, I love 'Ripley's Believe It or Not!'
Alex: I love easy wedding sex, which I'm gonna miss out on now 'cause you jerks can't keep your hands off each other. You made me bring sand to the beach, and it's sand I can't sleep with.
Jackson: Since when can you not sleep with interns?
Alex: I'm a homeowner now. I've grown up. Besides, they get all hung up and sad when you don't want to be their boyfriend. It's not worth the hassle.
April (sarcastic): You are one classy guy, Karev.
Alex: I make an effort.

(Callie is in the buffet line)
Callie: Hey, look at these. Macaroni and cheese in the form of a cupcake. Might be the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Arizona: I just... did something. I got us a room. Just now. Um, a-and the guy at the desk said that it's really nice and it has a view. Though honestly, I only care that it has a bed.
Callie: Are you tired?
Arizona: No. (they share a look)
Callie: Oh. You got us a room.
Arizona: Yes.
Callie: S-So we could...
Arizona: Yes.
Callie: Okay. (starts putting all her food from her plate back) Excuse me. (to the guy standing next to her) Sorry, but if you knew, you'd understand.
Arizona: Wait. Okay, hold on. We should take some of that to go. You know, in case we work up an appetite.
Callie: Right
Callie:

Cristina: You know, I used to ride a donor cycle.
Heather: Really? Why'd you stop? (the patient groans when Heather puts in a chest tube)
Cristina: Chest tubes hurt like a bitch.

Cristina: I can stay.
Owen: We'll be fine. You should go.
Cristina: I don't really feel going to a wedding if I'm going to be signing divorce papers.

Callie: That poor handsome fool. Bailey's probably hopped a boxcar to Mexico by now. I am the worst maid of honor ever.
Arizona: Who made you maid of honor?
Callie: I called it. And then I tanked it. Uh, I'm-- I'm gonna go to the hospital.
Arizona: Right now?
Meredith: I'll go. I'm the general surgeon. Maybe I can tag her out of surgery. (hands Callie her flowers) Put this is water 'til I get back. (walks off)
Arizona: You really told Bailey to run?
Callie: I didn't say she should run. I said she could run. And-- And I was joking. I was... (chuckles) Ha ha. Funny... Funny me. (Arizona is silent) No? Okay. Who needs a drink? (walks off)

(After they have sex)
Cristina: What does this mean?
Owen (sighs): I don't know. The lawsuit is...
Cristina: Maybe... Maybe we'll be fine. Maybe we can--
Owen: Look, just-- Could we not talk about that? Not right now. (they kiss)

Bailey: Okay, let's get a C.T. and call the O.R. I want them ready the second we know what we're dealing with.
Leah: Should I call anyone else? You're going into surgery. You'll be a while.
Bailey: Yeah?
Leah: Dr. Bailey.
Bailey (gasps): I didn't forget.
Leah: I know that. Should I call your fiancee?
Bailey: Y-yes, please.

Meredith: (opening voiceover) In order to properly treat a problem, a surgeon needs as much information as she can get. So we ask questions. Questions like "When did the pain begin?", "Have you experienced these symptoms before?", "Do you have a family history?", "Are you currently sexually active?", "Have you recently undergone surgery?" If you're unwilling or unable to answer these and other questions, we're forced to rely on tests for insight. Until those test results come back there's nothing we can do but wait.

Meredith: (closing voiceover) The next time you're in your doctor's office, remember, she's not asking all those questions for her health. She's asking them for yours. Tell her everything. The small details aren't trivial. They actually make the story. There's no rush. Take all the time you need. Start at the beginning.