Grey's Anatomy

Derek (amused): You're askin' my advice? Meredith: Yes. Derek: Now, who's chasing? Meredith: Not funny. This is important. Derek: Okay. You want to get around Burke? You gotta find a way to get the Chief involved.

Meredith: The Dead Baby Bar. George: Every year, they hold this underground bike race. Izzie: Don't you wonder why someone would name a bar something so disgusting? Cristina: Keep your panties on, Nancy Drew. George: The race is completely illegal and-- Meredith: Crazy, a bunch of bike messengers racing against traffic trying to beat each other for free shots of tequila. Alex: All-out, no holds barred competition. Sounds like fun. Izzie: Yeah, you would think that. George: The race, the race doesn't even have any rules. Except eye gouging. No eye gouging. (Izzie laughs) Cristina: Oh great, we're going to be trapped in the Pit bandaging up idiots when we could be up in the O.R.? George: What kind of people engage in a race that has, as its only rule, that you can't rip out the eyeballs of another human being? Alex: Men, Georgie, Men.

Derek: Mornin', Dr. Bailey. Bailey (holds up her hand, preoccupied): Shut up. Derek: You realize that I'm an attending and you're only a resident? That you work for me, right?

(Meredith wakes up scared to find Izzie hovering over her bed with a cup of coffee) Izzie: George's room is bigger than mine. (Meredith sighs and gets up. She trips and falls flat on her face. Scene switches to Meredith moving hurriedly down the hall with Izzie following her) I have more clothes. I should have the bigger room. (they walk pass George, who is guarding his door) George: I got here first. Izzie: It's Meredith's house, she should decide. (George runs after them. Cut to Meredith walking down the stairs, Izzie and George are following her) George: My room is like, two inches bigger than yours. Izzie: You have a bigger closet! George: So? Why is everything always a competition? I – (Izzie and George argue in the background. Meredith enters her laundry room and rummages for some clean clothes) -- you could put your clothes somewhere else! Izzie: Everywhere else is filled with Meredith's mom's boxes. George: Meredith? When is your mom coming back to town anyway? (Meredith grabs her clothes and starts making her way back up the stairs) Because maybe we can put her boxes in storage. Izzie: Or unpack a few things, make this place a little more homey. Some throw pillows, some lamps, a few paintings. George: Oh, paintings would be nice. Izzie: Yeah. You have all this amazing stuff just packed away. In the back hall, I found this box with like a hundred tapes of your mother performing these amazing medical procedures. (Meredith walks down the hallway quickly and enters her bathroom) George: Really? We should watch them. Meredith do you want to watch –- (Meredith slams the door in their faces. A moment later she opens it again and takes Izzie's coffee from her and shuts the door again) Meredith, do you want some privacy?

George: I don't know if you've listened to the surgeon-general lately, say in the past twenty years, but smoking is bad. Smoking will kill you. Lloyd Mackie: Liver cancer will kill me. Smoking will just speed up the process. George: You're at the top of the donor list for a new liver. There's hope. Lloyd Mackie: Sweetheart, I've been at the top of the list for... eight months. I'm not in a batter's cage. I'm in a dugout, about to be traded. George: You like baseball? Lloyd Mackie: No!

Alex: God! I smell good! You know what it is? (looks at Meredith) It's the smell of open heart surgery. (Meredith shoots him a look and he takes in a deep breath) It's awesome. It is awesome. You gotta smell me. (he walks up behind Meredith and wraps his arms around her) Meredith: I don't want to smell you. Alex (nuzzles her hair): Oh, yes you do. (Meredith turns around and grabs Alex by his shirt and slams him against the lockers) Meredith: You have got to be kidding me! Okay. I have more important things to deal with than you. I have roommates, and boy problems, and family problems. (Alex yawns acts bored by her) You want to act like a little frat boy bitch? That's fine. You want to take credit for your saves, and everybody else's? That's fine, too. Just stay out of my face. (the door opens revealing Derek who watches. Meredith grabs Alex's chin so he looks at her directly) And for the record, you smell like crap! (she turns to go back to her locker and they both see Derek looking at them. Derek walks in a little and motions to Alex as if to say what just happened) Alex: She attacked me. (Meredith rushes to really attack him now) Derek: Meredith, Meredith, Meredith! (he grabs her arms before she reaches Alex and she lets him push her back. He turns back to Alex) You know you might want to leave. Before I change my mind and let her beat you to a pulp with her tiny ineffectual fists.

Meredith (closing voiceover): There's another way to survive this competition, a way no one ever seems to tell you about, when you have to learn through yourself. No. 5, it's not about the race at all, there are no winners or losers. Victories are counted by the number of lives saved.

Derek: It's not the chase. Meredith: What? Derek: You and me. It is not the thrill of the chase. It's not a game. It's...it's your tiny ineffectual fists. And your hair. Meredith: My hair? Derek: It smells good. And you're very, very bossy. It keeps me in line. Meredith: I'm still not going out with you. Derek: You say that now.

George: You underestimate me. I'm not a baby, I'm your colleague. You don't have to manipulate me. If you want something all you have to do is ask. Izzie: We want you to go over Burke's head to the chief. George: Ask me something easier.

(After Derek sees Viper kiss Meredith) Meredith: What do you want? Derek: You make out with patients now? Meredith: What, are you jealous? Derek: I don't get jealous. Meredith: We had sex - once. Derek: And we kissed in an elevator. Meredith: And we kissed in an elevator - once. Derek: No seriously. C'mon, go out with me. Meredith: No. Derek: You know, I almost died today. Yeah, I came like this close. How would you feel if I died and you didn't get a chance to go out with me? Meredith: Get over yourself already. Derek: C'mon! Meredith: It's the chase, isn't it? Derek: What? Meredith: The thrill of the chase. I've been wondering to myself, why are you so hell-bent on getting me to go out with you? You know you're my boss. You know it's against the rules. You know I keep saying no. It's the chase. Derek: Well it's fun, isn't it? Meredith: You see! This is a game to you, but not to me. Because, unlike you, I still have something to prove.

Meredith (about her new roommates, George and Izzie): They're everywhere. All the time. Izzie's all perky and George does this thing where he's helpful and considerate. They share food, and they say things, and they move things, and they breathe. Ugh, they're, like, happy. Cristina: Kick them out. Meredith: I can't kick them out, they just moved in. I asked them to move in. Cristina: So what, you're just going to repress everything in some deep, dark, twisted place until one day you snap and you kill them? Meredith: Yep. Cristina: This is why we are friends.

Cristina: It kills you, doesn't it? Alex: What? Cristina: That two women caught the harvest. Alex: No, it kills me that anybody got the harvest but me. Boobs do not factor into this equation. Unless, uh, you want to show me yours. (Meredith and Cristina look at each other) Meredith: I'm going to become a lesbian. Cristina: Me too.

Izzie: George, you did good. George: I'm going to have to dodge Burke for the rest of my career. He could kill me and make it look like an accident.

Meredith (after getting the Chief to talk to Burke into a surgery, on a patient who is brain dead): We are so going to hell. Burke's sending us straight to hell. Cristina: On an express train.

Burke (to Cristina and Meredith): This is the men's room, either whip one out, or close the door.

Viper (talking about Alex): The frat guy said I could go. Meredith: The frat guy's an ass. Okay, well, you have to sign an AMA form. Viper: Darlin', I will do anything you want me to. Meredith: What is it with you guys and your need to dirty everything up? Viper: I don't know. Maybe it's just testosterone, eh? Meredith: Maybe. You might want to see a doctor about that, too. Viper: Come here. (takes the form and signs it) There. (he gets up and takes a few steps towards the door but turns back abruptly. He grabs Meredith and kisses her who just holds her hands up in protest) That was for good luck. Don't worry, darling, you'll see me again. Meredith: For your sake, I hope not!

(watching multiple gurneys of injured bicyclists being wheeled into the ER) Cristina: Oh, it's like candy, but with blood. Which is so much better. Izzie: Oh my, God... Cristina (eyeing a patient): Mine. Izzie (running after her): I saw him first!

Alex: What are you doing? George: Hiding. There's this VIP patient - he likes me. Alex: That's good, right? George: He likes me, likes me. Alex: Go for it man, get yours. I'm down with the rainbow. (George gives him a strange look) Oh, are you not gay? George: No. Alex: Really? Dude, sorry. (he walks away as Cristina walks up) George: Uh, Cristina? Do you... do you think... does Meredith think I'm gay? Cristina: Are you? George: No! Cristina: Really?

Cristina (to Meredith about Izzie): She's the Vice President of Fantasyland.

Bailey: Fools on bikes killing themselves. Natural selection is what it is.

Meredith (to Alex): How do you manage to make everything dirty?

Meredith (opening voiceover): We live out our lives on the surgical unit. Seven Days a week, fourteen hours a day, we're together more than we are apart. After a while, the ways of residency becomes the ways of life. Number one : Always keep score. Number two: do whatever you can to outsmart the other guy. Number three: Don't make friends with the enemy. Oh, yeah, Number four: Everything, everything is a competition. Whoever said winning wasn't everything ... Never held a scalpel.

Meredith: Are those my mother's surgical tapes? George: We should watch the skin grafting one first. Meredith: Where did all this stuff come from? Izzie: Oh, I unpacked some of your mother's things. I was upset, and when I'm upset I like to nest. (Meredith stares, then starts taking down pictures that have placed around the room. Izzie finds another tape) Ooh, Hemipelvectomy. George (grabs the tape from Izzie): I think we should watch this one first. Meredith: No. No. We're not watching my mother's surgery tapes! We're not unpacking boxes! We're not having long conversations where we celebrate the moments of our lives. (she grabs a beer of the table and hands it to George) And use a coaster! George: I ordered Chinese food. (Meredith storms off up the stairs) Meredith: I hate Chinese food! (Izzie and George try not to laugh but they can't help it)