Growing Pains Season 5 Episode 13

Carol: Ben, you spend far too much time procrastinating.
Ben: You know about that?
Carol: Everybody knows about it.
Ben: Yeah, well, maybe if you procrastinated once in a while, you wouldn't be so tense!

Maggie: (asking about Ben's map of Russia) What's that red square?
Ben: Red Square! What's with you people?

Mike: (after being ordered to take Ben) Great, I come in to get a sandwich and I wind up with a weenie.

Ben: Did you have to do a dorky map, too?
Mike: Oh, Benny, it was my finest academic hour. I got Monaco. I glued one poker chip to a 3x5 card and I was home-free. Poor Boner got Russia—eight million square miles of ways to go wrong.

Mike: Those babes are after me and Ben.
(Eddie jumps into car)
Ben: Didn't you hear him, Eddie? They're after Mike and me.
Eddie: Yeah, and if either one of you is unable to fulfill the duties of your post, I'm in there!

Ben: What is Dad doing here?
Mike: I don't know. He was supposed to be going to dinner.
Ben: Maybe he got lucky.
Mike: Ben, married guys never get lucky.

Ben: So, Mike, what do you say we go back to the store and get two more girls?
Eddie: Listen to the lad. He thinks it's so easy. He doesn't know the hours of hard work it takes just so you can get a girl to look you in the eye and not puke.