Growing Pains

Season 4 Episode 2

Birth of a Seaver

Aired Unknown Oct 26, 1988 on ABC



  • Trivia

    • The opening titles break from the normal ones from this and last season. In the final shot, when the family heads for the house, Maggie remains and tells the others that it's time for her birth, the only time they ever talked in the titles. They help her into the house and the scene after the commercial bump segues directly from this.

  • Quotes

    • Carol: Ha! Michael Seaver, I hope that it's a girl... with every ounce of my being.
      Mike: Well, then, I don't stand a chance!

    • Jason: Well, I'm just saying that I wouldn't be going into work tomorrow if I were two weeks overdue.
      Maggie: Well, that's because you're a better mother than I am.

    • Carol: I still don't see how you two can be so calm. I mean, Mom, you're about to give birth—perhaps the most painful, gross human experience in the whole world!
      Maggie: Thank you, Carol.
      Jason: Your mom and I have the advantage of having been through this a few times before, Carol.
      Carol: Yeah, but you were much, much younger then.

    • Maggie: Mike, you know what you could do, you could heat me some water.
      Mike: Water. Hot water??? You mean the baby's coming right now??? Dad, you're a doctor, can't you stop that thing???

    • Mike: No, no, we can't go in your car. Your car's in the shop.
      Jason: What's it doing there?
      Mike: You told me to take it there!
      Jason: Oh, that was last week, Mike!
      Mike: And you say I never listen.

    • Marge: Aren't you that Maggie Malone from the TV news?
      Maggie: Yes.
      Marge: I see you all the time.
      Maggie: Thank you.
      Marge: I didn't say I like you. I said I see you.

    • Marge: Now, this birthing room allows the whole family to be a part of and witness to the beauty of birth.
      Carol: Ewwww!
      Marge: Exactly.

    • Carol: It's just, watching a birth would be so... fleshy.
      Mike: I feel like watching Alien in 3D.

    • Ben: Do you smoke in a hospital?
      Chris: Are you a doctor?
      Ben: No.
      Chris: A nurse?
      Ben: No.
      Chris: An orderly?
      Ben: No.
      Chris: I can smoke in a hospital.

    • Chris: So, Ben Seaver, what're you doin' here?
      Ben: Nothing.
      Chris: Oh, well good. Then you can come in, we can chew the fat.
      Ben: "Fat"??? I lost ten pounds!

    • Chris: Maybe I can help you out with your problem. It would make me feel better. Yeah, I love to have guys tell me their problems. That's what I do for a living.
      Ben: My dad does the same thing.
      Chris: No kidding! He's a bartender, too?

    • Chris: You know, I'll tell ya, I been a lot of things. A bartender, a veteran, a Kiwanian. Or is it a Rotarian? I can never get that right.

    • Maggie: I want you to know that I love being married to you and you can leave the toilet seat up until we're old and gray.
      Jason: I think that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.

    • Mike: Wow, look at all these babies. They've all got families. Brothers and sisters. Yeah, it really makes you stop and think about what's important in life.
      Carol: Mike, every once in a while, you make me really proud to be your sister.
      Mike: Oh, hey, look at the twins on that nurse!

    • (Mike and Carol notice Ben is missing)
      Mike: Now, I'll check this floor and you go check the other eight.
      (Mike takes off down the hall)
      Carol: The other eight?!

  • Notes

  • Allusions