Growing Pains

Season 1 Episode 4

Carol's Article

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Aired Unknown Oct 15, 1985 on ABC
8.4
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Episode Summary

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Carol writes a dense, intellectual article to try out for her school paper. Ben and Mike are hooked on off-track betting for horse races.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (11)

      • Carol: This is so exciting! The roar of the mighty presses! Ink coursing through my veins. Maybe I've got what it takes. Maybe I don't. But I'll never find out if I don't leap into the darkness and give my all.
        Mike: If she sings, "I Gotta Be Me," I swear I'll throw up.

      • (Maggie struggles with Carol's article)
        Jason: Carol's paper can't be that bad.
        Maggie: She wrote about guys who dig for clams.
        Jason: Well, what's wrong with that?
        Maggie: She called it, "I Clam, Therefore I Am."

      • Maggie: (reading Carol's article) Listen to this:
        "Night obduces the isthmus 'neath its obsidian mantle. The mollusks imbibe one last sip twixt their valves and expel the day's muculence."
        Jason: She could be pushing a little.
        Maggie: Jason, read this.
        Jason: "With dexterous manipulation of his digits, the master clammer extricates the muculent mollusk from its lapideous ménage."

      • Maggie: Jason, what am I gonna tell her? She asked for my honest opinion.
        Jason: No kid wants your honest opinion. They want unconditional approval.
        Maggie: And what if you don't approve?
        Jason: Then you have a significant dilemma, much like the one you're in now.
        Maggie: Thank you, Dr. Seaver.

      • Maggie: Oh, come on, Jason, help me out here.
        Jason: Well, look, we want this to be a learning experience for her.
        Maggie: Go on.
        Jason: And all learning is based on positive reinforcement.
        Maggie: More.
        Jason: See, if you want a pigeon to perform, you reward it with a pellet.
        Maggie: What are you saying?
        Jason: I'm saying we should have had pigeons. They're easier to raise.

      • Maggie: (accepting Jason's suggestions) You're right. Accentuate the positive.
        Jason: Yes. Be gentle and nurturing and supportive. Then if that doesn't work, you simply tie her to the bed and set her Reeboks on fire.

      • Mike: Jerry says we bet on Undulate in the eighth.
        Ben: I say we bet on Arbitrary.
        Mike: Why?
        Ben: Why not?

      • Mr. Simmons: Your writing, it stinks.
        Carol: What?
        Mr. Simmons: Excuse me, I forgot who I was talking to. It is replete with stinkiosity.

      • Carol: If I want to be a writer, I'll write a novel. At least nobody trains their puppy on Moby Dick.

      • Maggie: Mike, will you get your sister, please?
        Mike: (yells up stairs) Yo, Fido, dinner!
        Carol: I'll be right down, fire hydrant.

      • Mike: This is The Walt Whitman Chronicle. It's one of the great papers. It's up there with Charmin and Nice 'N' Soft.

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