Growing Pains Season 4 Episode 11

Carol: Mike, what brings you here, money or food?
Mike: (to Maggie) You see how you're raising your daughter? I mean, your basic disrespect for me is rubbing off on the geek-woman.

Mike: Are you suggesting that this is some kind of, what's the word, "con?"
Jason: I'm not suggesting that, Mike, I'm flat out saying it.

(Jason lends Carol a car and gives her gas money)
Mike: Alright, now what the heck is going on around here? I mean, I can't even get a lousy couple of dollars for gas, but you give her 20 bucks and a car?
Jason: Makes you think, doesn't it?
Mike: No! Nothing makes me think!

Carol: Mike, what the hell do you want?
Mike: Shhh! We're in a library!
Carol: What are you doing in a library?
Mike: Well, I figured that, eventually, I'd have to see the inside of one, so I decided to get it out of the way.

Sandy: What college to you go to?
Carol: College? NYU. You?
Sandy: Isn't that just one "U"?

Mike: (to Carol) Hey, don't get so excited. I mean, it's no big deal. So what? A guy picked up on you. It was bound to happen. There're plenty of desperately lonely guys out there.

(believing Carol's lie about a cattle traffic tie-up)
Jason: No hoofprints on the car, huh?
Carol: No.
Maggie: I guess it was hard to "steer" the car.
Jason: Probably couldn't get your hands on the "veal." (laughing)

Maggie: This is exactly why we need a car phone.
Jason: Pfft. Only those Hollywood types have car phones.

Jason: Ben, you know the rules. When your parents aren't here, the kids aren't allowed to have anybody over.
Ben: But Vito's mom doesn't want us over there.
Jason: Why not?
Ben: I don't know! She said something about us driving her around the bend. I don't even have a license!