Growing Pains Season 1 Episode 3

Maggie: (on phone) No, no, Mrs. Curwick, you see, we suspect that Easttown is giving you and your neighbors a lot of false information about what's been dumped in that reservoir. Right. Uh huh. Uh huh. See, that's just what I mean. You see, there's no such thing as "chunky style" water.

Jason: I thought I heard a car door slam.
Mike: No, you know, Dad, no matter how many times I ask the neighbors to please climb out through their windows, they insist on using those doors.

Ben: Dad, did they have science projects when you were in third grade?
Mike: Ben, when Dad was in the third grade, they didn't have science. In fact, when Dad was in the third grade, they didn't have the third grade.

Jason: Ah, Mike, they say the sense of humor is the final stage of child development. You ought to feel it coming on any time now.

Maggie: It's only 15 minutes.
Jason: "It's only 15 minutes." Maggie, a lot can happen in 15 minutes. The Titanic sunk in 15 minutes. Charlton Heston picked up ten commandments in 15 minutes. Our first child was conceived in 15 minutes—tops.