Jason: Mike, get that rabid animal out of here!
Mike: Come on, Dad. Stuart's not rabid. He's... peppy.
Jason: Mike, animals that live off human toes are not "peppy."
Jason: Well, since when did you believe everything Melissa says she heard?
Carol: Well, she does make you wonder sometimes. I mean, she swore she saw Mick Jagger at JCPenney's last week.
Jason: Well, they did have that big sale in Home Furnishings.
Wendy: I hope Stuart wasn't too much trouble for you.
Jason: Stuart, no, no. No, no. Once we started feeding him the neighbors' children, we hardly knew he was here.
Ben: Yeah, Dad?
Jason: What did Mike do to Stuart?
Ben: The truth, Dad?
Jason: Yeah, Ben.
Ben: Mike didn't do anything to Stuart. Bye, Dad. (runs away)
Wendy: But this dog changes colors when he gets wet. Stuart would never do that.
Mike: Uh, you know, there's an article about this in the paper. They're saying pets are changing colors left and right now. It's that acid rain, you know.
Jason: Mike, look...
Mike: Uh, there's a schnauzer in Cincinnati that turned purple.
Mike: They say it's perfectly normal.
Mike: Wendy, I would have told you the truth, but then I asked myself, 'What is truth?' Is it honesty? Or is it pain and grieving? Or is it the smile on a beautiful girl's face? I guess you know what I think the truth is.
Jason: You took a white dog and you dyed him black.
Mike: Hey, when somebody leaves a black dog with Mike Seaver, they get a black dog back.
Jason: Maggie, I tried to include you...
Maggie: Oh, don't patronize me, Jason. Throwing me a bone, calling me an old pro. Maybe in a few years, you can bring me back for Old-Timers' Day.
Jason: You know, Maggie, uh, I was at work when Ben took his first step, and when Carol spoke her first sentence, and when Mike... committed his first illegal act. I missed out on all that.
Jason: How was your vacation?
Wendy: Oh, it was great. First we went to Europe and then we went to France.
(Mike's girlfriend's dog has run away)
Mike: What's the matter, Ben? Don't you recognize your old pal, Stuart?
Ben: Mike, Stuart is black.
Ben: This dog is white.
Ben: So, I think that's a noticeable difference.
Mike: Look, Ben. You gotta help me. Stuart ran away.
Ben: Wendy's going to kill you!
Mike: Not if she doesn't find out.
Ben: Mike, even one of your girlfriends has a shot at remembering the color of her own dog.
The German episode title is "Wer hat meinen Hund angemalt?", meaning "Who Painted My Dog?"
Music: Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell"
This is the first of Olivia d'Abo's two, unrelated appearances on Growing Pains. She can also be seen in season two's "Employee of the Month."