Growing Pains

Jason: What're you doing about your future, huh? You ever even think about that? Mike: Yeah, come on, you don't have to ream me. Jason: This is not reaming. No, no. This is fatherly advice. Mike: What's the difference? Jason: Reaming is what I do if you don't take the fatherly advice.

(Carol comes in) Carol: Something big or just the usual monthly ream? Jason: Carol, would you mind leaving, please, so I can finish giving Mike his... fatherly advice. Carol: Okay, but be sure to yell. I don't want to miss a word. Jason: GET OUT!!! Carol: Perfect.

Jason: Will you take over with Mike, please? Maggie: So what was he doing, "Don't be a bum"? Mike: Nah, "Plan your future." Maggie: So how far was he? Mike: The vein over his left eye was starting to pulse.

Jason: His lawyer says they want me there. Maggie: Why? Jason: Well, uh, Uncle George apparently in his will named me executor. Mike: What's he need executing for if he's already dead?

Mike: Dad, come on. Chill out. Don't be so anal. (Jason glares) Don't worry. It's not what you think. It's a psychological term. Jason: Not when you use it.

Jason: Wait a minute, you're Uncle George's lawyer? Claver Jackson: Claver M. Jackson, Esquire. At your service. Jason: But you're a cab driver. Claver Jackson: I'm also the town mayor, real estate broker and movie critic. But my first love will always be chiropracting.

Mike: (looking over cabin) Oh, what a place! Claver Jackson: Well, it oughta be, son. Your Uncle George spent 15 years building it. Did it all by hand. Mike: No tools at all, huh?

(Jason complains he's on a tight schedule) Claver Jackson: Look, I know how we can keep you on schedule. Yeah, we'll just ignore a dying man's request and flush his ashes down the toilet right now. Jason: I get the point. Claver Jackson: I should have warned ya. I'm also the town's cynic.

Nancy: I was just telling your dad what he told your Uncle George. Mike: Oh, oh. Gosh, I'd love to hear it, too. Nancy: Well, you said to him, "What's your life without your dreams?" Mike: This man said this? Are you sure it wasn't "What's your life without your lists?" Nancy: I'm sure. You also said, "Staying open to possibilities is so much more important than planning every move or watching every dime." Jason: I had forgotten. Mike: I have the right cabin, just the wrong father.