Season 18 Episode 20

Whelan's Men

Aired Unknown Feb 05, 1973 on CBS



  • Quotes

    • Doc: Why don't you take that money and invest it in something? Why don't
      you do that?
      Festus: Invest it in what?
      Doc: There's wonderful land values outside of Dodge. Now why don't you go out there someplace, look around, and buy yourself a lot?
      Festus: A lot of what?
      Doc: A lot! A lot of land!
      Festus: Well fiddle, I can't afford to buy a lot of land. You probably could the way
      you've been a bilking and gouging...
      Doc: Oh hush up! I'm trying to help you, for heaven sakes. It don't cost a whole
      lot to buy a little lot.
      Festus: What do you mean it don't cost a whole lot to buy a little, or a whole lot to buy a lot, what do you mean???
      Doc: Well I mean... a little lot of LAND!
      Festus: But there ain't no such a thing. A little's a little, and a lot's a lot, there
      ain't no little lot, or lot of little, don't you see? Now you want that beer or don't you?
      Doc: No I'm... I'm all worn out.
      Festus: If you change your
      mind me and Newly will be over at the Longbranch having a whole lot of little beers. Now I'm buying.