Hannah Montana

Lilly: I just don't get it, why won't you go to the concert with me? Miley: It's just that I really want to spend some quality time with my brother. Lilly: Quality time with your brother? Ok if you don't want to tell me I guess there's nothing I can do, except go through life wondering what I did to deserve being hurt so badly by my... Miley: Oh just stop I just can't go ok!

Lilly: Well I guess I'm leaving too. Hannah: OK! Lilly: Without even a towel as a souvenir. Hannah: Bye-bye! Lilly: Nothing but my memories which will fade too too quickly. Hannah: Alright, alright, here!

Lilly: Miley, you've been totally crushing on Johnny Collins for months. He thought you were funny! This is you chance! He's sitting right there, let's move!

Miley: I wanted to tell you. It's just that I was afraid. Lilly: Afraid of what? Miley: I don't know. I thought maybe once you knew you won't want to be my friend anymore. And you'd like Hannah Montana more than you like me. Lilly: That's what you thought? That could never happen Miley. Don't you know that?

Lilly: Higher Oliver, I'm almost in. Oliver: There is no higher. You're already standing on my head! Lilly: Jump you idiot, jump!

Jackson: (wearing the dress) Ugh, I am so not getting paid enough for this. Miley: (she sees him wearing it) Neither am I!

Oliver: This is Hannah Montana's towel. She gave it to me, in her dressing room. Amber: Ooooh, and she gave me this sandwich. You're pathetic. (Amber & Ashley do their gesture)

Lilly: Booger check! Miley: You are so gross!

Lilly: Here I go... headed for the door... after making the best apology I could possibly think of (she looks at Miley) still hoping she forgives me...... halfway there... Miley: Lilly you are such a drama queen.

Lilly: I have a lucky bracelet just like that! Except mine has Lilly on the back... just like that. Miley/Hannah: Ta-Da!

Lilly: Hannah Montana's hot dogs! (picks up a hot dog) Hannah Montana's scarf! (rubs scarf on her cheek. Miley/Hannah walks out of bathroom) Lilly: (shouting) Hannah Montana!

(while entering the cafeteria, Oliver tries to be smooth with the ladies) Oliver: How you doin', baby? (to Amber and Ashley) I'm Oliver Oken and you two are smokin'! Amber: In your dreams. Oliver: I'm counting on that. (to another girl) Hey, slick. (he looks at another girl) Oh, yeah. She wants me.

Oliver: Hannah Montana's towel! (Oliver falls) It's okay! None of my blood got on the towel!

Hannah: It's not a real pie. It's a foaming facial wash... pie.

Lilly: (skateboards up to the door) Hey! Can I talk to you? Miley: (depressed) Who, Miley or Hannah? (pause) Lilly: Miley. Miley: (snaps) Well, she's not talking to you right now!

Robbie: (singing) I like to sing, I like to dance Robbie & Jackson: But I can't do it with poopy in my pants!

Lilly: Why am I standing in your closet? Miley/Hannah: Because, behind my closet is...(reveals Hannah Montana's closet) my closet. (Miley reveals Hannah Montana's numerous wardrobe, and Lilly is standing there with her mouth open in shock)

Lilly: What size shoe do you wear? Miley: I'm a five. Lilly: I'm a six, but I'll squeeze!

Lilly: I thought we were friends. I thought we told each other everything, but I guess I was wrong cause you kept just about the biggest secret in the world, Miley Stewart Slash Hannah Montana!

Lilly: (referring to Miley) Oh great idea, I'll call her. Hannah: NO, ya know, cell phones don't really work in here. It has to do with the walls and the cement. (Miley's phone rings) Well look at that I guess they fixed it. Lilly: Aren't you gonna get that? Hannah: No, I'm talking to you and that would be rude. (They let the cellphone ring a few times) Okay, she's not home! (Hannah closes Lilly's cellphone and Miley's phone stops ringing) Lilly: Woah, that was weird.

Oliver: You have an extra ticket to Hannah Montana!? (everyone in lunchroom gasps) That was really loud, wasn't it?

Jackson: (wearing a dress and wig) I don't know. I think it makes me look a little big around the hips. Fermine: Please, let's not blame the dress.

Jackson: (about Lilly) Did you see the way she ignored you? Well, I'm sorry, but that is no way to treat a man of your compassion, sensitivity-- (Robbie fills Jackson's mouth with whipped cream) Jackson: Still no money?

Miley: (about Johnny) He is so cute! Robbie: Honey, at your age, there's only two things that are cute. Squirrels and little puppy dogs. Whew. I tell you I hate wearing this thing. (takes off fake moustache) It's like kissing your great Aunt Clara. Miley & Robbie: (shudder) Eww!

Johnny: Um, can you sign this to "Johnny"? It's not me, it's my little brother. He really likes you. N-Not that I don't, I do. But, you know, it's-he wanted me to get it, so I'm getting it. So if you could just sign that to Johnny, my little brother. Hannah: There you go. Johnny: Thanks. Hannah: Hey, really soft hands. Johnny: Thanks, it's ketchup.

Jackson: Dad, I can only hope that when I'm a father I can give my chil- Robbie: No money! Jackson: Didn't think so. (Jackson takes the french fry and eats it)

Robbie: I know you're concerned that if Lilly finds out the truth that she won't treat you the same. She's still you're best bud. You need to trust that. At least think about telling her? Miley: Okay. (short pause) Miley: Not gonna happen.

Jackson: Hey, Dad, I'm really nervous about my date. And, well, I'm just gonna say this. There is nobody in the world who's advice I trust and respect more than you. Robbie: Son, I'm not loaning you money. Jackson: Is that what you think this is about? Dad, I am hurt. This has nothing to do with borrowing money from you. I was actually kind of hoping more for an outright gift. Robbie: I gave you the gift of life, son. Don't push it.

Oliver: Hannah Montana is a goddess. I worship at her feet. In fact, FYI, some day I'm gonna be Mr. Hannah Montana. Gonna watch her every minute of every day, protect her from any obsessed fans. Every night I'll shampoo and condition that beautiful blonde hair. Miley: Oliver, I say this because I care about you. Get some help!

(after Amber & Ashley steal Lilly & Miley's seats) Lilly: Hey, Amber, Ashley. We were going to sit there. Ashley: Well, isn't that just too bad. Amber: Oh, but don't worry. There are seats over there by the trash cans... Amber & Ashley: (at the same time) ... at the loser's table. Ooh! Ssss! Miley: Um, hey, Amber? I think it might be time to pluck the 'stache. Lilly: And Ashley. (gasps) Is that a zit, or are you growing a new head?! (Lilly & Miley stare at her face) Lilly & Miley: (at the same time) Gross! Ooh! Ssss!

Johnny: Hey, Miley, how's it going? (Miley stares at him; Lilly punches her in the arm) Miley: Um, pretty good. (starts putting ketchup on her hand unknowingly) Just getting some ketchup for my veggie burger. I see you like mayonnaise. Never tried that on a veggie burger, and maybe I should, but not today because I got the whole ketchup thing going... Lilly: Miley. Miley. Miley! Miley! Miley: (realizes she has ketchup all over her hand) You know, what a lot of people don't know is-is... it's also a wonderful moisturizer. Here. (wipes some ketchup on Johnny's hand) Johnny: Moisturizer? You're pretty funny. Oh, my hand does feel softer.

Lilly: Guess who just landed two tickets to the hottest concert in town? Miley, you and I - I being you're best friend - are going to see the one, the only... Hannah Montana! Whoo! (Miley stares) Lilly: You're not screaming. Why aren't you screaming? Jackson: Oh, believe me, she's screaming on the inside.

Miley: Lilly alert in 18 seconds! Jackson: She's your best friend, Miley. Sooner or later you're gonna have to tell her you're Hannah Montana. Miley: I'll pick later.

Jackson: (to Miley) Do you mind? I am on the phone here, all right? I got a life, too, you know. And I would appreciate it if I could have one conversation without hearing the words "Hannah Montana." (on the phone) Yeah, that's right, girl. I know Hannah Montana. I got two incredible tickets for tomorrow night. Great, I'll see you then. (hangs up; to Miley) I need two incredible seats for tomorrow night. Miley: Sorry, I'm sold out. Jackson: Dad? Robbie: Hey, think about it this way, Miley. He goes out with the girl, they fall in love, they get married, he moves out. Miley: You've got the tickets!