Hannah Montana

Jackson: I have something to show you! (Oliver jumps behind a chair) Oliver: Okay, ready! Jackson: It was some water and unidentifiable sludge, get a tetanus shot and buck up little camper!

(While trying to cheer) Lilly: Go team throw the ball, go team to the mall!

Miley: Any questions? Lilly: Just a few, One what the hecky is a herky?

Miley: They got our ball, We want it back, they got our ball, we want it back, they got our ball, Coach: You want it back, I get it.

Jackson: (After the plumber said he did a good job) Because I didn't screw up! I didn't screw up! I didn't screw up! (Hits his elbow on the refridgerator, you hear crashing, he opens the door and all the food falls to the floor) Robbie: Jackson! What was that?! Jackson: Nothing! Now it's time for my spidey escape. (Hops onto the counter and does the spidey hand sign) Dang it! I gotta get these things fixed!

Miley:(After cheer practice) Thanks dad. . . i'm going to take a shower. Robbie: Well unless you're in the mood for a Mushui Shampooie, I wouldn't.

Lilly: You might be good at football, you might be good at track, but when it comes to basketball you might as well step back. Uh huh, step back. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. (Does incredible gymnastics moves). Miley: Wow, where did that come from?! Lilly: I just did all my skateboarding stunts without my skateboard. Coach: Well put down the skateboard and grab a uniform..........You're on the squad!

Jackson: Now how come when I ended up on the couch like that, I got grounded for a week? Robbie Ray: It's because you jumped all the way from the piano. Jackson: Sixteen feet, a new personal best, baby!

Lilly: When you cheer that way, I have to say okay. I know you must be right, but now I have...(softly) stagefright. Miley: Say goodnight, Lola! Lilly: Goodnight, Lola.

Lilly:(Points to a pom-pom) If one of these is a pom-pom, does that make two of them pom-pom pom-poms? These are the questions that haunt me.

(To the tune of "Pumpin' up the Party") Jackson: Hey! Come on! Get out! I'm snakin' out the pipes now. Hey! Come on! Get out! I'm snakin' out the pipes now.

Miley: And slide! And slide! And do the butterfly! And dip! And dip! And shake my little hips! I want you! And you! To cheer it with me too! (Miley jumps) Coach: Way to go baby! When I asked you to bring it, you brought it! Now take it over there!

Hannah: Why are you limping? Lilly: Because thanks to you, I couldn't concentrate and my herky was jerky! Hannah: Wow, that looks swollen. Do you want some ice? Lilly: Don't you be nice to me when I'm mad at you! And yes, wrapped in a towel.

Plumber: Your main line was so rusted, you were one flush away from flooding the place. But the work this boy did held it all together till I got here. Robbie: Now wait a minute. You talking about my son Jackson? Plumber: Yeah. Robbie: This boy right here? My son? Plumber: Right. He didn't screw up. He saved this place. Robbie: This boy did? Plumber: Yes! Robbie: Jackson? Plumber: Yes. Son, you've got the plumber's gift. My boy had it, but he decided to go to college. Kids. They'll break your heart.

Plumber: Well, Mr. Stewart, you are one lucky man. Robbie: (watching the plumber bent over, fixing the sink) Uh, I'd feel a lot luckier if I was talking to your face. Plumber: Oops, sorry. Was I showing again? You get so used to the breeze, you can't even tell anymore. Jackson: I know what you mean.

Miley: I'm sorry, coach. I was just trying to be the best mascot I could be. Coach Lewis: And I think you were. That's what's so sad.

Coach Lewis: Oh, hi, Stewart. Miley: Coach, I put this on my head and it smells like a litter box. Coach Lewis: Don't worry, I think I've got something that might help. Miley: Oh, man, there's gum stuck in here. Coach Lewis: Air fresheners! Do you want to smell like a pine forest, a tropical breeze, or a brand new car? Miley: I want to smell like a cheerleader. Coach Lewis: They don't make that scent.

Miley: (wearing the mascot uniform) Argh! I'm a pirate! Why am I riding a tricycle? Coach Lewis: This is not a tricycle. This is your pirate ship. Own it, sail it, make the crowd believe it! Miley: I don't even believe it.

Oliver: (over the microphone) Testing, testing. 555-0121. 555-0121. That's my number, ladies. The tenth caller gets a date with moi. (his cell phone rings) Hello, lucky tenth caller. Coach Lewis: (on her cell phone; to Oliver) Knock it off, Oken! Oliver: Sorry, coach.

Coach Lewis: Lilly Truscott, come on down! You're the next contestant on the "Coach is Right!" (laughs)

Coach Lewis: (to Miley) Congratulations to our new mascot! Miley: Yeah! Mas... What?!

Lilly: You're going to give up the Rolling Stones concert for me? Miley: Please, those guys will still be touring when they're 90. Lilly: I thought they were already 90.

Oliver: (on the microphone) Your score at half-time. The Filmore Flamingos - 58. And your Seaview Pirates, less than that. (plays sound effect of a toilet flushing) Way less than that. But let's not think about that. Let's think about your lovely Seaview Pirates. (quickly) That's 555-0127.

Oliver: Hey, Jackson, Miley left her head at practice. Get it? Her head. Jackson: Don't know. Oliver: But I didn't ask that. Jackson: Don't care. Oliver: Will you stop? Jackson: Don't count on it.

Ashley: She doesn't like you 'cause you're too pretty and you threaten her. Amber: Story of my life!

Oliver: It's not that bad. Is it? (Oliver lets Lilly smell the pirate head and she faints)

Oliver: Hey, uh, Jackson, where's Miley? Jackson: Don't know. Oliver: When's she gonna be back? Jackson: Don't care. Oliver: Could you tell her I stopped by? Jackson: Don't count on it.

(Jackson turns on the garbage disposal; it explodes in his face) Jackson: Oh, man. I hated that broccoli casserole the first time!

Jackson: Plumbers make $80 an hour? I'll do it for $50! Robbie: You know what? I'm so late, I'm gonna take you up on that little deal. Jackson: Wait a minute. If I'd known you would've caved that fast, I would've asked for, like, $60. Robbie: And I was willing to give you $75. Oh!

Jackson: (sees Robbie trying to unclog the sink with a plunger) Oh, hey, Dad. Is the sink still clogged? Robbie: (sarcastically) No, son. I unclogged the sink hours ago. Now I'm just working on my triceps. Jackson: Well, here, let me help. Robbie: Really? Jackson: Sure. If you lean into it like this, you get your deltoids, too. Robbie: Maybe I'll just bench press you out the window. Jackson: Are you working on your pecs or your delts? Make up your mind!

Hannah: Oh, hey, why don't you try out with me? Lola: Cheerleading? Give me an "N," give me an "O." What does that spell? No!

Hannah: Oh, I love the smell of oatmeal. Lola: Not when it's mixed with mouthwash and my grandmother's B.O.

Hannah: So, what'd you think? Lola: Those pajamas are so cute! Hannah: I was talking about the song. Lola: Love that, too, but I can't wear it.