Hannah Montana

Jake: Dude, I slayed you once don't make me slay you again!

Jackson: Please dad, I mean, have a heart. You were sixteen once, remember. Robbie: I sure do, which kicks that no up to a heck no!

(Miley's stomach growls) Mr. Corelli: Okay, normally I'd ignore that, but ow!

Bree: Hi! I'm This Week in Hollywood's Bree Yung Zhusdan Takahashi Samuels. I'm looking for Hannah Montana. Robbie: Sweet niblets, that girl's done it again. Bree: (Interested) Done what? Robbie: Well, see, my daughter has a bit of an overactive imagination. Last week, she pretended to be the Olsen twins. Both of 'em. You talk about a Full House, whoo! (Proceeds to close the door but Bree stops him) Bree: Not so fast. (Walks into the house) I've done a little research, and the buzz is that Hannah Montana lives somewhere in this neighborhood. Robbie: Well, not in this house, I assure you. Why don't you grab one o' them mints on your way out?

Miley: I'm Hannah Montana. Bree: (Sarcastically) Yeah, and I'm J-LoMein.

Bree: Hi. I'm This Week in Hollywood's Bree Yung Shin Takahashi Samuels. We're doing a story on Jake Ryan's return to a normal life. Do you mind if we get a few shots? Mr. Corelli: Not at all. How's my hair? Bree: Doesn't matter!

Jake: Now, look, I know my coming here may be a distraction, since I am, well, you know, a superstar and Tween Magazine's hottie of the year. Lilly: (Gasps) I framed the cover! Jake: Me, too! Lilly: I hung it in my bathroom! Jake: Me, too! Lilly: Oh, my gosh! We have so much in common! We both love you!

Robbie: (to Bree Samuels) My daughter has a little bit of an overactive imagination. She likes to pretend she's celebrities. Last week, she was the Olsen twins. Both of them. You talk about a full house.

Miley: It was a secret. A really good secret that kept my whole life perfect, and now it's gone because I wanted pancakes in class. Robbie: I just wish you would've thought of that before you invited that reporter over. Miley: Me, too. I made a mistake. I'm a teenager. We act without thinking and we get zits. It's what we do. Robbie: So, uh, any idea how you're going to get yourself out of this one? Miley: Daddy, that's your job. You're a dad, that's what you do! How are you gonna help me if you can't even keep up?

Jackson: (Trying to start up his car) Start! Robbie: Sounds like a dead battery, son. Jackson: It can't be. I have to pick up Jennifer for the Coldplay concert. Turn over, you piece of junk! No, no, no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, baby! Robbie: Son, you can apologize all you want, but without a new battery, you'd have an easier time turning over Uncle Earl in his water bed.

Jake: (Wearing a hat and sunglasses) Hey, Miley, it's me Jake. I'm in disguise. Miley: As what, an ego-maniac TV star in a hat? Jake: You're lucky. If my ego wasn't so big, that would've hurt.

(Jake walks into class) Lilly: Sup, Jake? Sup? Miley: Lilly, you dropped something. Lilly: What? Miley: Your dignity.

(Mr. Corelli catches Miley trying to eat a chocolate bar in class) Mr. Corelli: Stewart, you know the rules. Oh, I hope you have enough there for everybody! Miley: Uh, only if they take really, really small bites. Mr. Corelli: I'm the only one who gets to do sarcasm around here. Give it! (Miley gives it to him) Mr. Corelli: Thank you. (Takes a bite) You guys gotta stop sneaking food into class. I'm already wearing my fat jeans!

Robbie: Not so fast, slick. Jackson: I just want to sit in it. Robbie: Let me make this simple. I don't want you touching this car, I don't want you breathing on this car, I don't want you looking at this car for more than 10 seconds without expressed written consent of Major League Baseball. Oliver: Dude, he so owned you. (Jackson turns on his car buffer that Oliver is holding, causing Oliver to fall over)

(Robbie drives up in a new car) Jackson: Wow, Dad, for me? You shouldn't have. Robbie: I didn't. My lease was up and I figured what the heck. So, what do you think? Oliver: I think it makes Jackson's car look like a piece of... (Jackson glares at him) Oliver: ... Pie. Yummy, yummy pie.

Amber & Ashley: He's coming! He's coming! Mr. Corelli: Guys, guys, just calm down. Even though Jake's a big TV star, here he's just another student... (Jake walks in) Mr. Corelli: Who totally destroys zombies! Dude, you rock!

Oliver: This is so awesome! I'm gonna be this close to a famous person! Miley: What am I, a grilled cheese sandwich? Lilly: When you're Miley, you might as well be.