Happy Days

Season 9 Episode 9

No, Thank You

Aired Tuesday 8:00 PM Dec 01, 1981 on ABC

Episode Recap

At Arnold's, Joanie and Chachi perform "Looking Good, Feeling Fine." Tommy plays the piano, and Bobby is on drums. After the song, Bobby calls for a big hand for Joanie and, then, Chachi, who is performing with an electric guitar for the first time. They take a break. Fonzie comes out of his office, and Al sings part of the song. Fonzie says he must have missed something. Al says that life is beautiful. Fonzie says life isn't so beautiful when you're doing the books. Al says he'll take over and goes into the restroom. Roger comes in and introduces Fonzie to a new teacher, Gloria McInerny. Gloria leaves to use the restroom. Roger says he just got through showing her the basketball court. Fonzie asks him if he's asked her out, and he replies that he doesn't have to ask out every girl he sees. Fonzie guesses that she turned him down, and Roger confirms it. She told him, "no, thank you." Roger invites Fonzie to take his best shot at her. Fonzie works his magic as Roger listens in to gain a few pointers. Gloria turns Fonzie down, as well, saying "no, thank you." Gloria leaves. Fonzie tells Roger that he's never been turned down before. Roger says that every streak comes to an end at some point.

At the Cunningham house, Fonzie takes the baby from Lori Beth and gives him a few kisses. He says the baby looks like Alfred Hitchcock. In the living room, Marion tells Joanie and Chachi not to say anything about what happened to Fonzie earlier because he's probably very sensitive about it. Fonzie finishes fixing the bottle warmer and asks Marion if she needs anything else. Marion replies, "no, thank you," and Fonzie asks who told. Chachi says that there was someone sitting at the next table who told Jenny Piccalo. Fonzie says that, now, everybody will know his business. Howard comes in and apologizes to Fonzie about Gloria. He said his barber told him. Fonzie says he's going to take care of this and leaves.

Later, he comes back in with Gloria. He tries to get together with her, but she resists him. She says there's something he doesn't know. Fonzie calls the Cunninghams down from upstairs. He gives Gloria a bouquet of flowers and reads her a complimentary note the Cunninghams wrote. Fonzie says they're both laughing together and suggests they dance the night away. Gloria says, "no, thank you." She tells Fonzie not to pressure her. He tells her to say "no, thank you" to this and, then, kisses her. She screams in horror, gives Fonzie back the flowers, and runs out the door.

At Arnold's, Fonzie talks to Chachi about what happened while Al is listening from behind. Fonzie says Roger is talking to her. Al says he made a woman scream once, but it was because he sat on her dog. Roger comes in and tells Fonzie that Gloria is a nun. Fonzie feverishly wipes his lips after learning this, and thunder is heard from above.

Fonzie can't believe he kissed a nun, and Roger tells him that he's not to blame because he didn't know. Fonzie says he should be sent to a leper colony and shouldn't be around people. He goes into his office.

Later, Roger tells Chachi that Fonzie told him he never wants to see another girl. Fonzie comes in with a girl, Cindy. Cindy sits down, and Chachi and Roger take Fonzie aside. Fonzie says life goes on. He goes into his office. Father Anthony Delvecchio comes in looking for Fonzie. Chachi introduces the Father to Roger. He goes into Fonzie's office to talk to him. Fonzie is laying face-down on his desk. Fonzie says he can't go on with the charade. Anthony asks Fonzie to tell him what he did saying that nothing can shock him. Fonzie tells Anthony what he did, and Anthony quickly moves away and washes his hands. He assumes it was an old nun whom Fonzie helped carry groceries, and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. Fonzie says she was young, had no groceries, and it was on the lips. Fonzie says he is filled with guilt and asks for penance. Anthony tells Fonzie to come to the church so they can talk. Fonzie says he needs to suffer now and leaves.

At the house, Al comes in saying that he found Fonzie and that he's in worse shape than they thought.

At a carnival, Fonzie is the dummy in the "Dunk the Dummy" tank. He begs for someone to dunk him. A man throws a ball but misses the target. Gloria comes over to him and asks if they can talk. She sits on the platform with Fonzie and says she can see the whole carnival from up there. Fonzie says, right off the bat, that he didn't know she was a nun. She asks what he's doing there, and she says he shouldn't punish himself. She said she should have just told him she was a nun. She said that, before the incident, she had very serious doubts about becomming a nun. After the kiss, she had no more doubts. She says the kiss was a very severe test of her commitment, and she passed. She kisses him on the cheek.

She says he can buy her some cotton candy, but he says he has an hour left up there. He wants to honor his commitment and, also, wants to be dunked just once like a purge. A man tries to hit the target but misses. Gloria tries and hits it on the first try. Fonzie takes the plunge and says "thank you."

Songs in this episode: "Looking Good Feeling Fine" (played by Joanie and Chachi's band) written for the series "Blue Velvet" by Bobby Vinton (1963) "Georgia On My Mind" by Ray Charles (1960) "Rhythm Of The Rain" by The Cascades (1963) "On Broadway" (instrumental) by The Drifters (1963) an unknown instrumental