Happy Hour Season 1 Episode 1

Amanda: He needs you. He needs you like I need...someone.
Henry: Hey, but don't you want the right someone?
Amanda: Oh, look at the little country mouse in the big city.

Larry: Just tell'em you're a Navy SEAL or something.
Henry: No, I'm not gonna do that. I'm me and that should be enough for any girl.
Larry: You're absolutely right.
Larry: (To a woman walking by) Hey Beth, come here, I want you to meet a friend of mine. This is Henry, he's a Navy SEAL.

Larry: Tina, I want my TV back. You'll never watch it, it's in the sun room and we both know you can't be in the sun because you'll melt.

Henry: Look at all those beautiful women. This is good. This might be working. You know what I'm gonna do to get over Heather?
Larry: I think I do.
Henry: I'm gonna get a girl's number.
Larry: No, I guess I didn't.

Henry: I don't need her. I don't need anybody. I'm gonna take this city by storm. I'm gonna buy roller blades and I'm gonna roller blade by her and be all like "whazzup". Because I don't even miss her.
(Heather enters the room)
Heather: Henry!
Henry: Oh thank God, I missed you so much!

Amanda: Hey, I saw your balls today.
Henry: I can't tell you how sorry I am about that, sometimes they have a mind of their own.

Henry: I have a BA in finance, I was the youngest inventory manager ever at John Deere, I'm efficient, experienced and an asset to any organisation.
Amanda: I can see your balls.
Henry: What?
Amanda: There's not a part of them that I can't see.

Heather: Henry, look. I know this is hard, but I can't help it, I'm blossoming!
Henry: When did you start blossoming?
Heather: Remember last week when I said I was celebrating and you said celebrating what and I said nothing...then.

Henry: You're breaking up with me? When did you decide this?
Heather: Remember last week, when I was kind of quiet and you asked me what was wrong and I said nothing... then.

Tina: Where's the remote?
(Larry grabs it and stuffs it in his pants)
Larry: I think it's in my pants.
Tina: I'm sure there's plenty of room down there.

Larry: What time you got?
Henry: Four o'clock.
(Larry cues Dean Martin singing "Ain't that a shot in the head" and starts to pour martinis)
Henry: What's this?.
Larry: Four o'clock... it's martini time!